Need a friend

[Brittany Diamanti]

I'm so lonely here. I used to live in Ottawa, Canada and just moved here in California 4 months ago then had my son one month later. I have no friends here and I can't even call my friends at home because my Skype isn't working. My husband has friends who he's met through work, but of course they're all single guys. The only friends we had who had children (their son was born the day before Aiden) got deployed a few months ago (we're in the Air Force). I just need some sort of friend who I can go to a movie with or go out with. But I don't know where to meet anyone...I'm not one to just walk up to someone and strike up a conversation. Am I the only new mommy with no friends?

-Brittany

[purpleeyes]

Have you looked in to a 'moms group' near you? I attended one at the hospital where I had DS and my some of my best friends came from the group! It was an absolute lifesaver for me-got out of the house, met new people, talked about mommy things. It was great.
Churches and neighborhood associations host mommy groups around here, maybe it is the same near you. Could there be one through the air force base you are at?
Good luck!!

[tiapam]

Do they have movies for moms near you? Those are special weekday matinees for moms with young children. You bring your child with you. If someone else is there "alone", you can see if she wants to get coffee afterward.

Also, many public libraries now have programs for babies. Even if yours does not, it is a great place to pick up other moms!

[katydid1971]

Here's a couple websites you can try and see if they have any group in your area. Plus I bet their is a mom's support group with the base. Also I met great mom's at the baby story hour at the library or try joining activites like Gymboree. New moms are all longing for new friends. Try baby bootcamp / strooler strides, LLL meetings and ask your pedi if he knows of a good mom's support group in the area (they are generaly cheep or free). I know how you feel I moved shortly before DS was born but keeping busy with DS in many activites. DH and I have both made some very good friends. I hope this helps.
This is the military page for MOPS, it is a christian based group FYI:
http://www.mops.org/page.php?pageid=635&srctype=menu&PHPSESSID=263b04a4357fa0d884c77b495012284b

This group is very active in my community:
http://www.momsclub.org/join.html

[Brittany Diamanti]

Thanks so much all of you. I think I've heard of a baby hour at the library on base and a playgroup for infants so I might check that out next week. I really appreciate the feedback.

[bubbaray]

If you are stationed on the base, is there a wives/spouses support group?

You could also contact the Canadian consulate nearest you and find out if there are Canadian activities/groups in the area. For example, in London England, there is one particular pub that is frequented by Canadians (not that you're probably looking for a happy hour, or maybe you are??). Another way to meet other Canadians while abroad is to wear anything Tim Hortons. You'll be instantly recognized, LOL.

BTW, you're definitely NOT the only mom with no friends. Pretty much as soon as I had my DD#1, I was "dropped" by most of my friends. I'm an older mom and find it virtually impossible to make new mom friends -- I'm tired, cranky, and just not in the same head space as most of the younger moms I meet. Now that I'm on mat leave with DD#2, I've just accepted that being a mom is a lonely thing to be. Definitely NOT what I expected.


Good luck!

[niccig]

Like you I needed to have friends as a new mom. I know that some of the community college or adult schools here in California have parent education programs. It's a parent and child class that is 2-3 hours long, you have activities, play-time and discuss parenting topics. It's a great way to meet with other parents, talk about any concerns, set-up play dates.

I hope you find a playgroup you enjoy. Mine still meets and our kids are 3, these mums have been sanity savers for me on many occasions.

[VClute]

Hi, there! First of all, the security freak in me would suggest that you change your user name here. There are a lot of weirdos in the world who would love to find a woman with no husband around - or even an infant with no daddy around. The less identifying information you put on the web about yourself, the better.

Secondly, I could have (and probably did!) written your post after my first child was born. I used to pick up women at the pediatrician's office, I was so desperate for grown-up companionship! My husband is in the Army, so I know what it's like to be alone and almost like a single mother. I PROMISE it gets easier to meet new people as your child grows up.

I found my closest friends in MOPS, mothers of preschoolers, a Christian group for moms, mostly the stay-at-home variety. It's not a boring Bible study - It's a great support group. I also tried Moms Club, but our local chapter kind of withered on the vine. And a couple of the friends I picked up at the peds office "took," too, and I have hosted several playdates for us and their kids. If you feel some affinity with a woman you meet, suggest that you guys get together again - for storytime at Barnes and Noble, or the library or a playdate at your house. I know 4 month olds don't really DO a lot of playing, but we grown-ups can! :)

I hope you'll find a great group of buddies soon. That's a great thing about military wives: we learn to make great friends FAST!

[ellies mom]

Another thing to look for is an indoor play park. The library might know of one or a community center in your area might offer one. We joined one a few years back when we first moved to our area and it was a lifesaver. I made several friends that I still see frequently even though the play park shut down a year ago. The kids get to play and get out big energy and you can make talk with the other moms. It was the best thing.

ETA- Another place to ask would be the ped's office or your local hospital. I know those are the types of places that play parks tend to "advertise" as well as the bulletin board at the grocery store.