Bathroom & Kindergarten?

[bubbaray]

Anyone else's child having anxiety relating to using the bathroom at K?

DD#1 is in 1/2 day French Immersion K. There is a bathroom INSIDE the classroom, not down the hall or anything. A few weeks back, she had an accident (had spare clothes there and at daycare). I spoke with the teacher at the time and she assured me that the children knew where the bathroom was and they could use it anytime.

Last night, DD#1 started crying that she d/n want to go to school. She was REALLY upset. DH and I got out of her that it was b/c of the bathroom. She said that she d/n like asking to go (which the teacher has them do so that if they leave to go to the library/gym/music, or evacuate, she knows where they are -- I am fine with DD#1 being told to ask before she goes, she also does that at daycare).

So, today I dropped her off at K (we had just returned from a dr's appt, usually daycare busses her). We were a bit early, so I spoke with the teacher. The teacher says DD#1 is doing FABULOUSLY at K, she's very outgoing there (which DD#1 usually isnt, I would describe her as a quiet introvert, but apparently that is just at home). So, the teacher was puzzled. DD#1 could't explain it to us. She showed me the bathroom and it d/n appear scary or unusual in any way. DD#1 says nothing "bad" has happened in the bathroom, there has been no incident or anything.

DH and I think this relates to DD#1 not liking to raise her hand and ask to go. But, that's a classroom rule and one that I support (and one she's lived by at daycare). I mean, if the teacher had 18 kids all go off hither and fro, how would she know where they are? So, I'm really don't think the teacher is at fault here. She is very experienced and really AWESOME.

How do we get DD#1 to be OK going to the bathroom at school? Ideas? Obviously, this needs to change b/c she will be full-day next year. DH's idea of having her go at daycare just compounds the problem for next year IMO.

Thoughts?

[hobie]

My guys are in all day Kindergarten this year (8:00-2:30). They hardly ever use the bathroom at school. I don't know how they do it! The situation is very similar to yours...great teacher, great kids, but I think they are just too busy to go (no accidents thus far, but I do send back up clothes). They are also too busy to eat much for lunch, so as soon as they get in the car to go home, I have them eat a filling snack, and they go potty as soon as they get home.

[kristenk]

Could it be that your DD is embarrassed about calling attention to herself when she needs to use the bathroom? I was worried that would be my DD's problem in K, but it hasn't happened. In DD's class, though, there are certain times when it's okay to go to the bathroom (also in the classroom) without asking permission. They also have at least one time during the day when everyone goes out into the hallway bathrooms to wash hands and use the bathroom, if necessary, before lunch. That means that there are several times during the school day that DD can use the bathroom without declaring to the whole class that she needs to go!

Maybe it would help if you and the teacher come up with a more discreet way for your DD to ask permission until she gets used to everything?

[AnnieW625]

It was 27 years ago that I was in kindergarten (half day) and it had a bathroom in the class. I used to get really nervous about asking to go and I think I was just nervous that the teacher would say no. I do remember her saying no to going to the bathroom, but I don't remember if that was to me or to another kid who may have been waiting for someone else to be done. At 5 I probably didn't understand why I couldn't use it that moment. I never had an accident but I just didn't like to wait. So maybe your DD is going through something similar.

[bubbaray]

Originally Posted by kristenk

Could it be that your DD is embarrassed about calling attention to herself when she needs to use the bathroom?

Yup, that is what we think it is.

Originally Posted by kristenk

... Maybe it would help if you and the teacher come up with a more discreet way for your DD to ask permission until she gets used to everything?

She's only there 2.5 hours a day. The class is 17 or so kids (max is 20) with 1 teacher, no aide. I dunno. I thought it was that she was shy in class, but the teacher says she is anything but shy in class -- very extroverted (which I was shocked at).

[JustMe]

I don't know if this would make her feel like she was calling less attention to herself, but at my dd's school they raise their hand and do the sign for bathroom or potty, which as far as I can tell seems to be making a fist with your thumb in between your pointer and middle finger...so she would still need to raise her hand, her peers would see, but the teacher generally just points and nods quietly at dd's school.