Am I really going to leave dd RF till the limits of her seat?

[doberbrat]

DD is 26mo, tall & thin 36in tall, 28lbs

She’s still rf in her blvd/marathon (we have one of each). She’s been FF 2x in my friends car. She has a small sedan, puts the car seats ff – fine whatever, they’ve driven about 2mi each time.

But now, dd is asking for “Amy’s car seat”. I think she’s starting to realize that her friends are FF and it’s a little more fun.

I’m thinking about keeping her RF another 6mo or so and calling it good. At the rate she’s growing, she could easily be 3 or 4 before she reaches the limits for the Britax. Her little legs are getting a little cramped in the seat now. She asks to get out of the car once she’s been in it over an hour.

The reason why I’m asking, is DH needs a new car. Maybe by Jan if his current one fails emissions inspection. He wants a 2d coupe. Its be a huge PIA to put dd in a seat RF in that car. –I think it’d be annoying FF too but that’s not MY problem!

I nixed it last year when he was thinking about it but am thinking about saying ‘ok’ this time since he’s wanted this car for a LONG time.

[Joolsplus2]

At least get through winter, maybe? I think it helps to set little goals... and ff in a secondary car isn't so bad, most kids can go back and forth between cars with no problems. You'll just have to take it one day at a time (and think..."What if THIS is the trip where we get in a horrible crash? How would I want everyone in the car restrained on THIS trip?"... that gets me to do whats safEST even if it's more troublesome, sometimes...

26 months is awesome, though! I wish our seats were nice and roomy like those giant swedish seats so kids have legroom up to age 5+...

[o_mom]

DS2 is 32 months and 28 lbs. He is still RF in our van, but rides FF in DH's car and has for about 4 months, maybe 1-2 times/month. I worry less because he is older, can ride center, and has side curtain airbags in that car. I will probably keep him RF at least until he starts preschool in the fall and then reassess how well it works for pickups (unless he gets to 33 lbs before then).

Maybe you can just do FF in Dh's car and make sure he gets good safety features on the car - stability control, side airbags, center seating position in the back with top tether etc. Make sure you use the top tether FF as it really improves the safety.

If your primary vehicle is a van or an SUV with captain's chairs/reclining seatbacks, you can recline the vehicle seatback to give her more leg room. That has helped tremendously for DS2. I also show him how to rearrange his legs - out to the sides, criss-cross, etc and we have the seat very upright to keep him comfortable.

[1964pandora]

I hear you, Doberbrat! My son is 3 years, 2 months old and 37 inches 29 pounds. We have quite a way to go until we reach out rear facing limit. Basically, we're in the same boat as you are. There are days when I am extremely grateful that we will be able to keep him rear facing for so long, and days when I am frustrated because his legs are clearly bunched up and it can be difficult to put him in the seat. I do what others have suggested. I set new goals. The current goal is 3 and a half. I know I'll set another goal after that. I know I won't be happy with myself if I don't make it to the rear facing limits of his seat. Maybe it's my competitive nature-- I want to finish the race! I often take his shoes off, because that appears to make a big difference in his comfort. I tell myself that his spine still needs time to mature and that I am doing what's in his best interests. I hear your frustration. Take a month at a time!

[doberbrat]

Well, I’m concerned about her getting ‘used’ to riding ff in 1 car and rf in the other and refusing it.

But, oh yeah, top tethers….. I have semi-permanent kennels installed in the back of my van. And I cant recline her seat b/c of the kennels as well.

The tethers are under the kennel installation so that wont work. I guess she’ll be RF awhile longer unless I can convince my mechanic to install additional tethers at the roofline?

Thanks everyone!

[Joolsplus2]

I'm serious, my dd was FF from 16-36 months, then 'mostly' rf till 4.5... including sometimes being in a booster. They don't really expect much different if you treat it matter of factly...they just do what mama says :) (might want to contact www.ezonpro.com for a heavy duty anchor that can be installed in another position...it's somewhat unlikely you can get that done, but if it's possible, that'd be the anchor hardware *I'd* want).

[mom2binsd]

Last summer my DD who was 3 1/2 was RF on a 1800 mile car trip- never a complaint, she just watched her video's and slept....which is so much easier for them RF...I did get quite a few questions at her preschool too as to why she was still RF...but then again this year she is the only 4 year old not in a booster in her class (and most of them in backless ones-I cringe but stay quiet, if they ask I'll happily let them know the safety benefits of 5pt harnessing). SO you may be surprised how much longer you can go and like many of us will be sad when you hit that weight limit and have to FF.

Beth

[Davids-Coco]

She asks to get out of the car once she’s been in it over an hour.

I think that this is key. Yes, it is safer to keep her RF as long as possible. But if she reaches a point where she is not only asking, but screaming and that distracts you from driving... well, having a screaming child makes your driving a little more distracted which makes you more likely to get into an accident anyway.

