Nasty hoochie mama clothes and reflections on my mall trip today

[Marisa6826]

So I'm walking in the Short Hills Mall today with Sophie. For those of you unfamiliar with this mall, it's pretty high end (think 5th Avenue).

In walks this girl, no more than 8 or 9 at most. She has on low rider hip huggers, a one shouldered crop tee shirt with "stripper" written across it in glitter and a bandana on her head. She was also wearing stacked flip flops.

Aside from the truly horrible outfit, the little girl was heavy for her size. So am I, so I'm not criticising her for that. But what was this girl's Mother thinking?? ETA, she was with her Mother.

All I want to find for Sophie is decent solid coloured tee shirts. I go into Gap, nothing but this wacky neo-bohemian stuff. Fine for some, but come on. Is it hard to have a couple solid tees? They had them a few weeks ago. Fortunately, Nordy's is still having a sale, so I got three for $14. They have some embroidery on the front, but it will do for now.

If anybody's looking, Talbot's Kids is having a HUGE sale right now. Really, really cute appropriately aged toddler stuff. Some 60% off.

I won't even bring up seeing a couple of 12 year olds in Sephora with their own (real!!) Coach bags. Damn. I was 30 before I got one!


-m

[LoveMyBabyBeans]

"I won't even bring up seeing a couple of 12 year olds in Sephora with their own (real!!) Coach bags. Damn. I was 30 before I got one!"

I just turned 30 and I still don't have one.

I saw some young girls dressed very similarly to what you described the other day. It turned my stomach.

[calebsmama03]

<<I just turned 30 and I still don't have one.>>

LOL!! I wa sjust going to say that I'll be 30 in less than 2 weeks and don't have one! ;)

Clothes for little girls these days just make me shake my head. WHY would any mom actually WANT their kid to wear that?!? My sis has a friend with a LOT of issues and she puts that crap on her 22 mos old! Yuck!

Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03

[ddmarsh]

One of my sisters lives on Boca Raton and we have witnessed things like this repeatedly at her mall as well. We saw a girl who was 8 (I later struck up a conversation with her mother who told me her age) who had on *full* make-up and was carrying a Louis Vuitton bag. I felt so sorry for this little girl b/c she was so pretty and just didn't look like a little girl at all.

I guess you have to just shake your head and be thankful that your children don't have mothers like that :).

[Vajrastorm]

Confession time:

Aine has her own Coach piece.

[Marisa6826]

A purse? Or something like a dipe bag? ;)

-m

[kaitlinsmommy]

I am so disappointed in Gap right now. I thought they recently had cute stuff and I loved their newborn things but now they've plastered their stupid logo all over everything. They've always had plain cute onesies & now the onesies have a stupid decal thing that says Babygap. It really bums me out.

[Vajrastorm]

A key ring, just for her. Pink leather butterfly, garnished with real keys. So that I can use *my* keys without her throwing a fit. My leather key fob is one of her favorite teethng toys. We live near a Coach outlet, and so it only cost around $8. I thoguht it would be funny for her to have such a fancy-schmancy brand, and the butterfly is very girly and sweet.

[Marisa6826]

Well, that's acceptable. Every girl needs to start somewhere. ;)

-m

[jd11365]

Stripper on her shirt???? My jaw is on the floor! I also hate those pants that have words on the backside...look at my butt Mr. Pedophile! And I know and love the Short Hills mall! :) I always tease that it's too high class for a food court. ;)

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
May '03

[1ceng1]

I frequent the Short HIlls mall as well and it is also not unusual to see pre-teen (I mean 12 year olds) wearing Tiffany jewelry! I've been going to this mall all my life and it is definately getting worse as far as children trying to look like adults is concerned.

[mum to chloe]

I must say that I have no problem whatsoever with Coach or LV bags on teenagers (much nicer than glitter and plastic IMO).
A STRIPPER tshirt on an 8 year old makes me very angry at that poor girl's mother - that's just sick.

[Marisa6826]

Ah, yes. The Tiffany charm jewlery. I see it there all the time.

I'm at this mall on a regular basis, and it amazes me what I see there...

And as far as whether or not children should be walking around with LV or Coach bags, my feeling is that when they're old enough to pay for it (without Daddy's credit card), then they can have it.

It makes me sick that these kids walk around with such a sense of entitlement. But honestly, it's their parent's fault.

