Tacky mother at Gymboree

[Little Ladybug]

I was picking up a few fall things for DS at Gymboree during the sale this weekend (that cute navy corduroy pea coat and the sailor sweater from the layette line), and the mother checking out next to me made the tackiest comment to the sales clerk! The clerk was obviously pregnant, and the mother asked her what she was having. When the clerk told her, "It's a boy," the mother rolled her eyes, gave this huge exaggerated sigh, and said in a snotty voice, "I just wouldn't even know WHAT to do with a boy." I felt so bad for the poor clerk - There she was, expecting a boy and working in the midst of all the cute girl clothes at "Girl-boree" as DH calls it, and this tacky mother comes in and acts like being the mother of a boy makes you a second class citizen! It wasn't so much what she said as it was how she said it - She had a very condescending tone and body language. The clerk looked a little hurt - I was a little insulted myself, as I stood there with DS, decked out in his Hanna romper (and looking terribly cute if I do say so myself!) I just looked at the clerk and smiled and said something to the effect of, "My little boy is the sweetest thing around - You will love having a boy." I'm sure the mother didn't mean her comment the way it sounded, but good heavens! Cut us mommies of boys some slack! :)

[LoveMyBabyBeans]

How tacky. As a mother of two absolutely adorable, lovable, huggable little boys, I'm sad to say that I've heard comments (made with that body language) more than I care to have heard. The comments have never bothered me because, well, I ADORE my little guys, but it's a shame that some people make those comments anyway.

[anutalp]

Thanks god I wasn't there, I'm sure I would say something very unpleasant that this nasty mother would remember for a long time :)
I have a boy (first one) and I'm enjoying every second with him and particulary buying him a cloth. You have so many options in stores and online. Well, Gymboree is not the best place but it's still bearable.
I think pregnant women should have only positive emotions and experiences and giving such a remark to a pregnant women is just so rude.

[kijip]

We did not find out Toby was a boy before birth. My husband has a secret (so so secret really) wish for girl so when people asked I always said "Well, we don't know but we will be happy with either. My husband would like a girl". Bad idea. On a couple of occasions we got rude comments. At BRU for work on day (staffing an info booth- I work an organization that supports new parents) a woman looked at me and said (in response to my rote reply above) "Boys are better" WHAT? Right after I said my husband wanted a girl and after I made it clear that in the end we did not care....

Rude, sexist, people all around.

[AngelaS]

Wow that was rude!! WTG on speaking up!

As someone who's pregnant with her third GIRL, I've about had it with the 'you'll have to try again for a boy'. As IF we were TRYING for a boy this time (heck, as if we were trying at all...) What's up with people thinking you NEED both genders for a 'perfect family'? Or that one sex is somehow superior??? GAG!

[bluej]

I would have said (and please mom's of daughter's don't take offense as this is not FACT, just a tart response I would have used) "Oh boys are better. They ALWAYS love their mothers; girls at some point go through a phase of hating their mothers." And I might have had to add "and some with good reason" while giving her a nasty look.

[anutalp]

I love that!!!:)

[pamela mom of 3]

Oh don't get me started on that one... while i was PG with #3 that was the comment all the time, since my first and second are girls...i really hated how they would say it in front of my eldest child ...odd part is people still commented after he was born "oh you finally got the boy" x(



~Pamela Mom Of 3

http://instagiber.net/smiliesdotcom/kao/otn/blobflower.gif

[khakismom]

Brilliant retort!

[parkersmama]

I get it all the time too but the other way around! "Well, you finally got your girl" as if I wasn't happy with the first two and had to keep trying for a better kid. Of course, I really, really wanted a girl but I got pregnant knowing that it was a 50/50 chance and I still was thrilled about having a *baby*. :)

[JenCA]

That's quite possibly one of the most ridiculous statements I've heard in quite some time. I honestly think that some people lack the cerebral mechanism that causes them to stop and THINK before they speak. At any rate, that sales associate has one up on the tacky mom...she works at Gymboree and will get a great discount on clothes for her little boy. ;)

[Melanie]

That really ticks me off, you did exactly the right thing. There is a woman, who I otherwise like, in one of my playgroups and she has said something along those lines on 3 occasions. I am hoping she doesn't go for '4.' I am really really really upset by it, plus she says it in front of the kids. I don't want to end the friendship with this woman, but the only comebacks I can think of are really really nasty ("I'd much rather have my Angelic boy than that whiney girl of yours!" you get the drift).

