so confusing...any help or perspective please? (long? sorry)

[lizzywednesday]

My DD was like that, so I ended up wearing her in a woven wrap so I could get stuff done. My wrap is an EllaRoo brand, but you might also like Wrapsody gauze wraps (now that it's warmer in our part of the world ... happy April!) or a Didymos.

Another suggestion would be a linen mei tei or ring sling ... I'm up to my eyeballs in warm weather babywearing suggestions right now with my babywearing group.

There's a group that meets in Central Park that might be a good fit for you; they're called the Carry On Baby Babywearers. Their FB page is: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Carry...21595484524104

You're not doing anything "wrong" and Miss Mopey will be just fine if you snuggle with her a bit more. FWIW, wearing your baby "counts" toward tummy time.

[Katigre]

Originally Posted by Mopey

Hey guys,

Miss Mopey has a pattern. After she eats (boob, then bottle) she might be calm, looking around and sweet, for about 10 to maybe 20 minutes (though that's pushing it). Then she starts fussing! And the fussing turns to screaming even if I change her wet diaper and swaddle her (which she loves). We are both pretty good at calming her with different techniques but with me it seems she always wants the boob. And lately it takes a few tries to get her down for naps. I am guessing I need to consider a pacifier soon.

But my main confusion is that she has such small periods of being happily calm.....she will be four weeks tomorrow and I just don't know if that's normal? She'll be calm while I hold her, walking around doing things, but it is inevitably because she is falling asleep after eating. I really don't mean to be annoying or sound crazy but I wish she had more calm time so we could do tummy time, books and/or snuggling. When she fusses she seems to be happiest being held while the person is up & moving around (though my hubby rocks the shushing and swishing and it works).

Any btdt? Am I just a jerk and she's too little?

Would love any perspective. Thanks so much as always you guys. I really, really appreciate it.

1. She's tired - her 'window of being awake' is very VERY short at her age and she's showing you that she needs to rest and dial down. This period of awakeness will extend more as she gets older.

2. At her age she is too young for books or the other things you mention - what she needs most is physical touch/being held/motion to sooth her vestibular system.

I would google '4th trimester' and have that reassure you . Once she's 3ish months old things will REALLY change and she'll get interested in more than just boob/hold me/sleep/move around. No need to rush it. The physical touch right now is the most important for her cognitive/emotional development.

ETA: 3. Get a good baby carrier and wear her a good portion of the day - this counts as tummy time if she's upright against your chest, it prevents flat head, it will make her VERY happy b.c she'll hear your heartbeat and smell that 'mommy smell' (or 'daddy smell' if he's wearing her) and you will get a lot more done.

[mmommy]

This is the age with DD1 when DH turned to me and said "I think she has colic!" Nope, she's just a baby! There's a chance something is upsetting her stomach, but much more likely is she's being a tiny baby and needing the usual things for soothing. Motion tends to work well for most kids this age, so I second the idea for wearing her around in a wrap or sling while you get a little walk or some tasks done around the house.

[Liziz]

Sorry to hijack, but.... wearing your baby upright counts as tummy time???

I'm so excited, I never knew that....I wear DD for hours every day right now, but didn't realize it counted for tummy time. Does it count only if she's awake and moving her head around? Or does it still count even if she's napping with her head against my chest?

(And Mopey...I agree with the PPs...it's the *best* way to soothe my fussy baby these days!)

[Katigre]

Originally Posted by Liziz

Sorry to hijack, but.... wearing your baby upright counts as tummy time???

I'm so excited, I never knew that....I wear DD for hours every day right now, but didn't realize it counted for tummy time. Does it count only if she's awake and moving her head around? Or does it still count even if she's napping with her head against my chest?

(And Mopey...I agree with the PPs...it's the *best* way to soothe my fussy baby these days!)

Yes, b/c they still have to use their core muscles somewhat (as they get older the hip carry is the best for this - and as they start to hold their head up it counts even more). HOlding in a carrier tummy-to-tummy also protects their head from flat spots.

[Liziz]

Thanks for the info!

[Uno-Mom]

I think it's normal. And you are NOT a jerk for wishing otherwise.

Another big vote for babywearing. I know it's not for everyone but it got us through that phase.

[AustenFan]

Re: pacifiers, my first pediatrician (whom I adored) told me when DS was in for his 1 week check (and fussing just 15 min after nursing!) that "he might just have a need to suck" and handed me a paci. He took to it and calmed right down. He nursed for 12.5 months and used the paci off and on until he weaned himself of it at 10 months. I introduced pacis to both my girls right away in the hospital, and they both just lost interest by 2-3 months, preferring their thumbs (they also nursed for 11 months and 10 months, respectively). So in my own experience, pacis haven't caused any nipple confusion or feeding problems. I definitely had this first-time-mom thing against pacis, but not anymore.

Don't know if you have some medical reason to hold off on the paci, but I'd say go for it.

Also respectfully disagree with PP on it being too early for books, tummy time, and snuggling. We start all three from day 1. But totally agree that her windows of awake time may be very, very short. My babies slept 20+ hours in those first few weeks, so after feeding, you might read her one book and sing a couple songs while she snuggles tummy to tummy on you before it's nap time again! She sounds like a good little sleeper--I think I'd heard so many horror stories from friends with poor sleepers that I wasn't prepared for mine to need as much sleep as they did. She sounds very normal to me.

[citymama]

Originally Posted by smiles33

I recall both DDs were glued to the boob those first few weeks. I tried everything you did, so it wasn't like I just left DD1 or DD2 on the boob the whole time. However, when they fussed, nothing else calmed them down but the boob most times. I remember thinking I was never going to be able to do anything for the rest of my maternity leave!

I also second-guessed myself as my mom and MIL kept saying, "She can't be hungry again?" every time they saw me nursing. My mom was worse about it, insinuating I didn't have enough breastmilk and should surely offer a bottle of formula so they wouldn't fuss so much.

TRUST your instincts. There are also "growth spurts" when they feed more than normal to stimulate your breasts to produce more milk. So I figured it wasn't an issue to be a human pacifier those first 6-8 weeks.

Ditto! She is 4 weeks old, just brand new in this world. Even though 4 weeks seems like a long time for you, given how much your life has changed, she is really still a newborn. ITA with the comments above, and had the same experience with both kids. I think with DD1 we tried more "techniques" to deal with the fussiness, thinking "she couldn't need to nurse again!." With DD2, I just gave her the boob and she was happy! I don't think there's any correlation, but DD2 is the mellowest kid ever and DD1 is still high-maintenance! If you aren't totally exhausted, let her nurse; grab a book, and just roll with enjoy the new baby nursing needs. I agree with the others that babywearing in a sling or wrap is another great trick to have up your sleeve, but IME, at that age, it only worked if you were willing to walk around a lot.

BTW, why is she doing boob followed by bottle each time? Just curious.

[theriviera]

Originally Posted by Katigre

1. She's tired - her 'window of being awake' is very VERY short at her age and she's showing you that she needs to rest and dial down. This period of awakeness will extend more as she gets older.

I agree with all of the PP suggestions, but this is worth repeating. For a little baby, nursing and a diaper change are pretty much the most they can handle before needing to sleep again. I know it seems crazy but her awake time will lengthen quickly. For now, I would nurse her, change her diaper, and then try and get her to sleep, either by holding her, going for a walk, or putting her down.