What do you do when relatives give your child clothes that you don't like?

[LucyG]

Yikes! My inlaws gave DD an outfit for her birthday that I just don't like AT ALL. I know they mean well, but am I expected to dress her in it when she sees them (every 6 weeks or so)? To make it worse, MIL asked, "Do you want to keep the outfit we gave her?" I wimped out and just said, "Sure!" I feel bad about lying, but I didn't want to hurt her feelings. That said, I don't plan to dress DD in the outfit. It is just not my idea of cute for a baby. Opinions?

[Dcclerk]

It happens frightfully often in my household, so I understand completely your dilemna.;) When we receive a few outfits, I usually take back what I can so I am left with just 1 or 2. Then, I always make sure that the outfit makes an appearance the next time I see them. I figure DS doesn't care and it makes them feel special. From that first viewing on, then, the outfit becomes part of the diaper bag as the reserve outfit. That way, they see it often when I'm changing and feel special like I always have it at the ready, yet reality is that it rarely leaves its special place. So far, that has worked for me. HTH!

[JenCA]

This is an excellent idea! I've also been wanting to ask this question. DD got a couple of outfits for Christmas that are just not our style AT ALL. And I can't return/exchange them, because they came from a store that we don't even have in CA. I like the idea of having the outfits "make an appearance" and then be added to the diaper bag as the spare clothing.

[stillplayswithbarbies]

I always put it on her, tuck the tags inside, and take a picture to show them. Then I exchange it.

We live far from family and don't see them much, so I can rightfully say that she outgrew it if asked.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[Marisa6826]

The few truly God-awful things I got from MIL went to Salvation Army. She actually gave me a 9m iridescent purple snowsuit with ruffles at my babyshower in DECEMBER. When you tilted the fabric in the light you could see tone on tone flowers. It was horrible. It had no tags, no receipt. She wouldn't say where she got it. I strongly suspect it was from one of those dollar stores (Weber's, etc.)

I've also just given it over to thrift shops. MIL has this strange ability to scope out things made from 100% manmade fibers.

The stuff that my mother got, on the other hand, I just gave to my neighbour who's daughter is two months younger than Sophie. I don't do pink, or other pastels, but my neighbour couldn't get enough of it. A lot of it was Carter's so I knew it would be useful to her.

Most of it came from Marshalls, but with a 12w old I just wasn't prepared to try and take her out to make returns. I knew that my neighbour didn't have many clothes for her DD, so I felt OK handing it over to "another grandchild" on my mother's behalf.

-m

[khakismom]

Marisa, I always remember that you hate pastels and pink. Sometimes when I dress Ellen, I think "Marisa would never put Sophie in this!" and it makes me laugh. And if I see a baby in bright colors out and about, I always think of you! :)

[Melanie]

eBay or return them. I don't have that issue where they expect to see him in it though. Unless it's something terribly uncomfortable or against your parenting beliefs (say for example a Barbie shirt if you dislike Barbie), I'd probably dress them in it once and then get rid of it. If it were something that was like 100% polyester I would just get rid of it b/c Ds can't have that on his skin.

[sugarsnappea]

I usually snip off the tags and leave the clothing in the closet. Most of our family is local and seems to snoop in DD's closet quite often. I intended to donate the clothing once it is clearly not her size but... now that I have 2 girls I worry that relatives will remember. ;)I guess I will keep it for a few years. I don't know why, but I feel terrible returning gifts.

[Marisa6826]

Ah, Maureen, my plan succeeded!

My goal was to completely infiltrate your thoughts of pastels versus primaries :P

-m

[suribear]

Take a picture in it and give it to them, then the outfit can "disappear" LOL You can also have them wear it when the relatives visit. I like the idea of having it as a reserve outfit. Then donate it.

ETA: You could also hint around to what you really like so it won't happen again. My mom stopped buying clothes for the kids, and if she does she asks me :)


Kris

[LucyG]

Good idea to tuck in the tags and take a picture, Karen! I hadn't thought of that one!

[LucyG]

As much as I would like to return it, I'm not sure where they got it. And, MIL tends to ask, "Where is the such-and-such that we gave her," so I guess I'd better hang onto it. I'll probably consign it next spring, though, as I don't think it's worth enough to eBay. For the record, the outfit is a halter top (yes, you are reading that correctly) and a skort. Just not my cup of tea for a baby (or for me, for that matter!). My MIL had five boys, so she is new to buying for little girls. Most of what she buys I like, but this is quite a startling exception!

[supersparkee]

My MIL and GMIL (DD's great-grandmother) have bought several things that I couldn't bear to put her in. They live out of state but come to visit about every 3-4 months. I usually return everything expect 1-2 outfits. For the outfits I do keep, I also leave the tags on because if she outgrows that size before the next visit then I can say I have "packed all the items that size away" and then resell the outfits. Of course, when the G-MIL bought DD the exact same outfit twice (about 2 months apart), I realized they didn't remember exactly the items they bought for her so I didn't feel so bad!

