S/O: What were you doing in your 20s and 30s?

[arivecchi]

I am always in awe of people who have kids in their 20s. I was SO NOT ready for kids in my 20s. Here is my trajectory:

20s: college, grad school, start my career, work like a slave, travel, work out, shop

early 30s: marry DH, have DS1

mid 30s: have DS2

[crl]

I graduated from college at age 22, graduated from law school at age 25, got married at age 26. We didn't have DS until we were in our 30s though.

In some ways, I think it would make more sense to go to college, have the kids, stay home for a few years, then get the law degree/ graduate degree and establish a career. It will be virtually impossible for me to return to work as an attorney after several years as a stay-at-home mom without getting further education or putting in some significant volunteer hours or something like that.

Catherine

[Nechums]

I'm in my mid-20's now. I used the earlier half of the decade to finish up college, get married, work, and start graduate school. I had DS at 25, stopped working but continued graduate school. I can't imagine having waited any longer to have DC.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I admit that I have a tad of jealousy of the fabulous single career girl 20's life. But, then again, I am happily married and I would not trade any of my life for that alternative. So, yeah, I was old ahead of my time but I also didn't have to suffer through ridiculous blind dates, I always had a date for things, I got to spend my time with a person that I loved and that loved me and then I got to have ds1. We had some time before ds1 was born where we did the traveling thing and out to dinner/ hanging out with friends. I feel like we got to experience enough of that. It's not like life has ended because we have kids either. Might take a bit more juggling but we go out with friends and have fun. I did miss out on a career but I am still young enough that I don't have to rule it out.

Sorry, this hit a nerve because it's not like I can do my life over. Hindsight is 20/20 and you don't always see how your decisions will pan out in the future. I didn't realize how you really can't do some things over- some times they are just gone. I get a bit sad seeing what some of my newly married, childless friends my age are doing with their lives. But, then I remind myself how many of them had told me over the years that they wish they had what I had.

I guess a happy, successful marriage is an impressive feat and am glad that I do have that under my belt. Sometimes I had felt like a failure because that's pretty much all I have going for myself. That is a really good thing though. I have been reminding myself that success comes in different forms.

I think that I will come into my own soon enough. I do have years ahead of me (hopefully). My 20's were college, marriage, ds1 with some hanging out and traveling thrown in there.

Beth

[HIU8]

20's Grad school, working. That's pretty much it.

30's working and got married at 33. I'm almost out of my 30's --less than a year to go.

[momof2girls]

Graduated college at 21. Worked and dated around until I met DH at 24. Married and got a house at 25. Got pregnant at 27 and worked until DD#1 was born. I've been a SAHM ever since and only regret not having my kids closer in age (they are 2.5 yrs apart). The plan was to be done with kids by 30 and so far everything has worked out according to plan (knock on wood).

[maiaann]

DH and I got married soon after we graduated from college. I was 23, he was 22. We then moved from KS to CO so DH could get his master's degree. We got pregnant with DD1 right away. I worked while pregnant and DH went to school. 3 years later, DH graduated with his master's and got a job. I quit working to stay home. We then bought our first house and had DD2 - I was 29. DD3 came along last summer. I turn 33 tomorrow - it's been a busy 10 years!

[WatchingThemGrow]

Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles

I guess a happy, successful marriage is an impressive feat and am glad that I do have that under my belt. Sometimes I had felt like a failure because that's pretty much all I have going for myself. That is a really good thing though. I have been reminding myself that success comes in different forms.

Beth, I would have, and 95% of my friends would have given a limb to have that in our 20's. We instead had to fill our lives up with other stuff to take our minds off that void.

20's - teaching, running, chasing cute guys, waterskiing, snowskiing, volunteering, trying to learn to cook, learning about home ownership, doing lots of Bible study
30's - mission trips, moving, more teaching, graduate school, more water and snowskiing, less running (aging body), remodeling an older home
35 - met DH, get married, have a baby, another baby, another baby...
39.5 YIKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What can I do in the last 5 mos of my 30's to make it fun? Work on that happy successful marriage so it is those two things?

[arivecchi]

Originally Posted by SnuggleBuggles

Sorry, this hit a nerve because it's not like I can do my life over. Hindsight is 20/20 and you don't always see how your decisions will pan out in the future. I didn't realize how you really can't do some things over- some times they are just gone. I get a bit sad seeing what some of my newly married, childless friends my age are doing with their lives.

I sometimes feel the reverse. Did I have kids too old, etc.? Did I waste valuable time working so much? It is what it is. I don't think I personally was ready for kids in my 20s. I was way too immature and selfish then, but I do question my timeline too. It's only human.....

[elliput]

20's- work, marriage, and more work
30's- work, then kids
40's- SAHM

I consider myself retired from being a WOHM (as I had 20 years of work under my belt), and now have a second career as a SAHM.