Nursing : one breast or two?!

[etwahl]

A friend lent me The Baby Whisperer book and I've been reading the section on breastfeeding. In the book, she recommends the following:

day one: feed all day, whenever baby wants (5 min each breast)

day two: feed every two hours (10 minutes each breast)

day three: every 2.5 hours (15 minutes each breast)

day four (and thereafter): begin single-side feeding - 40 minutes maximum, every 2.5 to 3 hours, switching breasts each feed.

Her reasoning is that the milk from the breast is delivered to the baby as follows:

Quencher (first 5 to 10 minutes) like skim milk

Foremilk (starts 5 to 8 mins into feed) more like regular milk, high protein good for bones and brain

Hind milk (starts 15 to 18 mins into feed) thick and creamy, all the goody-goody fat is (the dessert that helps baby put on weight)

She says if you switch, you're baby isn't getting hind milk, which is particularly important in the first weeks. Also that by switching our body will stop producing the hind milk.

It makes sense, so I'm just curious if others follow this pattern. I've read a lot about people switching back and forth (say 10 minutes on each breast).

I also just received my Sears book on Breastfeeding, but am trying to wade through the pile of books I have before this baby makes an appearance :)

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[Momof3Labs]

I'm not a big fan of the Baby Whisperer, and this is only one reason why.

The whole thing about timing feeds is, in my understanding, old practice. In my opinion, you have to watch your baby, not the clock. That said, I fed from one breast per feeding almost exclusively until about four months. Then, Colin's weight gain had slowed down, so I began offering the other breast after he was done with the first one.

When I say that you have to watch your baby, you want to learn to distinguish between nutritive sucking (eating) and non-nutritive sucking (NNS, or using mom as a pacifier). Nutritive sucking involves regular swallowing, and you can see the sucking action if you look near baby's ear. Colin's NNS is shallow, and he swallows very infrequently. When he does that and doesn't go back to nutritive sucking, I take him off and, if he still wants to suck, give him a pacifier. He usually isn't still eating after 40 minutes, but sometimes he is, especially if he is tanking up for the night! And I don't see the point in taking him off if he is still eating.

My suggestion would be to put away the Baby Whisperer book and only read it if you are bored, and then only if you can do it with a sense of humor. If you want a book about comforting a newborn, try Happiest Baby on the Block - boy, I wish that I had read it before having Colin! We could have used its advice in the hospital! For bf'ing, I've heard that the Sears book is very good but haven't read it myself.

Hope this helps!

[egoldber]

I know a lot of people like the Baby Whisperer, but I have to say that the UNHAPPIEST three days of my life were when I tried to follow her advice. Sarah was miserable and starving, the poor thing. This was before I realized she had a palate issue and was about to lose my mind because she was still nuring every hour to an hour and a half at three months. But her one size fits all advice has been the end of many a nursing relationship.

My advice would be to put away the book and just do what seems right. Some people only offer one breast and their baby is satisfied. Some people need to offer two. Let your baby be your guide. But the clock is your enemy when breastfeeding. Don't watch the clock, go by your baby's cues and you'll be a lot less stressed. If I were starting over again, I would just put my baby in a sling and let her nurse whenever she wanted without worrying about the clock.

Of course, I can say this now in hindsight! :)

[nohomama]

Until recently when I began the process of weaning, I always fed Lola on demand rather than on a schedule. Until she was about a year old and my milk supply tappered off a bit, I nursed on one breast per feed for exactly the reasons you mentioned above. Having not read the book, I can't comment on the rest of her advise but the information on how milk is delivered to a nursing baby is good or at least accurate.

[LisaS]

Just a side note on Baby Whisperer: I read this book and all the other routine / scheduling books. They kind of all went in one ear and out the other until I had a real live baby to apply them to.

First off, as you will see when you read this book and the other books - there are definitely 2 schools of thought - Sears "baby wearing" and "demand feeding" and BabyWhisperer, Baby Wise and Contented Little Baby all into "scheduling" and "feeding and sleeping routines". Only you will know which theories you agree with and what you are most comfortable following for you and your baby. You probably won't know until he or she comes along.

