How & when did you introduce a lovey?

[abc]

DD has a habit of sucking on her fingers to fall asleep. That was fine with us, but recently she was sick for 3 weeks and ending up sucking on her fingers all day for comfort! She has recovered now, but now sucks on her fingers all day! :* We are trying to break that habit (boy, is it tough ... more on mom and dad than the baby ... it's heart-breaking to hear her cry because she misses her fingers when falling asleep :( ) Anyway, we would like to introduce a lovey to help her fall asleep ... but have no idea how to go about doing that! Also, DD is almost 9 months ... is it too late to introduce a lovey? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[Rachels]

I wouldn't discourage her from sucking on her fingers. It sounds like she has developed a great tool for self-comforting, and there's no need to take that from her so young. It's really common for babies to chew on their fingers at this age. It's comforting, it allays teething pain, and it's developmentally appropriate since they're using taste andd touch to learn about the world. Also, lots of good sleepers start having sleep troubles between nine and twelve months, and it would be a shame to deny her something that helps her sleep. You can try snuggling a lovey whenever you pick her up to comfort her, but honestly, nine months is really too young to worry about finger-sucking.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[abc]

More sleep troubles between nine and twelve monthes eh? Just what we need ... she already wakes up at least twice a night! DH and I don't mind her sucking on her fingers to fall asleep, but we are getting a lot of pressure from family and friends who don't approve! Also, because she was sucking on her fingers all day ... one of them actually cracked and was bleeding a little :'( I guess we could just try to get her not to suck on them during the day when she is awake, but let her use them to comfort her to fall asleep!? What do you think? It's great to be able to get advice from other parents about these things :)

[lukkykatt]

I agree! I think finger sucking at this age is fine. At this point, it is a natural tool for self soothing.

Having said that, we did introduce a lovey to DS at six months of age. We got a soft flannel doll sold under "Parents" brand (I believe as in Parents magazine) at Target. It is very soft flannel, has two knots in it for manipulating, and is edged in satin, which some say is soothing for babies to touch. I did sleep with it first so it would smell like me, then I put it in his crib. That was all I did. I left it up to him to see if it is something that would be a comfort to him in his crib (ok, I was trying to get him to go back to sleep on his own during the middle of the night!) :) He does seem to like it, but we never take it out of the crib, and for now (at 11 months) that is fine with him.

So, I would see if a lovey might help, but not actively stop the finger sucking - just my thought- I am by no means an expert on this! Good luck!

[justlearning]

I know I'm naive, but I've never head of using a "lovey." I thought that it's considered unsafe to leave any soft object (including a plush doll or animal) in the crib with a baby. For a shower gift, I was given a very soft short Gund blanket with a stuffed head. The giver called it a "lovey," but I thought that was just her own cute name for it! Could this be considered a "lovey" in the way that you're referring to it, and if so how could it be safely used in the crib during sleep times?

[egoldber]

Well, this is a personal choice each parent has to make. I started using one when Sarah was about 6 months old. I waited until she was old enough to have really good head control and was pretty mobile on her own.

As for finger sucking, my DD also sucks her thumb in addition to using her lovey. I guess the thumb sucking doesn't bother me and I don't care what anyone else thinks. Everything I have read says it isn't a problem until children get permanent teeth and the VAST majority of children give it up spontaneously before then. And even with permanent teeth, I have read that as long as they aren't sucking ALL DAY, it's not such a big deal. As soon as your child is old enough to feel the impact of peer pressure they will usually give it up themselves. In fact, trying to force tem to give it up usually only prolongs the sucking behavior.

HTH,

[charp2000]

I think I introduced a 'blankie' fairly early - by 3-4 months I'm sure and it's a great comfort item for my now 13 month old. We received 2 as baby gifts - small, soft little blankets, 1 even has satin on 1 side. In fact, I just bought a "Silkie' brand one for our neighbor's new baby.

I started introdocing the blankie by just laying it down with DS in the crib. Pretty soon I'd find him snuggled up with it. He just loves 'em! Now we get a kick out of seeing him sleeping on his back with the blankie thrown over his face.

I try to limit use to just when he's tired and ready to go to sleep. Sometimes when he wakes up he wants to carry it for awhile, which is fine, but then I try to put it out of sight at an opportune moment. If he sees it, he wants to snuggle with it and carry it around!

[sweetbasil]

We got a Little Taggie (www.taggies.com) as a gift before DS was born, and had no idea how much he'd love it. I've had friends see it and make their own- my college roommate has 4 for her daughter (one for the crib, the car, grandparents' house, diaper bag)...it's sweet how each little one picks a favorite ribbon and seems to find comfort in holding onto it. Just another option, though....

