Preschool, Teething, Vaccines, and now DH!

[bisous]

Thanks DH. I really needed to hear how negative I'm being this morning. Thank you for letting me know that my negativity is causing behavior problems with our son. I'll keep that in mind today as I approach the mother of the kid that DS throttled on Tuesday (my son grabbed this other kid by the neck) who was so upset that he had to leave preschool. Also, when the school psychologist stops by on recommendation of the preschool teacher for the above behavior, maybe I should just admit to her that I'm at the root cause of all DS's problems. Its probably my negativity. Maybe I'll just explain to her that it could be that I deal with two kids ALL DAY (he's gone from 7:30 to 9:00) by myself and that one of those two is Type I Diabetic in addition to possible ADHD.

And the other one of those kids? Oh its my little 4 mo. old angel who is getting teeth. He doesn't fuss much but needs to be held a little more than usual because I've heard that getting teeth hurts. I hope its not too negative to say that. Oh, and i had planned to give DS2 his first vaccine today. That ought to be fun. I'm pretty nervous about that--but lets not be negative, remember!

Yeah. I'm really hurt. I actually don't like negativity either but somehow telling somepne that they are negative never seems to help, you know? I'm really going to try to make this a good day after all.

Jen

[ha98ed14]

Some encouragement:

You are dealing with A LOT right now, so your "negativity" is more like a realistic picture of what you are facing in the next 12+ hours of your day. (Nice that DH gets to go off to his office with no needy or sick kids. I'm sure his work life is not a walk in the park, but having worked professionally for 7+ years before kids, I can tell you that SAHM is more taxing to your person.)

YOU are NOT the cause of your son's behavior issue. If I read your post right, DS1 is both Diabetic and possible ADHD. Ether of these things can cause a surge in energy or aggression (sp?, mommy brain this morning.) I have experience with both blood sugar issues and ADHD, and I can tell you that either of these, or even the combo of both working off each other, could have caused him to "forget his boundaries" and hold the other boy by the neck. But no way are you the cause of your sons behavior problems. I am sure he has never seen you or DH holding someone by the neck.


This is some advice/ ideas from my experience, which you are free to ignore, but it worked for me so I thought I would share:
You will probably need to address DS1s behavior in a serious, sit-down-and-talk way, but whether its done by you or the counselor, use these words and ideas with him: "People have personal boundaries. We need to obey their boudaries. You have boundaries, too. You don't like it when another child hits you because they are breaking your boundaries." Or use the bubble idea- other kids have a bubble around them and we don't pop other kids' bubbles. Communicate that gentle hugs and holding hands don't break the bubble but that hitting and rough play do. You can tell him, "When you feel aggressive, you need to walk away and go hit a pillow (or other acceptable item) or go run around the yard." The pre-school teachers should be willing to help him work though his feelings and if that means giving him a pillow or letting him go run, they should do it. Or find one that will.

Maybe this will help or maybe not, but remember, YOU are not the cause of this problem. You are just trying to cope. Poo on DH if he can't handle your need to vent! He should have said something supportive like, "You're doing great honey! I know you will handle this well." So I will say it:

You're doing great! And you can and will handle this well! Because you are doing it for your son.

[bisous]

Thank you for your positive message Ha98ed14. It means a lot to me that you read it and wrote such a nice reply.

If I could rate you, I would!

Jen

[Wife_and_mommy]

H gave a wonderful response so I'll just send a hug....

You are doing wonderfully. :)