I actually read both types of books and pre-baby, thought Sears sounded great - all nice and lovey, but with a baby IRL, wow did I LOVE schedules and just found that it made all of us much happier and DD ate better and slept better when we were consistent.

That said, I found the Baby Whisperer to be good for 3 things:
1) The chart on baby body language and what it means (i.e., pulling ears = tired, etc - a lot of useful info in here) and the chart on different types of cries (I thought it was a load of bull when I read it before DD was born...how can she know that 3 long cries meant hunger...) but sure enough, it was true to form - the book just helped make sense out of a lot of beginning things that nobody thinks to tell you.
2) Her advice on talking to the baby like a real person - respect. Nobody else really talks about that and I think its nice.
3) EASY makes sense - for you and for the baby. Definitely good to try to distinguish between eating, awake time, and sleeping with a newborn...otherwise, it definitely mushes into one big blob of time.
What I don't like about The Baby Whisperer is her tone - makes it seem like every baby falls into one of her categories which is just not the case.

I did try nursing the Whisperer way, but found that I ALWAYS needed to offer both sides - one was never enough for my little piglet.

I actually think that Tracy Hogg's suggestions for nursing the first few days are really good. MY DD slept A LOT in the beginning - 4-5 hr stretches the first few days - day and night...and with all the feed-on-demand advice I was getting at the hospital and following, my milk production was not stimulated enough and I didn't have enough of a supply for her when she finally did wake up and get really hungry...so I had to supplement even at the hospital b/c she had low blood sugar. Throwing away the clock - in theory sounds nice - and might work for some people, but IRL, can be dangerous. Babies don't always know what is best for them - that is why they have parents to help them. I was able to BF w/supplementing (and many tears b/c of it) for 3 months, but think that if I had regulated her feeding in the beginning, I probably would have been able to do it for longer.

Actually, even better than BabyWhisperer and even more conducive to successful BF, I think, is The Contented Little Baby - I read this book before DD and thought she was a schedule Nazi, (feedings are at certain times, as are naps) but after a few weeks of definitely uncontented little baby, I reread it and WOW did it make sense - I felt like I was seeing the light - it was the most practical advice I had ever heard - yes, strict, but nobody actually follows it to the letter. I only wish I had followed it from Day 1.

[lisams]

I totally agree with Beth. I tried following The Baby Whisperer's advice on a few issues, and became very frustrated and so did baby. It wasn't worth the tears.

I agree that you should feed baby on demand, rather than by the clock. I followed my baby's lead and she would pretty much empty one side, pop off and then want the other side. She always "pops off" when she is done. I don't time it, just follow her lead since she knows when she has had enough. Sometimes one side in enough for her.

Hope this helps!! You'll know what is best for your baby better than any popular book!!!

Lisa

[COElizabeth]

Tammy,

I think it really depends on the baby. I started out trying to nurse on both sides but then switched to one side after a few days because I was worried about the hind milk. In fact, I sometimes fed from the same side two feedings in a row (back when he was eating every hour or so) in hopes of getting more hind milk in. James occasionally goes on both sides now, but usually just one, and usually only for 5 minutes. In his whole life there have been only a few times when he has nursed for more than 10 or 15 minutes, even if he hasn't eaten in 8 hours (at night). But he has been gaining weight fine, so he must be getting enough, and I quit worrying much about the hind milk. My sister's babies, on the other hand, were marathon nursers (both sides, really long feedings). She says they were actually eating all this time, not just sucking, and they were both VERY big babies.

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[mamahill]

Lisa did a great job of summarizing the good points of The Baby Whisperer. First of all, it is definitely NOT for everyone. I fed on demand for the first few weeks. Then I read this book and learned about watching for cues and I began to realize that sometimes I was feeding her when she might just be tired. We went to a 2.5-3 hour schedule by about 4 weeks.

Also, I know that some people say to alternate sides, but it just didn't work for us. Yes I worried that she wasn't getting the hind milk, but it got to the point where she didn't want the one side anymore and would fight it and fight it until I switched sides and then she'd go at it ferociously again.

One thing that made me feel better was when I pumped and after letting it sit for about 30 minutes (in the fridge) you can actually see those three layers she talks about.

