Getting kids moving in the mornings

[Dr C]

Wow... it really does sound like you have tried everything.

I only have one suggestion that I haven't seen above--we have had pretty good luck getting DS (my sleepyhead) motivated in the AM's--I set a timer for him (or now that he can tell time I just tell him what time he has to be downstairs) and if he can be there in the allotted time he gets sprinkles on his cereal... now I'm sure you could find a healthier reward, but for DS that little bit of artificial color and HFCS goes a long way!

A corollary to this suggestion would be to give a reward (food or non food, but should be immediate) contingent upon completing all the items on a chore chart within a certain number of minutes. If you give a reward that can be made smaller you can then "dock" them if they get in trouble (e.g. you get 5 m&m's for finishing your chores by the allotted time, but if you fight with your sister, you only get 4). You could also give a bigger reward for being faster and a smaller reward if slower but still acceptable (e.g. ready by 7:30 gets 5 m&m's, ready by 7:35 gets 3, ready by 7:40 gets 1, and after 7:40 you don't get diddly-squat). For this system to work, though, you have to stand back and be ready to have them lose the reward a couple of times and endure the ensuing tantrums. They may go to school in their PJ's with teeth unbrushed. They can have breakfast in the car. That's ok!

Perhaps you could have them pick out clothes the night before, and then remind them that they may choose different clothes in the AM, but they will lose their reward. I also really love the idea of having them sleep in their clothes.

Finally, I really like the ideas PP's have proposed about separating them in the AM's. Would it be possible for them to sleep in separate bedrooms? This is another place where a mother's helper would come in--they could feed DD1 while you get DD2 dressed, then switch.

Good luck! I'm so sorry this has been so rough for you!

[twowhat?]

Originally Posted by roseyloxs

Do you have any tweens or teenagers in the neighborhood looking to earn some extra money this summer. You could hire someone as a mother's helper just for that morning hour. If you can find someone who can cook that would be even more awesome since you said the girls like to fill up at breakfast time.

Hmmm...maybe I could get one of their teachers to agree to show up one morning and say they were just checking in to make sure they were cooperating and getting ready for school...LOLOLOL. That's a funny thought. But this is an idea. And maybe it would only take one time for the girls to decide that they'll cooperate in the morning because they don't want someone else helping (they are VERY VERY stranger-phobic).

Races - yes, tried this and the outcome is really hilarious (well, sort of) - DD2 has a complete and immediate meltdown at the exact instance that she knows she's going to lose the race. Races DID work for them when they were a little younger but now it's just a recipe for disaster hahahahaha.

With getting dressed, they actually used to get dressed downstairs and I had to move it upstairs so that I could say "we can't go downstairs and get breakfast until you are dressed". But - maybe I can threaten them with having to go to school in their pajamas?

Sleeping - they sleep great together! Which is why I'm reluctant to move them to separate rooms. They are comforted by each other's presence (I have never had to go in to comfort anyone during a thunderstorm) and they talk to each other before going to sleep. I thought briefly about moving them to their own rooms but I think that I'd be breaking more than I'm fixing, if that makes sense.

Getting DD1 up first - yes, I've tried that and the result is DD2 throws a tantrum so while I'm OK with her throwing a tantrum it just doesn't save me any time. I do like that child of the day idea from the other thread - maybe I could make it work with the chore chart and the child of the day concept?

What do you all think about the responsibility chart for this age? I think it might work and I need to put it together. I think part of the problem is that I have not found their currency. Threats don't typically work - they don't seem to be able to think far enough ahead for me to be able to use "no TV time after school if you take too long in the morning" - they completely understand it but it doesn't motivate them. Positive reinforcement might be better so I will try the chart and stickers.

I do agree with a PP who asked how long I tried each method that maybe I am simply not consistent enough. Every time I try something new, I try for a couple of weeks and then I throw in the towel. Maybe I need to find a way to suck it up and stick it out for longer.