Good luck!

[AngelaS]

I am one of those goofy people who actually prayed for a thumb sucking baby while I was pregnant. All the thumb and finger sucking kids I know are SO happy! They're not dependent on a piece of plastic to fall asleep and you don't have to get up in the middle of the night to help a thumb sucker find their thumb. LOL

I figured, as a child, my dd is entitled to suck on her thumb for comfort and when she was 4 or 5 or so we'd work on breaking the habit. My oldest dd quit sucking her thumb all by herself right after she turned 4. Her teeth are not damaged and even if they were---with mine and her father's genes she'll probably need braces anyway! LOL

I had a great article I ripped from I think Parents magazine when she was a baby about how it's okay for kids to suck their thumb. Adults also have habits that they shouldn't. Nosy grandmas will pull a baby's thumb out and say, "do you need that??". But when fat old granny's eating a BIG piece of something she shouldn't, do we pull it away and say, "do you need that??". Nope, we don't and I decided that I would basically tell off anyone who gave my sweet, content dd a hard time about sucking her thumb!! LOL (I love post partum hormones!!) :D

[stella]

My first still takes a pacifier when he goes to bed and he's almost two. I'm trying to limit it more and more, but he has a 5 month old sister and I have tried not to force changes on him right now.

My baby is athumbsucker and I am so grateful. She really settles down with it. I just brush it against her face while I rock her and put it to bed with her. She uses it in conjunction with her thumb.

I really echo Rachel's points about why take away something that soothes her. And as for relatives' opinions, well, they're not staying up all night with a sick or sleepless child and they don't have to feel the guilt of knowing that they're depriving her of something that she loves.

She's so little - tell the well-wishers that you'll take their opinions under advisement. That may get them to leave you alone about it. But she's just a baby. I say let her have her fingers.

[Rachels]

This is only one of many times that other people won't approve of something or will offer you unsolicited advice. I'm always a little astonished by how people who AREN'T with your baby around the clock could presume to know better than you what is best for her. Anyway, for this one, it's perfectly appropriate developmentally, so it's not even sage advice to stop her from sucking her fingers. I say let her do it (within reason, of course-- you don't want her fingers to bleed). As Kate said, she will stop on her own eventually, and you'll feel good about having let her soothe herself in one of the only ways she's able at this age.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[jenmcadams]

We introduced a little soft piglet we had gotten as gift when Abbie was about 4 months. She doesn't ever need it outside the crib, but as soon as she's laid down she reaches for it and hugs it (soooo cute). My only recommendation would be to consider getting a "back-up" lovie. It took me a while but I finally found an identical piglet online and now I'm less worried about losing Piglet when we travel or damaging him in the wash :)

[mama2be]

Great question because I am thinking about lovies at this time too...
I couldn't agree with the above posters more about not worrying about sucking fingers and thumb...it makes my heart melt when I see Tristan trying to comfort himslef with those adorable little fingers. I'd tell folks who think otherwise to go have their own baby to raise.

Tristan lately is grabbing at burp clothes and holding them up near his ear EXCTLY like Linus does in "Peanuts"...so I not knowing any better finally brought down the little blanket my friend made for him (her tow children use it as a lovey) and I turn around one second and it is over his head!!!!! So it's back in the closet...but I can tell he is going to be a bankie boy!!!

I also have the above stuffed animal mentioned the gund with the head and he loves that by putting his head up near it's head and falling asleep. But we can't cart that thing around easily.

[abc]

>Nosy grandmas will pull a baby's thumb out and say, "do you
>need that??". But when fat old granny's eating a BIG piece
>of something she shouldn't, do we pull it away and say, "do
>you need that??". Nope, we don't and I decided that I would
>basically tell off anyone who gave my sweet, content dd a
>hard time about sucking her thumb!! LOL (I love post
>partum hormones!!) :D


Your comment about the nosy grandmas is so funny and so true :D We've mostly gotten disapproving comments from grandmas! We are going to let her use her fingers to soothe herself to sleep. She is a lot happier that way and so are we! I guess she'll eventually lose the habit when she is ready ... either that or peer pressure in high school will make her lose it :D Thank you everyone for your advice :)

[liya]

OMG Linus just what my baby looks like with his burp rags...i made him these cute little embroided burp rags out of CPF'c and he love to take it in his little hand and hold them near his ear......these february babies are a scandel....lol but dont they look adorable!!!....about the lovey question i have all the loveys hidden in a drawer i saw his hold one to close to his face and nose and it kindda scared me that he could sufficate...maybe im being neurotic but humm i just dont trust it........