Toy Aisle has a Whorehouse in it *update in post 42*

[GlindaGoodWitch]

(Lord have mercy on our souls!)

So GlindaJr has been invited to a Barbie themed birthday party in 2 weeks and I, in a highly unusual moment of clarity, remembered this while still IN the store today.

I find an adorable little play set with Babs as a teacher and a little swingset and a girl on a trike and all of this seemed to fit the bill, but wasn't quite enough, so I figure I'll grab a little clothing set to finish it off. Which is when I discovered that Barbie apparently has a second profession.

My choices were (and I sh*t you not) :
The I Wanna Be a Burlesque Dancer collection (I guess you have to buy the pole separately.)


The Paris Hilton I Can't Exit the Car without a Beaver Shot collection
(Can't find a pic of the micro dresses)

Or The Beach Party Collection. I would have overlooked the skeezy bathing suit until I realized that one of the accessories is a freakin margarita. (She's a drunk too?)


Finally in the back I came across a really adorable pink tuxedo and got 1/2 way to the checkout before I realized it was for Ken.


I found myself staring at the pegged wall when an associate asked me if he could help me find something so I said, "Barbie clothes that don't look like she's auditioning for porn?"

He literally just shook his head "no" and walked off.

So when did this happen? When did Doctor Barbie become a gynie complete with stirrups, an iud and a confidential std report? I'm pretty sure Ken, GI Joe AND Tickle Me Elmo have (ahem) tapped that btw.

A pal told me I should look at the Back to Basics collection, but really they just looked like more expensive call girls. Hmmm. Am I looking at Amazon.com or an online prostitution ring? ("I'll take the leggy brunette with the big rack.")


Choking hazard indeed.

Now I'll tell you what really made me sad and that is that right underneath the Twilight Edward & Jacob dolls (not a fan, but just so you know there were WAY more Ed's) were the "vintage" dolls from the 60's. Barbie was a school teacher and an astronaut. I'm sure I'll recall all of this fondly when I'm 80 and the "vintage 2010" doll has crystal meth & a condom.

I mean I just wanna get this girl a birthday present that isn't going to require her parents to have the sex talk afterwards. Is that asking too much? The child is 4 for Pete's sake. Does she really need to be introduced to the world of thongs and waxing and double sided sticky tape?

Am I being a prude? Unfashion forward? I mean I have stuck it out through the last 2 incredibly snooze inducing seasons of Project Runway after all. (NINAGARCIA! is a goddess.)

Where do I go to find UnHoBarbie?

[BabyMine]

[nrp]

Can't respond, laughing... too... hard...

[catroddick]

Choking hazard indeed.

Oh, I am right there with ya!! I already know I'll pay the *bs* prices for Breyer horses if it will just keep DD away from Do Me Barbie.

[Fairy]

I'm DYING, here! You're killin' me!

Also? -->

[cono0507]

(wishing there was a like button like FB has!)

LOL!

So sad, so true and so hilarious. Thanks for the laugh!!!

[MontrealMum]

Seriously Glinda, you should write for a living

[niccig]

I'm crying and I have to go pee...you crack me up. That was so funny. And I agree 100% - I don't buy barbie when I need a girl present as there is no UnHo Barbie...do you have a blog? You have to write more like this...I would read it.

ETA. Can I forward this to other mum friends - I would copy and paste and give you credit.

[BabyMine]

Looks like Paris Hilton bought the suit from the "Beach Party Look" in a different color.



http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=...26tbs%3Disch:1

[mytwosons]

Seriously Glinda, you should write for a living

You have a gift!

When I first saw the beach set, I didn't think it was all THAT bad. Until you pointed out the margarita. What are they thinking?!?