Also, like Lisa said, take all the information in with a grain of salt. Definitely get all the knowledge you can, but file it away so that when you want to try something new, you'll have it. And if it doesn't work, move on to the next thing.

What worked for a couple weeks for us would suddenly be thrown for a loop when we hit a growth spurt, teething, etc. And when that happens, come back and repost and we'll all brainstorm on a solution!

[sparkeze]

I don't mean to sound so militant but maybe I am.

Scheduling can contribute to failure to thrive! If you happen to have a sleepy, not-so-vocal baby and you feed only on schedule your baby may not get enough. If you decide to schedule, wait as long as possible to do so. You need time to get your milk supply established (approx. 3 months) and your baby will grow like wildfire during the first few months. They need a lot of breastmilk, and since their tummies are tiny they can't eat a lot at once. So they need to be fed very frequently since their stomachs just can't hold enough for 3+ hours of nutrition. If your baby is a newborn and sleeps longer than 3 hours during the day - wake the baby and nurse. At night, you can just let them sleep as long as they will. I highly recommend the Sears' book on BF. As well as "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding" by LLL and "Attachment Parenting" by Granju for starters. And if you have a lot of time to read I also recommend "Our Babies, Ourselves" by Meredith Small. Newborns may even have to be woken up while nursing to continue. When my DS was a newborn we kept him awake by rubbing a cold washcloth on his face. I had an epidural in labor and DS was a pretty sleepy baby for the first few days. So I kept him awake with the washcloth for at least a 15 minute nursing, usually 10 minutes on one side, then 5 on the other. Of course you don't have to keep the baby awake, but if you can get them to eat until their stomach is full they're more likely to sleep longer than if they just snack and then get hungry again in an hour. We had so many problems with BF - I couldn't get a good latch after he was born and because of that he had jaundice on the day we left the hospital and we saw a LC reglarly for a month. I nursed him every 2 hours and he cried and cried constantly! My friends who didnt have problems with BF had babies who cried MUCH less because they were nursing constantly. IMO, constant nursing is better than an inconsolable newborn!

At the newborn stage you should always offer both breasts. If you offer the second and the baby just falls right to sleep, that's fine. As your baby gets older you'll know more clearly if they want both sides or if they are satisfied with one. As far as hindmilk goes - if your baby isn't gaining weight then they're not getting enough hindmilk. If you nurse on demand, you shouldn't have to worry about it. The foremilk is mostly milk that's already in your breast. The hindmilk is what comes after the let-down. Generally you always want a let-down at every feeding. If you fed your baby 30 minutes ago and the baby wants to nurse again, then you may or may not depending on how hard the baby is sucking. If the baby is sucking hard, it means hunger. Soft barely noticeable sucking means comfort. Either one will increase your supply and as long as you're willing, you should allow the baby to comfort suck.

So I do sound very militant, but I have received so many benefits from BF. For one, I've lost all my pregnancy weight plus some, without having to diet or exercise! That was enough for me! But it just makes parenting easier. Who knew how hard it would be to be a mother? Not me! For me, BF makes it so much easier. I'll step off my soapbox now...

[AngelaS]

I'm from the other camp. I've fed both of my babies on a schedule and have had great results. I've never read the Baby Whisperer, but I'm very good at knowing my baby's signs and interpreting them correctly.

I've always fed from both breasts at every feeding. I have a LOT of milk and can't stand the empty breast / almost exploding breast thing. Makes me crazy! LOL I feed from one side until the baby stops and takes a rest. Usually this is about 5 or 8 minutes into the nursing session. If you observe your milk then, it's hind milk---white and creamy. That's when I switch to the other side and let dd nurse until she's full.

YOU know your baby and you know when they want to nurse and for how long. Read your baby's signals and you can tell what they need. I have book that says, if it's been less than two hours since the last feeding, they probably just need to suck and a pacifier is sufficent. Sorry, but my nipples are not pacifiers. LOL

The key thing to remember with any book is to use your brain. We're all intelligent enough to do that. :) If it doesn't sound right, don't do it. If it does, try it and maybe it will work for you. :D

[LisaS]

Hmmm - after speaking with many doctors, midwives and LCs, the advice I received was that sleepy babies should be woken - and actually need to be fed on a schedule (3 hourly), not demand - since they aren't demanding enough on their own and therefore won't thrive.
And that a feeding routine (which can be flexible) is a good thing
because it helps you learn your babies hunger and tired cues, as well as give you a chance to rest.

