world's worst housekeeper.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Ugh. I am having one of those days where I just want to hang my head in shame over the state of my house. The worst is when I go to other mom's houses (moms who like me, have little kids who also SAH) and I am proven that it IS possible to have a nice-looking, clean house, I just suck at it apparently. I recently joined a moms group and while it's otherwise been great (getting to meet others, getting out the house), I always leave the playdates feeling somwhat bad and ashamed because their house looks like a page from Architectural Digest, while I know mine looks like crap in comparison.

The worst part is, unlike most other moms, I DO have a ton of help... we have a cleaning service (she comes every 2 weeks and cleans the whole house). I even have a nanny who comes two mornings a week to help with the kids. My husband (unlike most, it seems) actually helps a TON with the housework (he does the dishes almost every night, takes out the trash, etc). Yet, I guess I just don't have it in me to make my house look nice or even somewhat clean. I don't' have nice art hanging on the walls. None of ours windows have curtains or anything, except for the bedrooms. Shelves aren't decorated at all, we have zero plants, I don't have family photos on the wall or nice quotes. My excuse for not keeping a clean house and having nice decorative stuff is that I have 2 little kids and I can't be bothered to take care of yet another thing, but then, so do other people, yet they seem to manage perfectly fine.

Anyway, just had to get that off my chest. I just feel like such an incapable person because despite colossal amounts of outside help, my house still looks like a tornado took some diapers, a few laundry baskets, and a box of goldfish and tore through everything. I am hosting a playdate at my place in a few weeks and I am totally dreading it because I will be spending at least a week organizing and cleaning and it will still look terrible.

[wellyes]

Right there with you. Totally, even with the helpful husband and cleaning service. I go to other people's houses and I feel like they all are grownups with houses from a TV show. And I somehow, despite being middle aged with a decent income, have a mismatched, not-decorated, sloppy and disheveled house. Where did I do wrong in life?

Truth is, it's just not a priority for me. But I'm jealous of people with a knack for it. And who have the wherewithal to put their energy towards that vs whatever nonsense I spend my time on.

[twowhat?]

Hmmm. All of my friends with little kids have houses that sound like yours. These other moms must live in an alternate universe.

I think you must be missing the whole story...maybe they have their kids in preschool a few mornings a week. Maybe they have a PT nanny. Maybe they WOH so the kids are in daycare and thus can make less mess of the house (this was totally true for us - yes, they still make a mess but when I was a SAHM there was NO getting on top of the mess). Maybe there is a hidden room or basement where all the mess is. Kind of like Monica's secret closet in that one Friends episode.

I think the reason it's bothering you is that you want to be able to do all those things, but can't. One day it'll happen!

[Kymberley]

I can make you feel better in 20 seconds. If you lived nearby, that is. I'm officially The World's Worst Housekeeper. I think I probably have a plaque saying that exact thing in one of these piles of crap around here.

Honestly, don't worry about it. I bet your kids are happy, loved, and taken care of, and that's all that matters. BUT, here's a hug .

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Originally Posted by wellyes

Truth is, it's just not a priority for me. But I'm jealous of people with a knack for it. And who have the wherewithal to put their energy towards that vs whatever nonsense I spend my time on.

wow, you read my mind, these are my thoughts EXACTLY. it's just not a priority for me, but then I often wish it was. I do wish i had a really nice-looking, clean, uncluttered house, but in reality, with a finite number of hours in day, I don't have the energy or desire to spend so much time tidying up. There are about a million other things I'd rather be doing (like browsing the BBB ). I feel bad though that I'm not more disciplined.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Um, I went deranged when it was my turn to host playdates. My family hated me and I was ridiculous. Like know hands and knees with q-tips scrubbing the base of the radiators. Last time I cleaned the radiators like that? That would be the last time I hosted playdates with ds1. You never, ever know just how much work someone might have put into getting ready for you to be there...or how abnormal that amount of work might be!!

Also, some people are just darned good at keeping things clutter free. My good friend has a house that always looks really good but get her talking and you'll find she hasn't changed her sheets in 6 months and there is a spot of dried spit up on the floor for the past 4 months. You wouldn't know about the sheets and you wouldn't notice the spit up or you'd just assume it was new.

Most SAHMs I know barely keep their head above water with housework in at least some areas! Don't worry! Your family will be happier if you just relax and accept that people (hopefully) aren't judging you and your decorating and cleaning skills.

Plus, when all else fails, just chuck the clutter in your room or a spare room and close the door.

[KLD313]

You're not alone. World's biggest slob here. A mess doesn't bother me, I never put anything away and when it gets really bad I call the house cleaner. The last time she was here she had two other people with her and they were here for 3 1/2 hrs. She was begging me to have her come more often. It's not a priority for me either.

I do wish I could be different. I wish every time I have to have someone over I dont have to spend tons of time hiding things that I'll probably never find again but I've always been like this. It's not going to change.

[ett]

Oh I totally understand how you feel. I am definitely the world's worst housekeeper too. I don't understand how others keep their house so clean and clutter free. I've been decluttering for months now and there's still so much stuff around.

[khm]

Oh, I hear ya. I feel like a kid playing dress up, despite my age (older than many neighbors / mom friends). My house is nice, OK-decorated, etc. But, never, ever model-home sparkling. I just can't seem manage that. I HATE how prickly I am about it, too. I KNOW that no one cares, but I'm all flustered about it constantly.

We had friends in our last area that it just didn't matter. I never worried with them. Here, not so much. I love it overall, but I miss that "heh, you are like a sibling to me and I do not care that you got a glimpse of my dirty dishes" type relationship!

[belovedgandp]

Confession that my house is probably like the one you are talking about. But yes, it is something that I enjoy. Plus I had the advantage of living here 5 years without kids, so I've just adjusted some of our living areas as we've had kids. I didn't have to move in, decorate, and do all that with kids.

BUT I do not care what other people's houses look like. I'm a freak when it comes to clutter. Since my kitchen counters are almost always completely clear, people don't seem to notice that the floors haven't been mopped in months. I do have messes that if you know me long enough you will see. I can't pack them away for every visit.

A house has to pretty scuzzy before I'm going to give a second thought for a visit.