This is totally aimed at my child...

[Melaine]

I gotta agree with others, I don't understand why you feel singled out if no one has specified your son and you suspect the other boys play the same way? I personally prefer a group announcement as way of NOT singling anyone out in situations like this.

[elizabethkott]

I dont know... perhaps it's because I see that he can be rough and it's something we're constantly working on at home - we don't blast mommy, daddy, baby Stevie, the dogs, etc... so I'm a little hyper-sensitive, I suppose, simply because I *have* noticed it and because we have been trying to address it, kwim?
I did ask the babysitter this morning, and she assured me that J is by far not the worst offender. DH spoke with him this morning, and he said he'll be more careful.

[arivecchi]

I suspect that the teacher wanted to address several parents if she communicated on the website, but I totally see why that bugs you. I would email the teacher and ask if you can discuss whether your son is behaving that way. I would prefer to be addressed directly as well, rather than via a general message on a website.

[momm]

Originally Posted by elizabethkott

I dont know... perhaps it's because I see that he can be rough and it's something we're constantly working on at home - we don't blast mommy, daddy, baby Stevie, the dogs, etc... so I'm a little hyper-sensitive, I suppose, simply because I *have* noticed it and because we have been trying to address it, kwim?
I did ask the babysitter this morning, and she assured me that J is by far not the worst offender. DH spoke with him this morning, and he said he'll be more careful.

Aw, I'm sorry you're feeling this way.
I can sort of understand. We feel some things are directed at us, because we are more aware of our own "faults", in our quest to improve ourselves. Your feelings just show that you're a great parent trying your best to be even better and are therefore sensitive about such things.
Don't worry and as others pointed out, all kids are in the superhero phase!

[Uno-Mom]

Originally Posted by elizabethkott

I dont know... perhaps it's because I see that he can be rough and it's something we're constantly working on at home - we don't blast mommy, daddy, baby Stevie, the dogs, etc... so I'm a little hyper-sensitive, I suppose, simply because I *have* noticed it and because we have been trying to address it, kwim?
I did ask the babysitter this morning, and she assured me that J is by far not the worst offender. DH spoke with him this morning, and he said he'll be more careful.

I'm glad you're feeling a little better. Know.what? It sounds like you're doing a great job. It's great that you're helping him channel and modulate his energy but not trying tor squash him. Go super-heros!

[sste]

You know, now that I have finally reached preschool nirvana (after some ups and downs at other places) I have developed a bit of an attitude about preschool!

So, what bothers me about this is that the teachers are RIGHT THERE to address the problem. Why aren't they addressing it? What are you going to be able to do about it from home given that most of it is an in the moment thing? The teachers need to explain and enforce the rules for school at school. Kids at that age are absolutely able to understand that a school rule is no rough superhero play. In our current (dream) preschool the teachers are so skilled and awesome that that type of thing would have been very nicely but firmly shut down before it even started and there would have been no need to get to a rule.

Also agree that there is probably a group of boys or all the boys or most of the class. My little boy would certainly join in happily if that was going on!

[Green_Tea]

Originally Posted by sste

So, what bothers me about this is that the teachers are RIGHT THERE to address the problem. Why aren't they addressing it? What are you going to be able to do about it from home given that most of it is an in the moment thing? The teachers need to explain and enforce the rules for school at school. Kids at that age are absolutely able to understand that a school rule is no rough superhero play. In our current (dream) preschool the teachers are so skilled and awesome that that type of thing would have been very nicely but firmly shut down before it even started and there would have been no need to get to a rule.

I think that when there's a pervasive behavior in the classroom that several kids are engaging in, it's completely acceptable - and even smart! - for teachers to ask for the parents to remind their kids about certain school rules at home. I don't think the represents a shortcoming of the teachers at all. They are merely asking parents to work with them as a team to achieve a positive end. If the shoe were on the foot and there was a certain behavior that I was working on eliminating or encouraging, I would hope and expect that my child's teacher would be an ally. It's a two way street.

ETA: I also don't think that just because the teacher mentioned it on the website means they're not addressing it when it happens, just that they're looking for support from parents.

[g-mama]

Originally Posted by Green_Tea

I think that when there's a pervasive behavior in the classroom that several kids are engaging in, it's completely acceptable - and even smart! - for teachers to ask for the parents to remind their kids about certain school rules at home. I don't think the represents a shortcoming of the teachers at all. They are merely asking parents to work with them as a team to achieve a positive end. If the shoe were on the foot and there was a certain behavior that I was working on eliminating or encouraging, I would hope and expect that my child's teacher would be an ally. It's a two way street.

ETA: I also don't think that just because the teacher mentioned it on the website means they're not addressing it when it happens, just that they're looking for support from parents.

It doesn't mean the teachers are not handling it, but they are asking the parents to help them out. Totally understandable and common, in preschool and elementary school. I appreciate being told of any issues going on in the classroom so I can reinforce appropriate behaviors with my own child and so that my child knows I am aware and that he is also accountable to me.

[hellokitty]

Please don't feel that the teacher's post was targeted specifically to you and your son. MOST boys that age, play that way. DS2 is in kindergarten and I have always felt that he was very rough and into the whole gun/shooting thing, but when I see other boys his age, they are all into the same thing, so he is not that odd compared to his peers. Chances are that there are several kids doing it. Yes, your son may be one of them, but rest assured, I bet he is not the only one. Remember too, when kids see other kids playing, "guns," a lot of them will join in on the ruckus.

Last yr, DS1's first grade teacher ended up banning lego for indoor recess temporarily, since there were boys who were using them to make play guns (DS1 was not one of them, but DS2 would have been). Sometimes I think it is the teacher too. This particular teacher has three grown DAUGHTERS. For those with boys, seeing them pretend gun play can be shocking at first, but after a while you accept that this is typical of a lot of pretend play for boys. However, for those who don't have exposure to boys or don't have kids at all, their reaction may be more strong than others to seeing kids pretend play guns. I certainly am not happy about pretend gun play, BUT I also know that it is very common for boys in this age group.

[sste]

I think I am among the lazier of the BB moms but my feeling at this point with two demanding jobs, two kids (one of whom is very intense) is that if the situation can be handled at school then don't bother me with it! Perhaps I am just grumpy and overwhelmed these days. I guess I am also having a hard time envisioning the superhero play of such proportions that a seasoned staff couldn't deal with it - - and usually deal with it before it becomes a problem. Maybe it is a ratio issue - - DS's current prek has kids who all have a year of prek under their belts and three engaged teachers to fifteen kids. I have noticed behavior stuff is harder to address as the class gets bigger.

Perhaps this is just my preschooler but I can explain away and he absolutely understands but it doesn't have a big impact unless it is *in the moment.* Telling him in advance not to do something helps a little bit, discussing it after the fact doesn't tend to help at all. Intercepting him in the moment, at the school, with his peers is what makes a big impression on him.

Anyway OP don't let this get you down!