Your body needs rest in order to make milk - if you're feeding every hour around the clock, chances are, your baby isn't getting a good meal - and therefore not filling up enough to sleep long periods - and you end up in a cycle of constant nursing and not enough sleep for mother or baby. The best feedings for me (and many others) were always first thing in the a.m. when I was the fullest b/c I had gone 5-6 hours without feeding and had a good nights sleep - I never had to supplement after a.m. feeds. Demand-fed babies are often cranky at night because the mothers milk supply drops during the day if she doesn't have a chance to rest so her body can re-charge. So the baby is hungrier at night and also tired which makes for crankiness. The other thing that can happen with constant nursing is overfeeding and gassiness - scheduling can actually help with colic when nothing else will. Breastfeed babies need about 3 hrs to digest a full feed - less than that just isn't enough for their tummies to process what they ate. Other potential problems with demand feedings I've heard of are moms saying - the baby is crying - give him a boob b/c at least it stops the crying - but really, he's just tired, but sucks anyway for comfort, gets some milk - not hindmilk, but foremilk, which too much of will upset his stomach - and make him gassy. Clearly it doesn't happen all the time, but often, when moms are tired from constant feeding and not enough sleep, this can end up happening.

I was also told that comfort sucking actually does not stimulate milk production - proper nursing does - if the baby isn't nutritive sucking, he's not stimulating let-down, which is what sends your body the signal to produce more hind-milk - and it does take most bodies a few hours to do this. So, if you want to let your baby comfort suck, that is fine, but it is not neccessarily helpful to milk supply. If anything, it can cause sore nipples, which is not beneficial to bfeeding.

Definitely read Womanly Art of Bfeeding - but take that w/a grain of salt as well - it is VERY militant - no bottles for the first 12 weeks (just not practical advice for everyone - if you're willing to pump once a day, you can have enough EBM in a bottle that someone else can feed the baby once at night and you can get a longer stretch of sleep). And the other negative part of the book is the implication that if you don't have enough milk, its b/c you're not trying hard enough. After meeting with several LCs, waking DD after 3 hrs during the day to feed, and still needing to supplement, I was told that some women just can't produce enough milk - it is a medical fact that some people just do not have the capability - the LLL and Womanly art make it seem as if it is the mom's fault, when sometimes its not.

Also, re: losing weight - it actually doesn't happen for most until after you wean - most people lose a bulk in the beginning, but retain an extra 10lbs of fat or so while they're nursing - I actually gained weight b-feeding. One of the LCs told me I wasn't eating enough calories to produce enough milk - so, I ate and ate and ate in my effort to prodcue more milk...and went from
8lbs to lose post partum, up to 15lbs...the weight loss is a great benefit - but don't count on it happeneing immediately - once you do wean, you will see it, but usually not before then. I do think it definitely helps with the initial weight loss and shrinking your uterus.

How much of this is actually affected by nursing with 1 breast or both at each feed, I don't know - but BF is a hot topic with lots of opinions on all ends of the spectrum. Just read as much as you can, take in all the info and then make an informed decision that you are comfortable with - and don't feel bad if you decide to change along the way - plenty of people think 1 method will work for them, but it doesn't. And while scheduling isn't the most popular end of the spectrum today, it does work for lots of people and has plenty of benefits for both mom and baby.

[parkersmama]

First I'd like to comment on how friendly this discussion has been. I've seen this topic so hotly debated before that their were lots of angry words and hurt feelings. Reading this thread shows me how great you all are and how tolerant of other people's ideas. Thanks.

That said, I will say that I also fall into the feed on demand camp (with a few minor modifications!). You may have seen me post that Dr. Sears' "The Baby Book" is my bible for child-rearing so you'd probably have guessed that! LOL!

