Who to look after DS/me after surgery

[niccig]

I have surgery scheduled for 22nd January. It's my thyroid, so I will be able to move around, but I've been told it'll be about a week of recovery, and possibly a few weeks of feeling tired as thyroid medication gets adjusted. DS is in preschool 3 times a week and we have a babysitter one afternoon a week. Cleaning lady is once every 2 weeks. DS will still want me to do most things, he's in a very mummy phase. These are my options for help:

1. My mother. Already been here for 3 weeks and a subject of a Bitching post. She'll cook, clean and take over my life, and I'll take a lot of pain pills to get through it. She has a return flight before surgery, but will change the date.

2. MIL. Doesn't push too many buttons. Minor cooking and cleaning. Needs direction as doesn't like to step on my toes, so I'll end up doing some things. If she comes, my mother probably won't talk to me for a while.

3. DH. He doesn't want to do it without help. He can take 4 days off work, plus Sat, Sun. I'll need to have freezer of food, and house will be messy.

4. Pay someone, either our regular babysitter if she can do more, or find someone for 1-2 weeks of help.

WWYD?

[JBaxter]

I'd vote for MIL. If she comes you could make a list of "to do's" for the day and she will probably stick with it. I think after surgery I would want less drauma.

My MIL is like that she doesnt want to indrude on my area :) but if I say please do a load of darks they laundry is done.

Hope your surgey goes well.

[Marisa6826]

I say combination of your DH and MIL. That way neither one of them will feel that they'll be 'in the weeds' and you won't have to deal with your Mother (and wouldn't it be kind of a good thing if she doesn't talk to you for a while?).

I'll be facing a similar situation in April and am NOT looking forward to my options. As Jonathan has put it, we've run out of relatives we like. ;)

-m

[geochick]

If it were me and my family, I'd probably give them all a turn. Dh for the first 2 days, Mom for the next 3, and then MIL. It sounds like you're most open to MIL, but will you mom feel bad? Do you care if she feels bad?

Good luck with the surgery. My sister went through that recently. Hang in there.

[Melanie]

I'd take options two and three. start with option two and when you're feeling better than option three.

[bubbaray]

I say combination of your DH and MIL. That way neither one of them will feel that they'll be 'in the weeds' and you won't have to deal with your Mother (and wouldn't it be kind of a good thing if she doesn't talk to you for a while?).


Another vote for MIL.... Good luck with your decision & the surgery!

[Aishe]

I say a combination of three and four. You yourself will not need that much attention after the first couple days (and I hate to break it to you, but if I remember correctly you will only get tylenol with codeine for pain medication . . . so that's a point against having your mom there). But I don't think you can drive for at least a week so that's a consideration. Still, a week of take-out food and a messy home will not hurt anyone in the family. Heck, in my household that's just normal life!

[JoyNChrist]

I'd go with a combination of MIL/DH. Your mom sounds like stress that you don't need, and I don't know about you, but if I have someone in my house that I'm paying, I usually feel like I have to be up helping or providing direction, and it doesn't end up being very restful.

Your DH should be all the help you need in the evenings/at night, but maybe have MIL come during the day. She could watch DS, do a few loads of laundry, and maybe put something in the slow cooker so that dinner's ready by the time your DH gets home. You could also maybe ask her to do one other household chore (mopping, dusting, etc) each day (obviously, this depends on how open your MIL is to direction). Your house probably won't be spotless, but that method would keep it from being a disaster and you wouldn't eat takeout all week.

Good luck!