Getting DS1 out of bed in the morning

[Cam&Clay]

Getting DS1 out of bed in the morning is the bane of my existence. He is a good kid but he will not get out of bed on time in the morning. I start waking him up to 30 minutes earlier than he needs to get up. I make sure he goes to bed early enough. I take away the electronics. I end up in his room 7 or 8 times until I am screaming. We end up in a fight every morning because he is running late, which causes me to run late and puts me in a horrible mood. Poor DS2 suffers because I'm so angry at DS1.

Alarm clocks don't work. He turns it off and goes back to sleep.

I have always been the kind of person that got up right after the alarm went off. I cannot stand being late for anything. I would have rather died than miss the bus as a kid.

He is a good student. He enjoys school. I'm at my wits end. I cannot go through another morning like this. Any advice?

[KrisM]

At age 12, I'd make it his responsibility. Tell him if he misses the bus or his ride to school, then he is responsible for getting himself there.

[mytwosons]

I was just reading this Love and Logic book: http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Kids...6606490&sr=8-1 and they addressed this problem.

Since missing school isn't always seen as a negative by kids, they suggested finding a friend who is free in the mornings. The parent leaves on time and tells the late child the friend will drive them to school for $x. I thought it was a pretty good idea!

ETA: If you aren't familiar with L&L, you are supposed to speak to the child in a matter-of-fact tone; don't get upset. Ex: DS I'm leaving at 7:30; I really hope you are ready. DS, I'm leaving now. Susie is here and will take you to school when you are ready. BTW, she charges $10/hr. If the child complains, you empathize with them - I'm so sorry you have to use your money for transportation to school instead of the movies; that stinks! Hopefully tomorrow you'll be ready at 7:30 and won't have to pay for a ride to school.

[Cam&Clay]

Originally Posted by KrisM

At age 12, I'd make it his responsibility. Tell him if he misses the bus or his ride to school, then he is responsible for getting himself there.

He'll be 13 in a week, and I totally agree. The problem is that they aren't supposed to walk to school without parent permission and they have to be signed in by a parent if he gets to school late. If I leave, then he's stuck at home all day.

[Cam&Clay]

Originally Posted by mytwosons

I was just reading this Love and Logic book: http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Kids...6606490&sr=8-1 and they addressed this problem.

Since missing school isn't always seen as a negative by kids, they suggested finding a friend who is free in the mornings. The parent leaves on time and tells the late child the friend will drive them to school for $x. I thought it was a pretty good idea!

This is a great idea. I'm racking my brain, though, trying to think of anyone around here who could drive him for a fee. I work 45 minutes away, XH is an hour away, and DH is in Afghanistan. All of our friends work.

Maybe I should let him miss school one day and deal with the extra work involved. Of course, I'd have to take the video games with me to work. It's not exactly punishment to miss school and play video games all day!

I was almost in tears again this morning. I hate starting our days like this. I hate sending him off to school mad at me. I hate always being the bad guy.

FWIW, XH admits he was like this as a teenager and was late to school almost every day in high school. That is completely unacceptable to me. I couldn't live like that.

[KrisM]

I'd let him be late and take the consequences.

Maybe he can pay you to drive him if he's not in the car ready to go at a certain time?

I'm sure there are other things he can lose or be charged for as consequences, but I can't think of any

[cvanbrunt]

I agree with the others. He needs to be responsible for getting himself up and ready on time. 1,2,3, Magic also gives similar advice to the Logic book. Leave the number for a taxi company. He has to pay for it and if he doesn't make it to school on time his video games are gone for the weekend. Is that a possibility?

[cvanbrunt]

Originally Posted by Cam&Clay

He'll be 13 in a week, and I totally agree. The problem is that they aren't supposed to walk to school without parent permission and they have to be signed in by a parent if he gets to school late. If I leave, then he's stuck at home all day.

Maybe if you talk to the school and tell them what's happening and your plan to change his behavior, they will help out a be a little flexible a few days.

[mytwosons]

Can you explain the situation to your boss and ask for your hours to be shifted for a while? If you are late to work, you can tell your son because he made you late and you had to work later, you don't have time for "x". That could be cooking dinner, cleaning, whatever you decide. Have him cook dinner. Have him pay for a cleaning service.

[soontobe]

Originally Posted by cvanbrunt

Maybe if you talk to the school and tell them what's happening and your plan to change his behavior, they will help out a be a little flexible a few days.

Maybe the school would let you call in instead of signing him in