Xmas presents

[SAHMIL]

My mom and sister had teh best intentions and were being thoughtful. I keep telling myself that all the time. However, I still have this thought gnawing at me that they overstepped their boundaries. Let me explain. My sister's present for my almost 9 month old DC was a teddy bear from Build A Bear Workshop in a football team uniform. Now, that was thoughtful and all, but part of me feels a bit like I got semi-cheated out of a special time with my DC when he/she's older when I would take him there myself and help him/her build his own teddy bear with the things that he wanted on it. My mother got some great stuff for... clothing ( needs to be exchanged b/c it is the wrong size) ; some books; and whatnot, but the big thing she did though was buy a huge all terrain Radio Flyer wagon. (not the small metal one) Anyway, the thought was great and all, but we have nowhere to put it in the meantime. It's too big for our garage. It just seems like they 1. went a bit overboard and showboated and overshadowed me and my husband. ( we bought some books, teh Tonka scoot and scoop and the Little tykes toy piano) and 2. they bought things that he can't even use or appreciate.

Sigh.... what do I do for his 1st birthday ? (which is this spring) How do I give them a list of suggestions for his birthday w/o making htem angry?

[tarabenet]

He will never remember who gave him what. You can't be overshadowed! You're his MOMMY! Nobody and nothing can top that! As for Build-A-Bear, you still get your experience with him when you want. All he knows is he has a teddy bear. Big whoop. You will get the experience with him when you are ready to do it.

For birthday, yes, give them a list! Early. Just say "These are some things I've researched for him and know he would really enjoy. They are things I'd really like for him to have." If you ever talk about this board, then add that the mommies here are all raving about how much their 1YO looooooooooves to play with ABC and just goes back to it again and again. And if you are pretty sure of some inappropriate thing coming your way, maybe you can head it off with a comment about how you know a lot of moms have been so disappointed with XYZ, because they thought their kids would like it and they haven't touched it since opening it (or it broke, or it was on a recall list you saw somewhere -- personally, I'd probably go for the little white lie if I had to).

They just wanted to give him something special. He's a lucky little guy to be surrounded by so much love! I would bet they had absolutely no thoughts about these being "overstepping boundary" gift items. I wouldn't have thought of it, personally. Not saying you are wrong to feel that way. You aren't. But it doesn't serve you any to nurture those feelings. Focus on the love, and on how to channel it to your/his benefit in the future.

[dms619]

I felt the same way when DD was born (she was 2 1/2 yesterday) and my mom and sister bought every possible thing I and they could think of. I was really upset after her first birthday......then I had an epiphany.....if they want to spend all of their money, let them........there are plenty of "things" to buy and afterall, I'm her Mommy, so I get to experience all the toys with her anyway. Plus, she doesn't care who bought them, she just wants to play!

Debbie

[vludmilla]

Oh, I definitely understand not wanting to be overshadowed. It does sound like they were trying to be loving...just missing the mark a little. Maybe your mom and sister don't really know what is appropriate for DC's age/development level. I frequently get gifts that I think are thoughtful on the giver's part but yet aren't really right for my DD. I guess that is one of the problems with so much gift giving.

[SAHMIL]

You are not kidding. I personally wish they would ask me aobut things. I"m not going to complain, but the things are that I need clothing in 18 month size and no one asked what I needed. My mom gave clothing in size 12 months. I'm struggling to keep his 12 month clothing from rolling up. what to do? He's a 20 pound kid who is long enough for 18 month, but doesn't weigh enough for 18. LOL!

[niccig]

I know the feeling - this year was the first year I felt that DS loved our presents over those from other people.

But I wouldn't write off the wagon. DH come home from Costco with the same one. I too didn't want it. I was wrong -it gets so much use. I can get 2 kids in it, 3 when they were younger, so playdates are at the park. DS now pulls it to the park by himself and we pile in sand toys etc. DH and I use it in the garden - put heavy bags of mulch etc and drag around the yard. You might find a use for it afterall.

[Kungjo]

You're the mommy! Just for that, you're going to get unconditional love no matter what. Don't worried about being overshadowed. Just be happy and thankful that your DC is loved by your family. That's the important thing.

PS- I used to stress about what to get DC for birthdays and Christmas, but in the end, they don;t care what they get so I just don't wory about it anymore. HUGS. I know the feeling though. :)