And then there are mornings like this, where they have their clothes all picked out and are in the process of putting them on when DH comes in and says "it's too hot to wear long sleeves - you have to pick something else" after I had already negotiated with them that they could wear long sleeves if they wanted as long as they chose shorts to wear on bottom. I know it's not his fault that he didn't see what led up to their choice of picking long-sleeve shirts but OMG I wanted to wring his neck right at that point! LOLOL. And yes, I need to put the long-sleeved stuff away.

[HIU8]

I didn't see in your post, but do your girls pick out their clothes the night before or in the morning? I've found that picking out clothes the night before (and allowing my kids to do it with minimal help from me) works best for them. In the morning though, they must wear what they picked out and cannot change their minds (or they loose a privilege). My kids hate to lose privileges (TV, waterballoons, sprinkler--summer fun stuff right now).

[infocrazy]

Wait, DH is home? I assumed he left early for work. Can you each take a kid, in separate rooms, and get them dressed/ready so they only see each other separate sides of the breakfast table?

[twowhat?]

Originally Posted by infocrazy

Wait, DH is home? I assumed he left early for work. Can you each take a kid, in separate rooms, and get them dressed/ready so they only see each other separate sides of the breakfast table?

He was home this morning but he usually is on his way out the door as the girls are coming downstairs. And honestly - I'd rather not have his help and I encourage (shoo) him out the door in the mornings He's very high-strung and when he tries to deal with any part of the morning routine it, well, doesn't help me out at all IYKWIM

[wellyes]

I'm sure you've tried this but in the spirit of brainstorming.... have you tried NOT mediating their arguments at all?

Mine are 2 and 4. My rule is, unless someone is in danger or breaking a safety rle, I don't want to hear about what they're arguing about. I just say "Don't tell me, tell him". They have to figure out sharing and taking turns. What ends up happening isn't always the fair solution, but it is what they agree to. This is my bastardization of "Siblings Without Rivalry" and it really, really helps. They actually just started sharing a room, because they both really want to now. It's not just cut down on arguments, it's made them closer.

[twowhat?]

Originally Posted by wellyes

I'm sure you've tried this but in the spirit of brainstorming.... have you tried NOT mediating their arguments at all?

Mine are 2 and 4. My rule is, unless someone is in danger or breaking a safety rle, I don't want to hear about what they're arguing about. I just say "Don't tell me, tell him". They have to figure out sharing and taking turns. What ends up happening isn't always the fair solution, but it is what they agree to. This is my bastardization of "Siblings Without Rivalry" and it really, really helps. They actually just started sharing a room, because they both really want to now. It's not just cut down on arguments, it's made them closer.

I have done exactly this - but just not in the mornings when I'm feeling the pressure as well, LOL! I will definitely try this in the morning. I use a very similar phrase as well: "Why are you telling me? Talk to your sister and figure out a solution."

[gatorsmom]

Originally Posted by twowhat?

I have done exactly this - but just not in the mornings when I'm feeling the pressure as well, LOL! I will definitely try this in the morning. I use a very similar phrase as well: "Why are you telling me? Talk to your sister and figure out a solution."

I've tried this and my twins hurt each other. Our twins' arguments quickly escalate into hitting and scratching.

I was going to suggest that in an effort to dress the twins separately, you get all the clothes and everything you need to a different room then carry the easy-going twin to that room to dress first and separately from the difficult twin. I'd pick up the easy twin out of bed while she is sleeping and carry her into the other room before she wakes the other one. Get her dressed and sit her down to breakfast and THEN get the other twin ready. I used to have the TV going while I dressed the kids because as they were waking up they'd zone in on the tv and not pay attention to what clothes I was putting on them.

I'm also a big fan of protein bars or homemade granola bars for breakfast in the car. You gotta do what you gotta do to maintain your sanity.

[hillview]

Originally Posted by gatorsmom

I've tried this and my twins hurt each other. Our twins' arguments quickly escalate into hitting and scratching.