What would you do? (Long) **UPDATE #19

[kijip]

Originally Posted by codex57

What's to say he doesn't hold it dear as well?

That he said he would give it to Corie before he said no. It was not a big deal and then is was...sounds like his wife wants to keep it.

[cntrymoon2]

What a monster!!! I'm so sorry

[crl]

If they won't go for you offering to replace the set, I do like the idea of offering to split the set. Maybe you could ask for the serving dishes and offer to replace them with new pieces? I just wonder if you talk with both of them and offer a few different alternatives that might address any of the issues they have raised, maybe you can win them over (even if it just due to embarrassment at being seen to be so unreasonable).

Catherine

[Binkandabee]

That's a really tough thing to go through. My Dad passed away coming up on 5 years ago and to this day I still do not have one thing of his. Not a single thing. My stepmom promises the moon, but then when it's time to actually send us something it mysteriously disappears or it was already donated. I really want his teddy bear from when he was a kid and she won't hand it over. I'd also like my grandfather's military uniform...donated to goodwill. His coin collection? Stolen when she was in the hospital. The worst part is that my Dad was only married to her for 7 years and she still wont' give us anything.

If I were you, and if you think you can without further hurt feelings, I'd keep pushing the issue. After your Dad is gone, you won't see that China ever again. I'd push to make sure your Dad puts it in his will like he says he will, or push for him to give it to you.

[blisstwins]

This just makes me so sad. There are so many lovely ways to resolve this and your father and stepmother just seem deeply insensitive in ways I cannot imagine. I wish you the best of luck getting that china and think that offering to buy new is probably your best bet. Really, if I were your stepmother I would not want to used this cherished set of my husband's wife...I would want new dishes. She sounds really awful. I would keep working on my father. Suggest he keep some parts of it and that you buy new ones for them to used at their party. Good luck with this. So sorry.

[niccig]

Originally Posted by Corie

DH said he would steal everything for me.

Am I the only one now thinking of donning a ninja outfit and scaling the wall of Corie's Dad's house and carrying away boxes of fine china?

[citymama]

Dear Stepmonster,
Karma's a bitch and you will get your comeuppance one day.

Oh wait. *You're* the bitch.

Give Corie back her mom's china or the wrath of BBB will be upon you!!!

Signed,
Citymama

[roseyloxs]

While I am generally against stealing I think I might let my DH steal it for me.

I do also like the idea of offering to buy the china. Would your Dad be willing to go with you this year on Dec 26th and pick out something new for them to use? Maybe you can split the cost of the new china and he can gift the old china to you?

[Corie]

Originally Posted by kijip

That he said he would give it to Corie before he said no. It was not a big deal and then is was...sounds like his wife wants to keep it.

This is what I think happened. I think he got off the phone and told
stepmom that they need to get the Christmas china to bring to me.

And then I think she flipped out like she normally does.

Then I get a phone call later saying my Dad wants to keep it.

[khm]

Originally Posted by Corie

This is what I think happened. I think he got off the phone and told
stepmom that they need to get the Christmas china to bring to me.

And then I think she flipped out like she normally does.

Then I get a phone call later saying my Dad wants to keep it.

Can you appeal to her as a daughter? Ask her to step into your shoes, a step-parent (well, and an insensitive parent) is keeping her from some treasured memories so she can use them at a party??.......

I'm guessing not, but man, that's just harsh. I'm honestly sure she's dug her heels in DEEP for whatever reason. I don't think there is a way in the world she's going to see the error of her ways.

Is your dad a pushover? I can't believe he's party to this.