Thanks for all the posts - I'm getting some good additional ideas for this because I don't see this issue going away!

[MelissaTC]

LOL...we have a couple of outfits sitting in the closet right now with tags. I have made it clear to my Mom that I like to dress DS in GAP, Gymboree, Hanna, TCP, and some Tommy wear. I like a certain look - usually classic, somewhat plain and simple. I am not a fan of the Baby Q, bt Kids, Baby Beluga, etc.. type of outfits. That's just me. As he has gotten older that is what she picks up at TJ Maxx or Marshalls. I was telling her the other day that he is starting to outgrow his 12-18 month clothes and I bought some Gymboree/GAP clothes off of ebay. She said "well, I guess he fits into that outfit I bought him for Christmas". It was a bit big at Christmas and yeah, he may fit in it. But it is still hanging in the closet with the tags on. I guess I should wash it and put him in it. But I don't like it. There is a HUGE football across the chest. UGH.

[papal]

What a great question!
Leela got some stuff for Christmas from my cousin ,(if you were in the Lounge then YES, she is the same cousin with the son who is driving me CRAZY!), and it was THE MOST HIDEOUS OUTFIT EVER!!!!! It was a red jacket with a black-and-white leopard print furry thing as a trim on the 'cape' with matching leopard print pants (dd was 2.5 months at the time) YIKES!!! Who designs these clothes and who buys them! It was made out of 100% polyester! And she insisted dd put it on for Xmas day pictures. One picture and i whipped it off saying it was too large.
I asked her where she got it and she would not tell me... so i knew it was from a department store which was having a DEEP DEEP discounted sale!!! arrrghhh.. people... simple cottons please!!
Ooooh... and what really gets my goat is... everytime she comes over she comments on the clothes my baby is wearing. Yesterday she was wearing a green-and-white striped Zutano t-shirt and her sugarpeas dipes... and she was looking cute... my cousin is like 'Why don't you put her in frills and frocks? She looks like a BOY". Who asked??? Ok.. i am getting mad just thinking about this!!!
So now it lies in a box, under the bed. I am sure even Goodwill will not want it.

Having said that.. one persons trash is another persons treasure.. maybe we can upload pictures of what we hate and maybe someone will like it? Then we can swap?

[stillplayswithbarbies]

> It was a red jacket with a black-and-white
>leopard print furry thing as a trim on the 'cape' with
>matching leopard print pants (dd was 2.5 months at the time)
>YIKES!!! Who designs these clothes and who buys them! It was
>made out of 100% polyester! And she insisted dd put it on for
>Xmas day pictures. One picture and i whipped it off saying it
>was too large.
>I asked her where she got it and she would not tell me... so
>i knew it was from a department store which was having a DEEP
>DEEP discounted sale!!!

Um, it came from Sears. :)

I was laughing as I read this, because I just bought this outfit last weekend at Sears, to have for next winter.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[kransden]

"She actually gave me a 9m iridescent purple snowsuit with ruffles at my babyshower in DECEMBER." - OMG ROTFLMAO!!!

I think I would have kept that forever! Your dd won't believe it. It is unbelievable what people will give especially relatives. I think my sister has lost her mind. She bought me clothes that had buttons for a newborn. Clothes that needed to be ironed etc. She has 2 teenagers, she knows better.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[JenCA]

I wish I could hint around and it would work! We told family to please NOT buy toys/clothing for DD for Christmas (because heaven knows she certainly has more than enough of both), but guess what we got loads of? Toys and clothes. :) I can admit that I understand the joy of shopping for a grandchild (especially since DD is the first grandchild on both sides), but honestly. She got so much stuff that most of it I just packed away to give to her later on.

[cinrein]

What great ideas from this post!

OK, does anyone know who sells Blues Clues clothing? I am so not into clothing with any characters on them. Anna got an outfit for her birthday. The capris are kind of cute, but probably won't fit by summer. The shirt has old Blue in all his glory.

Cindy and Anna 2/11/03

[papal]

KAREN!!!!!!!!
I feel so horrid for saying that about the outfit.... please please don't hate me!! I might be the one needing a fashion make-over.. my dd dresses only in primary colors and stripes.

And seriously, if you can use it, do you want me to mail the smaller size for you? Leela wore it for all of 10 minutes.

ETA: Karen, the outfit came with a matching t-shirt with dalmations on it. Is this the same one you got??

[Melanie]

"Having said that.. one persons trash is another persons treasure.. maybe we can upload pictures of what we hate and maybe someone will like it? Then we can swap?"

