Did we do something wrong with ds1?

[SnuggleBuggles]

He is almost 6.5 and doesn't believe in magic. If he can't see it then he just doesn't believe it. This extends to the tooth fairy and I bet Santa.

He is right and he makes some good, astute conclusions. He has really reasoned things out. But, he just seems so little to have decided there is no magic though. Is this about the right age for these sorts of thoughts?

He is still very happy. He's just super analytical and things every single thing through from every possible angle.

I just hope we didn't screw up somewhere along the way. He has shown skepticism about magical things in the past year and we will never confirm or deny, we just ask him what he thinks.

Any thoughts?

Beth

[irie i]

Sounds like he is just a very gotta-see-it-or-understand-it-to-believe-it sorta little guy! I don't see anything wrong with that! I was the same way...I also always wanted to know how things work and my favorite question was WHY which did sometimes annoy my parents. My Mom's favorite answer was "because I said so" which didn't appease me in the least. lol. I just kept questioning and questioning and saying "that isn't a good reason." Other than being annoying the one thing about this that bothered my Mom is that I am an atheist...but she's over that...at least she has been but wait 'til she thinks its time to "baptize" my baby (due January) then we will see how "over it" she really is!

[Gena]

I think this is probably a personality trait and not anything you did.

When I was around that age, I decided that I would not read any more "made-up stories" because they were lies and I and would only read things that were true. I also disliked fantasy and magic at that age.

My parents told me that at school I had to read what the teacher assigned, but at home I could choose what to read. As a result I acquired a wonderful collection of children's non-fiction including history, science, and biographies. They were also careful to distinguish between "magic" and our religious beliefs so that they were able to preserve and nurture my faith.

Around age 12, I eventually went back to reading fiction by choice, but only science fiction and definately not fantasy. This holds true even today. I still read mostly non-fiction with a good "hard sci-fi" novel thrown in now and then.

I think it is okay for your son the be skeptical about magic. It doesn't mean that he cannot still find wonder in the world. Rainbows and sunsets are still beautiful when you understand the science behind them. And knowing that men really walked on the moon inspires awe in many children. Find out what inspires him and run with it. He will find his own magic in that.

[SnuggleBuggles]

On the subject of religion...we aren't religious (I'm non-practicing Catholic and dh is non -practicing UCC) but I don't want to really close ds's door to religion. I want him to find his own path. So, when he told me the other day that G*d was not real because no one has ever seen him ("the planes fly up in the clouds; heaven is in the clouds; someone should have seen something") I responded with, "sometimes you just have to choose to believe." He agreed to do that.

I agree, Gena, there is magic everywhere and he does seem to appreciate naturally occuring wonders. So, I guess we are pretty good.


Beth

[lizajane]

not believing in santa (etc) at an early age is a sign of giftedness.



rest easy. he is just really smart.

[Tondi G]

Originally Posted by lizajane

not believing in santa (etc) at an early age is a sign of giftedness.



rest easy. he is just really smart.

This came to my mind as well. My DS is 7 and he has been questioning Santa, the tooth fairy etc. I think he is extra smart though cause I have a suspicion that he really knows that these things aren't "real" but he chooses to let his parents continue to think he does believe cause he knows where the toys and $ are coming from! LOL I'm just thankful that he still plays it up for his little brother and doesn't spoil it for him!!!!

[s7714]

I don't think there's anything wrong with not believing in "magic". IMO it's more important to believe in the fun of imagination, but also to accept that some things do happen seemingly without explanation simply because we don't know the answers to everything.

I think some kids are just naturally logical when it comes to that stuff. Even as a young child I never was one to totally accept the theories of Santa, the Easter Bunny, etc. I distinctly remember hiding under the coffee table the night before Easter when I was 4 years old with the sole intention of trying to catch my mom or dad putting stuff in my Easter basket. (Didn't work though--I fell asleep!) I never out right questioned the concepts until I was about 6 or 7 however.

[irie i]

Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles

On the subject of religion...we aren't religious (I'm non-practicing Catholic and dh is non -practicing UCC) but I don't want to really close ds's door to religion. I want him to find his own path. So, when he told me the other day that G*d was not real because no one has ever seen him ("the planes fly up in the clouds; heaven is in the clouds; someone should have seen something") I responded with, "sometimes you just have to choose to believe." He agreed to do that.

*nods* Also, people see "god" in so many different things that CAN be seen...they see god in creatures and in good people/good deeds...and in the many wonders of the world that haven't been explained scientifically.

[egoldber]

Sarah's best friend (an 8 year old boy) is like this. He is just very, very analytical. Sarah has questioned things, but she wants to be believe, so she doesn't push too hard LOL!

The only thing that bothered me is that he told her that the tooth fairy was not real (and convinced her) before she even lost her first tooth. That really kind of upset me. She now pseudo believes. She knows it's me, but wants to believe, so she just pretends to.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Once I am positive that he doesn't believe in any of the Santa, tooth fairy...stuff I will be sure to have the "don't spoil it for other kids" talk.

Beth