so confusing...any help or perspective please? (long? sorry)

[Mopey]

Hey guys,

Miss Mopey has a pattern. After she eats (boob, then bottle) she might be calm, looking around and sweet, for about 10 to maybe 20 minutes (though that's pushing it). Then she starts fussing! And the fussing turns to screaming even if I change her wet diaper and swaddle her (which she loves). We are both pretty good at calming her with different techniques but with me it seems she always wants the boob. And lately it takes a few tries to get her down for naps. I am guessing I need to consider a pacifier soon.

But my main confusion is that she has such small periods of being happily calm.....she will be four weeks tomorrow and I just don't know if that's normal? She'll be calm while I hold her, walking around doing things, but it is inevitably because she is falling asleep after eating. I really don't mean to be annoying or sound crazy but I wish she had more calm time so we could do tummy time, books and/or snuggling. When she fusses she seems to be happiest being held while the person is up & moving around (though my hubby rocks the shushing and swishing and it works).

Any btdt? Am I just a jerk and she's too little?

Would love any perspective. Thanks so much as always you guys. I really, really appreciate it.

[edurnemk]

It's totally normal, when we went in for DS's 2 weeks check up, his Ped (also a mom) told me: "'he's going to start being really fussy and crying for no reason from now until about 8 weeks" and then she told me to get the Happiest Baby on the Block book or DVD. Best rec ever. The book really goes into why it's normal for them to be like that, they're adjusting to a new world and not very mature neurologically. The 5 S's technique is what kept us sane those first 2 months. And it will get better, I promise, and you'll have lots of time for tummy time, and everything else.

[Giantbear]

Is she 100% breast milk or is the bottle formula? If formula, maybe try the sensitive formula, my dd had issues with the regular formula. Otherwise, it sounds normal. My dd the first summer was only happy outside between the hours of 5 and 8. I would take her for long walks after work in 95 degree temps, only thing that stopped her crying. I, too, am a big believer in the 4th trimester theory

[smiles33]

I recall both DDs were glued to the boob those first few weeks. I tried everything you did, so it wasn't like I just left DD1 or DD2 on the boob the whole time. However, when they fussed, nothing else calmed them down but the boob most times. I remember thinking I was never going to be able to do anything for the rest of my maternity leave!

I also second-guessed myself as my mom and MIL kept saying, "She can't be hungry again?" every time they saw me nursing. My mom was worse about it, insinuating I didn't have enough breastmilk and should surely offer a bottle of formula so they wouldn't fuss so much.

TRUST your instincts. There are also "growth spurts" when they feed more than normal to stimulate your breasts to produce more milk. So I figured it wasn't an issue to be a human pacifier those first 6-8 weeks.

[Mopey]

We are definite devotees of Happiest Baby! Sucking seems to be a big thing for her but I don't want to confuse her too much with a third thing to suck at this point. I am trying to hold off on the pacifier for a bit longer but it's plainly obvious that's one of the S's that works on her (swaddling and shushing too, sometimes swinging & side) so I give her the boob. She gets breast milk and formula. The formula doesn't bother her as this fussing is new. We switched nipples and she barely spits up anymore.

Thanks for the reassurance guys!!

[BDKmom]

I think that 4-8 week range is the toughest. The sleep deprivation is starting to catch up to you, the baby is more alert, which in a lot of cases makes things worse, because their little nervous systems aren't developed enough to handle the stimulation. The snuggling/reading/tummy time stuff will be much easier and more fun for you both starting around the 12 week mark. Until then, to me, it's all about survival mode. If she likes walking around, do that. If she wants to sleep while you hold her, do that.

To me the hardest part of being a first time mom is that you think this phase is never going to end, or that you are doing something wrong. Take it from those of us who have been there, it will get better over the next few weeks. Just when you think you can't take it anymore

All of that is not to say that there aren't some techniques that help. I haven't made it all the way through HBOTB, but everyone seems to swear by it, so I'm reading it in anticipation of going through all of this again when DD gets here. And I'm sure others will have some great suggestions.

Hang in there! And vent to us here anytime!

[KrisM]

I also agree that's so of the hardest time and it should get better after she's 6-8 weeks old. Plus, they hit growth spurts and nurse non-stop at times, so it could be that.

[Mopey]

I love all this info - thank you! Good to have an idea of what's what. I know she is a good baby - there have only been two moments of exasperation - her little face is so cute it helps make it all easier. And she actually sleeps between 3 and 5 hours when she goes down so I know we are lucky

Originally Posted by BDKmom

All of that is not to say that there aren't some techniques that help. I haven't made it all the way through HBOTB, but everyone seems to swear by it, so I'm reading it in anticipation of going through all of this again when DD gets here. And I'm sure others will have some great suggestions.

BDK! I don't know about the book but my friend gave me the video - it is 30 minutes, so interesting and clear, great to see the actual action of things (like the swaddle), and has some calming sounds at the end. We actually used the 30 minute womb sound for the first time the other night and she zonked out. I highly recommend! My hubby thinks it's already saved us hours of sleep (especially since he doesn't have the boobs )

[BDKmom]

Originally Posted by Mopey

BDK! I don't know about the book but my friend gave me the video - it is 30 minutes, so interesting and clear, great to see the actual action of things (like the swaddle), and has some calming sounds at the end. We actually used the 30 minute womb sound for the first time the other night and she zonked out. I highly recommend! My hubby thinks it's already saved us hours of sleep (especially since he doesn't have the boobs )

I didn't know the DVD was that short, I'll have to check it out. So far the book has been a good refresher course in what is actually going on with their little bodies. With DS, I used a few strategies based on recommendations in my breast feeding class, but definitely decided to read/learn the whole concept and strategy this time around. Glad it has been helpful for you. Hang in there!

[Liziz]

Well, DD is 8 weeks so we're barely ahead of you, and I don't know what's normal or not....but I can say that what you describe sounds exactly like my little one! So, either it's normal or we both have abnormal babies! : )

And since you mentioned the pacifier thing...I gave in to giving one to DD when she was 3 weeks old, after doing a search on this board and reading a bunch of posts about it. I haven't regretted it once!