Great idea!

[Melanie]

>What great ideas from this post!
>
>OK, does anyone know who sells Blues Clues clothing? I am so
>not into clothing with any characters on them. Anna got an
>outfit for her birthday. The capris are kind of cute, but
>probably won't fit by summer. The shirt has old Blue in all
>his glory.
>


Tough call, That is the only character stuff I'll ever buy for Ds and I've only bought 2 of them. I think Kids R Us/Babies R Us/Toys R Us, I've seen them at K-mart. I'll bet they are everywhere. Ebay them and you'll probably find them a home.

[jec2]

i went so far as having Hanna Andersson's catalog sent to my mother so she'd maybe get the hint. We'll see if it works. I also email her links to cute clothes bur so far she still sends me what she wants us to have vs. what we'd enjoy having.

[Melanie]

LOL. We HANDED the Hanna catalog to MIL who took it home and then later gave it back saying she didn't think she'd be able to have it arrive in time for the holiday (so don't wait until the week before to shop..hmm?). So she bought Ds a so-so sweat outfit from a dept. store that was part poly. So, I figured it was a budget thing she didn't or couldn't spend hanna prices (or just thought they were too high). When I returned the outfit I was shocked that it was over $20. Totally not worth that price IMO.

I have LINKS to Hanna on Ds' wishlist on his website. Doesn't matter. Those who ask what we'd like for him to buy don't pay attention, the rest don't ask. At least he doesn't get a ton of obnoxious toys (except from my dad who wouldn't even think of asking what someone WANTED).

Speaking of, anyone need a babbling Sponge Bob Squarepants? I'll throw in a Remote-Controlled Johnny Neutron to seal the deal.

[Marisa6826]

Karin-

My girlfriends that threw me the babyshower said the look on my face was priceless when I opened the box.

I think there might actually be a photo floating around somewhere. For that's all that's left of the snowsuit ;)

What's even funnier yet is that hostesses made it ABUNDANTLY clear that i didn't like pastels. I also noted it on my shower registry!!!

Some people need to be hit over the head to take a hint, huh?

-m

[ChicagoMama]

Wow, I was just thinking the same thing -- both girls received 3 outfits each this weekend from various family members. I feel terrible about "slamming" them on the internet, and I'm very appreciative of gifts, but I'll still tell my tale.

from SIL: for Shelby, a lime green sleeveless "party dress" with pink flowers -- my MIL had the audacity to suggest that Shelby should wear this dress to Sydney's christening. AHEM, excuse me? Since when is SIL who drives me crazy allowed to suggest outfits for Shelby for major family occasions? Not gonna happen. Shelby is going to wear a funky, bright Hanna, thank you very much!! Not a lime green polyester dress. However, the dress she bought for Sydney is cute - 100% cotton, and it has a kerchief to match, so I love it.

from my step-mom, who is usually so good: for Sydney, a 100% polyester, light pink sleeper with a lace trim at the neck, and a zipper in the back. for Shelby, a jumper with a candy-pink/white seersucker skirt, and a dark denim top with a bear and pink flowers embroidered on it. I thought for a minute, "oh, I'll just have them wear the outfits once" - but I couldn't even go there. They were from KMart (which I like - I find some very cute, very cheap outfits there), so I promptly exchanged them for some spring/summer playclothes outfits. She actually did ask me where I was shopping for stuff lately, and I mentioned stores where I've had more consistent luck with styles.


Here's what I do if I don't like it:
1. I call and ask where the outfit is from because, "unfortunately, it doesn't fit well" (too tight, falls downs, etc), or "it's too small." These are usually NOT stretches of the truth, either, because the some of the stuff that my MIL/SIL purchase usually doesn't fit well and/or is too small. Then at least I have a chance of getting a gift receipt or receipt and I can return for credit & buy something else more palatable.

2. I mention how disappointed I am in conversation with certain clothes by X brand or from Y store -- I do this around the times when people usually buy the girls outfits. I say, "wow, I feel like I wasted my $ buying stuff there because it just didn't last very long..." And then I rave about the store that I prefer. I've started doing this more often b/c the toddler size clothes from certain places don't fit very well! And I just can't have Shelby running around in low-rise pants.

I guess the worst part about this for me is that these folks (my IL's primarily) are obviously taking less care in selecting the clothes. For Shelby's first Christmas, I loved everything she received. I couldn't believe the awesome job everyone did picking out stuff. But lately, I can just tell that people aren't trying as hard. So why bother, I wonder? In the meantime, I'll just keep exchanging stuff I don't like. (luckily everyone is local so I don't get things from obscure or out of state stores...if I did, I would ebay the stuff or donate it.)

Becky

Mama to DDs Shelby 09/19/02 and Sydney 10/13/03