JustMe
12-22-2007, 01:48 AM
Sorry if this makes no sense.
So, I have a co-worker who has very different boundaries from me. She acts with me the way I would act with someone who had been a good, good friend for a long time...At first, I thought we might be developing a friendship, but pretty soon it became clear to me that I was not comfortable with her boundaries.
The biggest problem is the way she relates to dd. I am sometimes able to bring dd to work and the co-worker will ask dd to come with her while she does something, play by her desk etc. It created a problem for me because I wanted dd to be with me while I established rules for how to behave at work, etc, but she asked dd and not me (which I didnt like) but I dont like to contradict people in front of kids (I am not even sure if that makes sense right now). Also, sometimes I feel I need to work harder at accepting when people want to do something nice. Anyway, the other day when she asked dd if she wanted to go somewhere with her I told her dd needed to stay with me and the co-worker accepted it. (Dd was very upset). I really don't even want to have an in-depth conversation with the co-worker, I just want some space. I suppose I am being unfair because how is she supposed to know how I feel, but really I don't want to be super-close to her and don't even want to have a heart-to-heart about anything.
Does anyone understand what I am talking about?
So, I have a co-worker who has very different boundaries from me. She acts with me the way I would act with someone who had been a good, good friend for a long time...At first, I thought we might be developing a friendship, but pretty soon it became clear to me that I was not comfortable with her boundaries.
The biggest problem is the way she relates to dd. I am sometimes able to bring dd to work and the co-worker will ask dd to come with her while she does something, play by her desk etc. It created a problem for me because I wanted dd to be with me while I established rules for how to behave at work, etc, but she asked dd and not me (which I didnt like) but I dont like to contradict people in front of kids (I am not even sure if that makes sense right now). Also, sometimes I feel I need to work harder at accepting when people want to do something nice. Anyway, the other day when she asked dd if she wanted to go somewhere with her I told her dd needed to stay with me and the co-worker accepted it. (Dd was very upset). I really don't even want to have an in-depth conversation with the co-worker, I just want some space. I suppose I am being unfair because how is she supposed to know how I feel, but really I don't want to be super-close to her and don't even want to have a heart-to-heart about anything.
Does anyone understand what I am talking about?