I am sure there are plenty of people out there that can keep their child RF longer or will tell you that it is possible. The reality is that you have to do what is working for your DC first and foremost. If she is uncomfortable or making driving hard, then you need to decide which is the lesser of the two evils (so to speak).

[o_mom]

I think that this is key. Yes, it is safer to keep her RF as long as possible. But if she reaches a point where she is not only asking, but screaming and that distracts you from driving... well, having a screaming child makes your driving a little more distracted which makes you more likely to get into an accident anyway.

I am sure there are plenty of people out there that can keep their child RF longer or will tell you that it is possible. The reality is that you have to do what is working for your DC first and foremost. If she is uncomfortable or making driving hard, then you need to decide which is the lesser of the two evils (so to speak).

The OP said that she "asks" to get out. Not that she is screaming or anything else. My 4 yo asks to get out after an hour and he is FF, should I just let him wander the van while we drive?

[o_mom]

Well, I’m concerned about her getting ‘used’ to riding ff in 1 car and rf in the other and refusing it.

But, oh yeah, top tethers….. I have semi-permanent kennels installed in the back of my van. And I cant recline her seat b/c of the kennels as well.

The tethers are under the kennel installation so that wont work. I guess she’ll be RF awhile longer unless I can convince my mechanic to install additional tethers at the roofline?

Thanks everyone!

DS1 had a hard time switching back and forth when he was younger (DH's car was a complete PITA for RF so I tried him FF before I knew better), but by 26 months he could go between with no trouble. DS2 hasn't had any problems switching back and forth either from about 28 months on.

Without top tethers, I would encourage RF longer (which it sounds like you are going to do). I think setting small goals helps, as people have said. Right now I am telling myself that I can get to 3, then I'll look to preschool start, etc.

[Davids-Coco]

The OP said that she "asks" to get out. Not that she is screaming or anything else. My 4 yo asks to get out after an hour and he is FF, should I just let him wander the van while we drive?

Please re-read my post... (bold added)


But if she reaches a point where she is not only asking, but screaming and that distracts you from driving...

The key word is "IF". Its about assessing the situation as it changes and how much your child will handle. I do think it is a bit outlandish to take it as far as to say I am suggesting anything unsafe, such as wandering around your van. There is a serious difference between forward facing and unrestrained.

[o_mom]

Please re-read my post... (bold added)

The key word is "IF". Its about assessing the situation as it changes and how much your child will handle. I do think it is a bit outlandish to take it as far as to say I am suggesting anything unsafe, such as wandering around your van. There is a serious difference between forward facing and unrestrained.

It just felt like you were projecting a sitution that wasn't there. IF the OP's child was screaming and distracting her, I would think she would have mentioned it. OTOH, what she said is that her child asks to get out after an hour, which, IMO, is probably more a function of increased verbal and observational skills rather than some sudden discomfort with RF.

[Davids-Coco]

It just felt like you were projecting a sitution that wasn't there. IF the OP's child was screaming and distracting her, I would think she would have mentioned it. OTOH, what she said is that her child asks to get out after an hour, which, IMO, is probably more a function of increased verbal and observational skills rather than some sudden discomfort with RF.

I was expressing an opinion of WHEN the situation would reach the point where I would think switching would be warranted. That is all.

[babysophia]

I really wanted to RF as long as possible with my first DD. But, I turned her around at 1 year because the screaming was unbearable. It didn't matter whether or not the car ride was 5 minutes or 3 hours, she would be screaming the entire time, and she would not fall asleep. I spent every car ride with my body twisted so I could try and hold her hand or give her a bottle or snack while driving. I sang songs nonstop. I put up mirrors. When I turned her around (and she was fortunately very large at 26lbs), the screaming stopped. And car rides have been pleasant (and I believe safer) for everyone since.

Susan

[doberbrat]

Actually we're getting to the screaming nonstop phase. She's "asking" after an hour and crying soon afterthat chanting Mommy get out fairly loudly.

Oddly enough, I can mostly block it out. We take 15h drives a few times a year and 3-5h routinely so the 1h limit isnt as long as you might think.

but, if the option if ff no tether, or rf & crying, for now, I'll take rf & crying.
the way people drive around here, dd needs every advantage she can get.

The reality is, I lost my oldest dog and my doberman is 8. My younger dog doesnt ride in the car as much and can just ride in a seatbelt. In another year, I may well have a different van and not need the custom kennel setup. :(

Besides, I remembered another advantage to being RF. DD is kept amused by my doberman. they can 'talk' to each other - I removed the headrest so they can see eachother a bit. She & my little guy even 'sing' to some songs together. (thats a joy)

Thanks everyone, my moment of weakness has passed.

[o_mom]

Thanks everyone, my moment of weakness has passed.


Aww... just come back any time for encouragement and hopefully you can get a different setup soon!

[1964pandora]

As I think I mentioned, my son is now 37.5 inches tall, and it's not always easy to keep him RF, but I know that it's soooooo much safer that that helps me in my "moments of weakness!" Good luck to you!