[Little Ladybug]

I'm glad to know that I wasn't out of line! Certainly I would love to have a girl someday (just so I can buy all those cute girly dresses), but if I am blessed with all boys, I will still be perfectly happy. I look at DS's sweet smile and I know that I wouldn't trade him for one hundred girls (and I'm sure that moms of girls feel the same way about their little ones!)

As an interesting side note, I glanced over at the pile of clothes that this mother was buying, and let me just tell you, she needs to visit this board so that she can get a clue as to what the CUTE pieces from the various Gymbo lines are! :)

[KYBelle1102]

I've had comments too....mostly along the lines of "Girls are much easier to raise than boys are." My smart @$$ reply was to the effect of.."Oh, yeah? You should talk to my mother. She'd probably convince you otherwise."

Although we would have been ecstatic with a girl when DS came along through adoption, I really wanted a boy. Now that I'm PG and expecting Doodlebug #2, I think I still want a boy. (Shhh...don't tell DH that..I think he wants a girl) I know how big a pain in the butt I was when I was growing up, and from the stories I've heard about DH...our child is genetically predisposed to be a real smart @$$.

[kransden]

Hmmm... the two worst kids at dd's daycare are guess what, a boy and a girl. The two best kids are, suprise suprise a boy and a girl.
I hate it when people say such annoying things to pregnant women.

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[suribear]

I was nervous about having a boy, as I don't really understand "boy stuff".
But once he came along, wow, he has stolen my heart :) He'll always be MY little boy!

I'm hoping for less theatrics, compared to his drama queen sister!

Kris

[Melanie]

>I've had comments too....mostly along the lines of "Girls are
>much easier to raise than boys are." My smart @$$ reply was to
>the effect of.."Oh, yeah? You should talk to my mother. She'd
>probably convince you otherwise."

That's funny! I'm going to remember that one. My mom, in a fit of anger/frustration, used to say: "I hope you have three girls JUST LIKE YOU!" True to my form, when we found out Ds was a boy I called her up and said, "Mom, remember when you wished three girls JUST LIKE me on me? WE'RE HAVING A BOY!" I think she's rather irritated that Ds is so easy-going. LOL. I KNOW she's irritated that he's a good napper (I was a non-napper).

>:-)

[ChicagoMama]

ITA! When we had Sydney, she was no more than a month old and we started to hear comments from strangers and friends alike about "trying for the boy" -- it was like Sydney was brushed off in their minds because she was just another girl, and they wanted to know when we were going to start trying again for a 3rd child in the hopes that it would be a boy. Like I would be crazy enough to have a 3rd child when I have two so close together....but that's another thread for another time :)
Becky

Mama to DDs Shelby 09/19/02 and Sydney 10/16/03

[BeachBaby]

This is so funny to me b/c I am having a girl next month (!!!) and all the people I work with have boys. When I told one of them we are having a girl, she actually said, "Oh, I'm so sorry." WTH?? And the "boys are better/easier" comments have only continued.

I agree with all the PPs who said only *positive* things should be said to pregnant women! :)

[Melanie]

ITA! No scaring the pregnant mommies! I *do* wish I had been a little more prepared about the realities of having a newborn, but there's no need to make negative nasty comments.

As for boy vs girl vs boy....well, I (since I do have an easier child) happen to think it's all about the parenting. ;) Of course, if I had a child that was more high-needs then I would say it's genetic. LOL

[tigalig]

Good for you for giving the clerk some comforting words. I'm often shocked though no longer surprised at how people will speak about matters that don't concern them when it comes to children. It's as if having a child (through pregnancy or adoption) opens the door and requires you to hear everyone's opinion. Ugh!

Ida

[jk3]

Yet another example of a thought that should have remained purely a thought.

I always thought I wanted a girl but having a little boy is the best! They do love their mommies. I'd love a girl too but having a pack of boys would be cool as well.

My MIL would say what the tacky lady said but she would say that about girls. She always makes ridiculous comments about how they don't make girls in her family and she's glad. Hopefully I'll be able to prove her wrong at some point-my biggest motivation to have a girl!

Jenn
DS 6/3/03

[deborah_r]

That woman just sounds like a total dumba$$. It was such a stupid comment, it really isn't worth trying to talk to or reason with someone so stupid.

I think if I have another baby, I will not tell people what sex the baby is (except family) just to avoid stupid comments like that!