Need some BF support- I'm stressed out & my nipples are falling out! (long)

[ShanaMama]

DD2 has severe food allergies. I feel like every day I find out more things she can't have. So, at almost 9 months, she is still EBF. (Poor kid loves eating!) The more I see that she can't tolerate various foods, the more motivated I am to continue breastfeeding. The problem is that I am having a really hard time with it and I am getting NO support.
My mom, who helps many other people with nursing problems completely brushed me off. I asked the ped for a rec to a lactation consultant and he handed me a can of Elecare (formula for allergic babies).
No one can believe that I am so insane as to keep cutting things out of my diet as I find out they affect my baby. I don't think I'm being such a martyr trying to give my baby the nutrition that I feel is best for her. Specifically in her situation, breastmilk is ideal because I can manipulate the ingredients. I have no way of knowing how she'll tolerate formula, and I truly believe my milk is the best possible thing for her.
Currently, her latch is not great. She pulls my breast away from her face to mimic the nipple of the Playtex Nurser, so does not have the full areola (SP?) in her mouth as she should. She is also BITING me with her razor sharp little teeth. My nipples are so sore that it's agony to nurse and even worse to pump. I am literally in pain for 20 minutes after she eats.
The last problem is that I am starving. I've been completely dairy-free for 7 months now. I just cut out sesame, all nuts, and cooked eggs (not baked goods). My replacements for dairy protein were Hummus, egg salad and nuts!! I do not love soy so I am left with pretty few choices- basically meats, poultry and fish.
I'm at the end of my rope. If she wasn't so highly allergic I would probably be ready to give up pumping and start supplementing but I am really reluctant to do that. I just can't take the pain anymore!!
Thanks for listening. Any advice or tips would be much appreciated.

[AbbysMom]

Congrats for doing what you've done so far! I don't have any tips on the nursing. I have actually noticed that with my 5.5. month old in the past week or so. She has 2 bottom teeth and has started biting as well so I can commiserate! I've just been taking her off and putting her back on b/c I figure when she's taking my nipples for a ride, she's not really paying attention to eating.

I also feel the same about nursing as long as I can with her b/c of the allergies. I'm hoping to make it to a year for the shear fact that my insurance doesn't cover the hypo-allergenic formulas. But I'm giving her a couple bottles a week of formula for a break. I need it!

I've only had to cut out milk and soy for my DD's allergies but I'm certainly not starving. I devour a full bag of keetlecorn every night (I cringe to think of it!). My 2 year old loves to bake so we make Dunkin Hines brownies and cakes every week b/c there's no milk protein or soy in the pre-mixes. And I use Crisco instead of butter to make chocolate chip cookies. Did I mention the bacon? Man! I am totally replacing the stuff I can't eat with bad stuff in massive quantities.

Hang in there! You're doing a great job!

[tylersmama]

I don't really have any advice about the allergies/sensitivities, but wanted to send you a . Hang in there, mama.

I know that there are some wise mamas here that have been through some of this and will be able to help, but you may consider checking out the breastfeeding forums over at mothering.com as well. I know that there are a LOT of women over there who have been through similar situations and can support you. General breastfeeding forum and Breastfeeding challenges forum

[ThreeofUs]

Okay, first the hugs. You deserve them and you're going through heck to EBF your baby.

1) I don't think you're a martyr, I think you're smart. Very smart, in fact, and committed to doing the right thing for your DD.
2) Can you get a LC to help you with the latch? That would be my first move.
3) Think of your diet as a healthy one - meats, vegetables, starches are a great base for a good life diet.

FWIW, my experience (at least with the kids-with-allergies and diet part) has been similar. My family and DH's are both allergy-ridden. I barely eat anything that "normal" Americans eat, and just recently realized that G is allergic to chocolate and maybe sensitive to tea and pepperoni. He stopped throwing up so much when I cut chocolate, and seems to have a little trouble after the t and p. So out went the dark chocolate (I was only eating about a square a day!), and the t and p are going next, darn it all.

That leaves my diet at meats and veggies. Which isn't so bad, when you think about, it, but GOSH I loved my small indulgences.

This is all to say that I believe you can take a proactive approach to diet that will keep both of you healthy for the long term. In fact, I support you to do so!

But I would see an LC so that you can work on the latch problem. After all, you and your baby need to work together on this, right?

Best of luck to you!

[DrSally]

Shanamama,

I feel your pain. Ds was allergic to milk, and still allergic to eggs and peanuts. I, too, felt BM was best for him, esp. since he wasn't getting cow's milk. I did start giving soymilk at 14months?, but really wanted him to get mostly BM and not too much soy. He did love soymilk though. I cut out dairy, peanuts and nuts. It wasn't easy, I agree. Though, I only cut out obvious dairy. That works for some people, others need to cut out all diary. I wouldn't drink soymilk straight, but would have it in cereal. I love nuts, so that was hard too, in some ways. FWIW, I think allergists say that you should cut things out of your diet *only* if it's bothering your DC. If it doesn't seem to bother her, then it's not necessary to cut it out, KWIM? I was also able to add dairy back into my diet around 18 months and noticed that it didn't give him the red cheeks. I've heard that other people are able to slowly add dairy back into their diet eventually as well. DS passed his dairy challenge at 2yo, so that was what our progression was like.

Anyway, do you go to LLL? They can really help you with your latch. It might be easier than trying to find a good LC. You need to get that latch fixed so your not in pain. The biting...I think what works best is to take her off immediately after biting, put her down, and say "no biting" firmly. LLL says to even end the nursing session, b/c if they're biting, they're prob not hungry.

