What would you do? (Long) **UPDATE #19

[HannaAddict]

Originally Posted by khm

Ya know what, she WANTS and EXPECTS drama / letters / pleading. She wants that very, very much.

I think it'll drive her insane if you let it drop. She is trying to start a scene and have a reason to go toe to toe with her stepkids.

Cheerily go along your way and start the China Hunt tradition with your family.

If someday you end up with the original China, it'll be icing on the cake but you'll have used your memories with your mom to start new memories with your own family.

Memories trump things every day of the week.

I get you livid you are, I am livid for you!! But, you are totally right in just trying to let it go. You aren't letting her win, you are winning by not engaging teh crazy.

I agree with this completely. You won't win this battle, your dad is married to her now, for better or for worse, he isn't going to make his daily life a living hell (any more than it is!) and stand up for you. She should happily give you the china, it isn't right, but she does not care one bit what it means to you and I think would enjoy the drama and control she is exerting. Your mom wouldn't want the memories to be tainted by a battle you can't win or strife and heartache for you and your sister. I am so sorry. I lost my mom and I have had a couple of step-monsters (unrelated to my mom's premature death) so I really do know where you are coming from. I would spend $300 (retail price you linked to or find it on ebay) and buy eight place settings and then start the china hunt with your kids for the extra pieces, the serving pieces, etc. Enjoy the tradition, enjoy showing the kids the china that you grew up with and using it all the time over the holidays. Don't let your step-monster or dad see you sweat, have them over for dinner with your lovely china and remember your mom and the good times you had with her. It is super hard I know, it isn't fair or right, but living well really is the best revenge versus letting her know she is causing you hurt and pain. It will drive her nuts that you have moved on and don't care a bit if she keeps the actual china. She can't take the memories or every replace your mom in your dad's heart either. Hugs.

[inmypjs]

Originally Posted by niccig

Am I the only one now thinking of donning a ninja outfit and scaling the wall of Corie's Dad's house and carrying away boxes of fine china?

I was having similar sinister thoughts - though my plan involved tracking down the same china at Replacements or Ebay then secretly swapping it out!

[eagle]

Originally Posted by HannaAddict

I agree with this completely. You won't win this battle, your dad is married to her now, for better or for worse, he isn't going to make his daily life a living hell (any more than it is!) and stand up for you. She should happily give you the china, it isn't right, but she does not care one bit what it means to you and I think would enjoy the drama and control she is exerting. Your mom wouldn't want the memories to be tainted by a battle you can't win or strife and heartache for you and your sister. I am so sorry. I lost my mom and I have had a couple of step-monsters (unrelated to my mom's premature death) so I really do know where you are coming from. I would spend $300 (retail price you linked to or find it on ebay) and buy eight place settings and then start the china hunt with your kids for the extra pieces, the serving pieces, etc. Enjoy the tradition, enjoy showing the kids the china that you grew up with and using it all the time over the holidays. Don't let your step-monster or dad see you sweat, have them over for dinner with your lovely china and remember your mom and the good times you had with her. It is super hard I know, it isn't fair or right, but living well really is the best revenge versus letting her know she is causing you hurt and pain. It will drive her nuts that you have moved on and don't care a bit if she keeps the actual china. She can't take the memories or every replace your mom in your dad's heart either. Hugs.

so beautifully said. amen.

[Kungjo]

I sure hope that you and your siblings get to keep the china, after your dad wills it to you. Hopefully she won't hide it to be spiteful. I think that it's petty for her to keep something that has such tremendous sentimental value for you and your siblings.

Do you think that she would be open to the idea of you buying her another set if she would turn over the china to you now? Not the best way to do it, but if it means that much to you, I would try that. Better that than to not get it at all. GL