-m

[Imperia]

I have heard of Short Hills but never been there, isn't it in New Jersey? It sounds sort of similar to Valley Fair in San Jose (my favourite mall ever, droool!)

I think it is utterly disgusting to market or allow a child to wear clothing which attempts (and probably succeeds) in making them into sexual objects. If you are over 18 and want to dress like a ho that's up to you, but as a parent you need to (if you care) put your foot down about such things. My DH and I have already discussed this and when Maddy becomes old enough to pick out her own clothes she will be allowed to do so as long as we approve them first for the ho factor. I could care less if she wants to dye her hair purple (I used to dye mine burgundy so what can I say!) and wear a burlap sack (I beieve clothing to be a form of self expression) so long as she is clean, and doesn't look like a little hooker. I plan on having a firm discussion with her about how other people perceive you via your appearance (not fair, but they do!) Wow, now I sound like MY mom (shudder).

Imperia

[mum to chloe]

Mum's got a credit card too! :)
Seriously though, no one likes people that put on airs, but if you're going to buy a bag (or whatever) why not buy something to last?
I don't think that trashy clothes are appropriate (esp. for children) but I would have a hard time disliking someone based on their choice of handbag! I really don't get that

[karin4]

Go Imperia! :) I absolutely agree. My kids can do whatever they want with their hair (and yuck, you should see what my 14-year-old son is doing with it these days!) and I don't think I'd even go crazy about a few (key work being few!) piercings, but my daughter will not dress like a slut, and my son will not wear t-shirts with offensive or demeaning slogans. Luckily, it's not been an issue so far. I did refuse to let the aforementioned 14yo buy a t-shirt with the playboy bunny logo, but he didn't protest-- just kind of laughed and said something like "I thought you'd say that."

And isn't it scary to hear your mother come out of your mouth??!!

[bluej]

I am so very very lucky that at 10 years old, Alex still lets me pick out all of her clothes. She has a few Hello Kitty tee's that she picked out, but otherwise I do all of the shopping. I use to want the preppy look to be back in when she hit Jr. High/HS but all of this talk about pedophiles makes me think that a pleated little skirt and polo shirt (sort of the school girl look) might be their every fantasy! Yuck!

Seriously though, who the hell MAKES a tee that says 'stripper' for a child?! That's disgusting! And who BUYS it?! I can't for the life of me imagine me standing in a department store, seeing this tee and saying 'oh how CUTE is this! I HAVE to buy it for Alex!' And I can't imagine Alex WANTING to wear it! She would be mortified!

[Marisa6826]

I completely agree Imperia. Short Hills is in NJ, BTW.

I've not heard of Valley Fair, but the nickname for Short Hills is little Rodeo, if that means anything. Their anchor stores of Nordstrom, Needless Markup (Neiman Marcus), Saks FIfth Ave, Bloomingdales and Macy's. I still wonder how Macy's made it in there...

The stores include Fendi, Prada, Burberry, Christofle, LV, Cartier, Tiffany, etc.

It's great fun just to go people watch ;)

-m

[colleenfs]

I used to go to Short Hills with my mom when I lived in NJ. Very classy place.

I am a former middle school librarian, and I was often offended by what the girls were wearing. It's just as bad in the elementary schools. What are the parents thinking?

For my own little girl, I started to get worried when Julia outgrew the 24 month sizes. Once they hit the toddler clothes, there is not a lot to choose from if you want your daughter to look like a little girl and not a "tween."

I'm probably only going to get Julia's clothes from Hanna, Gymbo, Lands End, Talbots, Rugged Bear, and Janie and Jack now that they are adding a size 4. And I may just have to learn how to sew!

~Colleen
Mama to Julia 1-10-02

[ginamlee]

It's funny that some of you think that a 12 year old with a Coach bag is innappropriate.

Think about what you like to buy for your babies. You want the best: Hanna Andersson, Baby Lulu, whatever brand it is that floats your boat. But, by the fact that you are here in this forum, you like the best quality stuff that you can possibly afford. It is no problem putting high end baby clothes on mommy's or daddy's credit card, right?

Well, once that baby is 12, they are still your baby. And, you still want the best that you can possibly afford for them. If your 12 year old baby wants a Coach bag AND you can afford a Coach bag, that is exactly what you are going to get for them.

