Over the shoulder holding only

[flashy09]

I feel kind of sad, she only likes to be held over the shoulder. She likes to hold her head up and watch the world, especially when I am walking around. Other than that she seems to prefer her rock n play, bouncer, activity mat, etc. I guess she really likes stimulation, but I would love to sit and hold her in a cradle position! She will do that when breastfeeding but after that she wants motion and something to look at....I can sit on the couch and put my feet up and prop her against my knees and she likes to look at me and smile and laugh...but no real cuddly holding unless very tired and in a rocking chair(except over the shoulder, but I feel like I have a sack of potatos not a baby!) I can wear her and she will fall asleep for a little bit but when she wakes up she wants out.

Is there anyway to work on this? I am having my husband's family come and they are all going to want to sit and hold her and look at her. Unless she's sleepy, she will squirm or cry. Just accept it or try to get her happy with it? She's generally a happy baby and I interact a lot with her and maybe I have wanting constant entertainment?

[lizzywednesday]

It's possible that it's a stimulation thing, but it's also possible that upright feels better because she's got a wee bit of tummy trouble.

Are you burping her after feeds? I had to burp my DD after feeds or she got horrible gas even though she was exclusively breastfed after I pitched the formula we supplemented with early on. (And if we skipped the gas drops with formula, she was MISERABLE for hours.)

If she didn't burp, bringing her knees up to her belly while she laid on her back usually let her fart, which made for a happier babe all around.

[Ladybug47]

It just sounds like she's very curious about the world, and observant, and active, and those are all great things! I wouldn't worry too much about what happens when company is there -- they will find a way to interact with her and love on her no matter which position she's in.

[BabyBearsMom]

At that age, kids go through phases. She might like to be held like that today, but in 3 days, she will want to be cradled and in 3 more days she won't want you to hold her at all and in 3 more days she will never want to be put down.

[roseyloxs]

Just accept it. My ds was like this as a baby too. Very independent and had no interest in cuddling outside of eating or napping. He is almost 5 now and is much more affectionate. I didn't do anything about it, he just grew up and started to enjoy cuddling.

[Uno-Mom]

Sprog was the same way after about two months old. She did love to be worn all the time, though. We used a sling at that time.

Our theory is that it was conditioned for her. Dh did his 12 weeks FMLA starting when she was 7 weeks old. He injured his back right at that moment! So, he really struggled to lift and hold her. They worked it out where she spend most of her time in her bouncer or swing, partying with daddy but not being held. It was super-fun for both of them but Sprog developed a preference for face-to-face interactions without cuddling vs being cradled in arms all the time.

She was an is 100% well-adjusted and happy. I think even without Dh's injury, she was naturally a curious baby who preferred those kinds of interactions. It's so fun to watch her cuddliness grow as she ages and now she's THINKING it through and wanting that closeness.

I know Maple is tiny but even at a tiny age, Sprog loved being held and looking at picture books. That might be a more cuddly option for visiting family?

[Tondi G]

MY DS1 wanted nothing to do with laying in his back. He wanted to be up over your shoulder or in a football hold facing out swaying. He hated the swing and the bouncy chair. He loved being in a Baby Bjorn carrier, but facing out. We ended up breaking out his exersaucer early and propping him in the seat with blankets etc. cause he loved being upright ... feet touching the floor and watching the busy-ness of the house. He didn't even like being in a stroller that wasn't upright ... He hated the stroller until we bought a Pliko cause the seat was upright.

Some babies just don't want to be laying on their back. They want to see the world coming at them and to interact with people holding them.

[MommyAllison]

My kids have all been the same - after the first few sleepy weeks they only wanted to be cradled when nursing. DD2's current favorites are to be sitting on our knees, looking at us, sitting on our laps looking out, laying on our laps with feet on our stomachs & her head on our knees, or up over the shoulder. She loves to lay on the floor and wiggle around, too. Just part of growing up, IMO.

[barkley1]

Both my babies liked to "ride high", as I called it, on your shoulder. I would just accept it and tell your family her preference. Then they can choose...crying baby they can see or happy baby they can't...lol!