Also, if it's more pulling on the nipple and pushing off the breast, could it be that she's pulling and "biting" b/c the milk isn't coming. Is it possible you're so stressed and hungry that you're not getting good letdown? Sometimes babies pull at the nipple and push the breast as a way to try to get the milk out.

Those are some initial thoughts. I think LLL could help you a lot. That's weird your mom is not helping.

ETA: Also, DD doesn't really eat any solids either and gets up 4-5 times per night still! But, I'd rather do slow on solids with her, so I'm hacking it for now!

[JTsMom]

Aww mama, you're doing such a great thing for your DD! I totally agree with ThreeofUs- you're not a martyr, you're smart! I also 100% agree with Sally that you should try to find either a good LC, or a good LLL group- preferably both. You need support, and I'm so sorry you haven't found it yet- you certainly deserve it! I'd definitely fix the latch issue, no matter what it takes- you shouldn't have to suffer like that.

I don't have any advice on the allergy issues, but on the plus side, at least you can start to get used to things and find alternatives now, so by the time your DD is really eating a lot of solids, you'll have things down to a science. One more . We're pulling for you!

[Elilly]

I went through a very similar situation except my diet was even more restricted... no dairy, soy, nuts, eggs, corn AND gluten. I made it 8 months. Between the stress of a "failure to thrive" diagnosis, being hungry all of the time, and having an infant that didn't sleep, and a 2 year old, we made the decision to switch to neocate. For us, it was best for our family. I was an absolute mess all of the time... all of the time.
But, think about all that you can eat.... fruits, veggies, sorbet, rice dream ice cream etc. Have you been to the "parents of food allergy kids" website? There are some women on there that literally have 5 foods and continue to nurse. I'm not trying to make you feel guilty with thinking about weaning, I just want you to know that there are resources out there for you.
IF you decide to wean, I would continue pumping for at least a month after you start the elecare or neocate. If your child has corn issues, then those might not really be an option and you would need to nurse/pump. I pumped for 6 weeks to make sure that the neocate would solve our issues. I just ended up donating the milk
Hugs to you. It does get easier.

[bubbaray]

Has your DD actually been diagnosed with food allergies by a pediatric allergist? By what means? What was the allergist's advice re BFg?

I agree with the PPs that you need to find an LC and/or LLL group. Though, I will say that I never got anything but grief and mis-guided lecturing from *my* LLL (but I'm pretty sure you aren't local to me, LOL, so your LLL group might be helpful instead of evil).

I can tell you our experience with FAs (DD#2 had a severe anaphylactic reaction to salmon when she was 11.75m, she was subsequently diagnosed with peanut and egg allergies by a pediatric allergist). Our allergist told me in no uncertain terms that DD#2 was not exposed to any food allergens by me eating foods and I was free to eat whatever I wanted. Having said that, when we stopped having any fish whatsoever in the house, DD#2's eczema cleared up (not 100%, but pretty close). The dr's tell us that the eczema was likely the "cause" of the food allergies (b/c the proteins entered her body through the cracks in her skin caused by the eczema, instead of via her digestive tract). The dr's also tell us that her eczema improved b/c she is no longer getting "contact" or airborne exposure to fish, not b/c I've eliminated it from my diet.

I know many moms here have had success with elimination diets and BFg. I'm just telling you that our ped. allergist d/n believe in them.

Prior to seeing our current ped. allergist and ped. dermatologist, we saw a different ped. allergist who put me on a strict elimination diet (basically, chicken and rice). I was on it for two months, starving and MISERABLE. DD#2's then-severe eczema did not improve and, in fact, worsened over that time. So, I'm not a huge believer in elimination diets unless there is a scientific rationale behind the recommendation. YMMV.

[Melbel]

You are doing awesome!!!

If we were local to one another, I would invite you to a pity party for both of us! DD2 is also 9 months old, has severe reflux and we have had a near constant battle with thrush since she was born. Notwithstanding major diet restrictions between the ailments, I am still exclusively breastfeeding. She seems to be sensitive to nuts and shellfish and I have had to eliminate sweets and most carbs due to the thrush. I recently tried to reintroduce some carbs and the thrush came back with a vengeance. Meanwhile, not a single friend or family member supports my decision to continue BF. I am constantly asked how long am I going to continue. I also firmly believe that BM is best for her.

When my LO bit me with her own razor sharp tooth slashing my nipple, I about lost it. www.kellymom.com had some suggestions. I ended up firmly telling her "no" and "no biting" and pulling her away. She was teething at the time. Other than one other incident, she has been much better.

I am going to a pediatric allergist on Monday to hopefully get more guidance on her potential allergies. Have you been to a PA?

If you are ever having a bad day and need a pep talk or empathy, feel free to pm me. Hang in there mama!

[KpbS]

I know exactly where you are coming from. DS1 had horrible, horrible food allergies. He had oozing eczema, hives, vomitting, reflux, sandifer's syndrome etc. I ebf him for 6 mo. I was terrified with the prospect of not breastfeeding him and giving him hypo formula. My son had been feeding around the clock but not gaining any weight and was so miserable. After 3 mo. of an elimination diet of 8 foods and losing 15 lbs. (and being emotionally and physically exhausted) it still was the absolute last thing I wanted to do. I put the decision off as long as I could and after an endoscopy and colonoscopy revealing elevated levels of allergic cells and other physical changes I weaned him to formula. I was so devastated.

But it was the best thing I could have possibly done at the time--for DS1, myself, and my family. And if I could have known at the time how much he would have improved I would have done it in a heartbeat when problems started around 2 mo.

I am not telling you what to do--how you feed your child is your decision--but I wish that someone would have told me during my darkest times that it could be (and would be different) and formula was not the end of the world--some babies can thrive on it--and some babies DO react to the proteins in breastmilk.