My oldest is 14 and will a freshman in high school this coming school year. She attends a private school and has a dress code that involves having to wear polo style shirts. Last year, they could only wear a small handful of colors. As high school students, they still have to wear the polo style shirts, but they can wear any solid color of their choice.

Now, we are far from rich. I'm a stay at home mom. But, today I just dropped $500 on Ralph Lauren polo shirts (I bought every color they had in her size.) at $40 each and a couple of Ralph Lauren button down shirts at $50 each. Why? It is the brand that my daughter really wanted and the quality is good. Besides, the kid has to wear these things every day and she might as well have exactly what she wants. (By the way, this was the discounted price at a Ralph Lauren outlet store...better than the regular store price, at least.) Frankly, I wouldn't spend that on myself (even though I wear a ton of Ralph Lauren stuff...my MIL buys nearly all of my clothes...I guess I'm HER female baby that she never had...and she wants the best for me, too). But, this is my 14 year old BABY that we are talking about here. And, I still want the best for my baby.

Believe me, you will, too.

ETA: I'm with you on the hoochie mama stuff, and so are my girls. They see kids dressed the way you describe and even they think it is disgusting. My 14 year old won't shop at Forever XXI and doesn't really think most of the Express stuff is appropriate, either. Her taste runs more toward jeans and tees for kicking around. For nicer, she's Ann Taylor Loft or RL. I guess I'm fortunate that she wouldn't be caught dead in the scary clothes I see. I wouldn't buy them for her anyway, but at least there is no arguement. We are totally on the same page on the clothing issue, thank goodness.

[mum1day]

I was going to chime in about RL being the only brand that has tasteful clothes that transcend trends. I really forsee it being the only brand I put on my teenage daughter and maybe Ann Taylor. Everything else is garbage and inappropriate. I'm not puritan, believe me. As long as I am paying for my children's clothes, they will not wear inappropriate clothing.

BTW, ITA about wanting the best for your children...I was thinking that if DD wanted a nice purse, a tiffany charm bracelet, etc. and we had the means to provide it, I would give her anything within reason, of course.

[Marisa6826]

Gina-

I'm sorry, but I think there's a significant difference between a $25 dress from Hanna Andersson and a $130 handbag that is, whether your choose to believe it or not, a status symbol.

It's wonderful that you're able to drop $500 on clothes for your DD because that's what she wants. I'm sure that if I'm able to provide that way for Sophie and her sibling I will *within reason*.

Aside from the fact that your DD will likely be able to wear those clothes for many years to come since she's likely close to her permanent size (and still pass them down to your other kids), I agree that it's a good investment. It's also great that your MIL is willing to pick up the tab on your clothes. I can't even get my ILs to visit Sophie and they live 20 minutes away - but that's another story.

I live in an area where there is an overwhelming sense of entitlement, and I think that's where I find the problem. Nobody NEEDS a Coach bag or a Tiffany Charm bracelet. It's when these kids expect and demand it (and their parents give in, whether from a sense of guilt, or because they don't care, or because they'd rather not put up with the whining of "so and so has one, why can't I?") that I think is a really, really crappy way to get it. And I'm sorry, unless it's for REAL emergencies (like stuck somewhere and can't get home - not a sale at Saks), no 12 year old needs her own credit card.

I was raised in a single parent household. Everything I got, I worked for. My mother scoured the racks at Marshall's and Daffy's to make sure my brother and I looked the "part" and wouldn't be singled out. Everybody thought we came from a rich family based on our appearances. What they didn't realise was that it was common for us to come home to a house with no electric. I am very, very fortunate to have a Husband that provides for us and is able to let me stay home. And don't think for a minute that I don't realise how good I have it.

We intend to provide our children with everything they need - whether it's private school or designer clothes on their backs. BUT - what they want, they will earn. And frankly, I resent your inference that I"m only interested in bashing the little rich kids at the Short Hills Mall when I'm carrying a Coach bag myself. I'm a little deeper than that.

-m

[Little Ladybug]

With regard to the parents of the 8 year old who let her strut around the mall wearing a shirt that says "stripper," my sincerest hope is that she fulfills their dreams and actually grows up to be a stripper. Hee hee. :)

[Marisa6826]

Yikes! ;)

Patrick (which also happens to be my brother's name) was born on my birthday! What a wonderful day it is :)

-m

[Little Ladybug]

Thanks! It was certainly a good day for us! :)