Especially when feeding a newborn, I think it is very important to let them completely drain one breast before offering the other. This means do not switch every 10 minutes or whatever. After your milk comes in, you'll be able to feel a letdown (tingly, full feeling...you'll never forget it once you've had one!) and the baby will be audibly swallowing so you'll know they are getting milk. I nurse on that same side until the baby's swallowing slows to almost none. At that point, I almost always switch to the other side and at least offer that breast. Sometimes they will drain the second breast, too, other times it's just a few quick swallows and they are finished (that's a good time to pump that 2nd breast if you want some milk stash for another time). Keep in mind also that all baby's are very different and nurse for different lengths of time and different lengths of time between feedings. Both of my kids (so far!) have been fast nursers...done with both breasts in 20-30 minutes. Keeping them latched on for 40 mins would have been pointless for me. It may take you a couple of weeks but you'll figure out fairly quickly how to read your baby's cues as to when and how long to feed. Be prepared that these things will change over time. There will be growth spurts where the baby wants more and more often and times when the baby is satisfied with less. I think most of the scheduling books (Baby Whisperer, Contented Baby, etc) leave out this important point. ALL babies go through growth spurts and if you are keeping them on a strict schedule and not feeding when they demand it you won't be able to keep up with the amount they want during these high-feed times. On the days surrounding a growth spurt you need to feed more frequently in order to build up a larger supply. After a couple of days, feeding frequency will go back to normal and there will be more milk available for the baby at each feeding. I think many moms who schedule feedings end up switching to formula and giving up breastfeeding due to stress during a growth spurt.

Although I feed on demand (especially in the beginning), I also believe that almost every mom/baby nursing pair end up falling into a natural pattern/schedule. It just can't be helped. This is especially true of second and subsequent children because they have to fit in with the family and be on the go more. It seemed like with both of mine they fed round the clock the first few weeks and then I gradually worked them (without any real effort or timekeeping on my part) into a schedule *that worked for us*. I think it is key to make up your own pattern that suits you and your baby. How can some supposed expert tell you what's going to be best for you? What if you have a high-needs baby? What if your baby really tanks up and only needs to eat every 4 hours? Going by what worked for someone else can really be foolhardy. You've got to trust your own instincts. Another scheduling type thing that I've always followed is waking a newborn to eat. I tried to never let a newborn go longer than about 4 hours without feeding. This will help your milk to establish well and make sure the baby gains weight. After about 2 months, this wasn't necessary any more and would actually make the baby pretty mad and harder to handle so I just let them sleep on.

I guess the gist of what I'm saying is that it will be more important than ever before in your life for you to follow your own instincts on this matter. Read the advice, listen to what people have to say, and then make your own educated decision. Trust yourself and your baby (you'll quickly learn your individual baby's cues) and you won't go wrong. If you make a decision that doesn't seem to be working, don't beat yourself up about it. Just change coarses and head in a different direction without looking back. Although I think that reading books for advice is helpful (heaven knows I've poured through my share!) your baby will be unique and you'll have to adapt almost any system you want to use in order to make it work for you. An example of this is that most books say that babies pull on their ears when they have an ear infection. I've had two babies who never pulled on an ear once or even ran a fever but had plenty of ear infections. It just goes to show how individual this all can be!

Sorry to go on so long. The very fact that you're reading up and getting advice now shows how great you're going to do! It's hard not to worry right now (hey, what else is there to do while you wait?!?) but you're going to do just fine when the time comes.

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003

[Karenn]

Several in this long thread have said that your baby will tell you what to do, and I have to agree. Like many of us, I read EVERYTHING I could get my hands on before Colin came. I made a ton of plans and outlined my parenting philosophy in my mind. Among other things, I decided I was going to follow a schedule. I thought Sears was too wishy-washy.

Ha! Everything changed the minute Colin arrived and I made a 180 degree turn! You'll be amazed by how instincts you never knew you had will kick in and tell you what to do and what your baby needs, and it might be just the opposite of what you planned. As he got a little older, we did move towards a flexible schedule, and I found that to be as important as feeding him on demand in the early days. So, now I'm following a sort of in-between road which seems to serve us both fairly well.

(And as for the original question, he nursed off of both breasts at each feeding. He was a sleepy nurser and switching sides seemed to be the best way to wake him up so that he would take a little more milk.)

[etwahl]

Thanks for all the responses! I guess what I've learned from reading this is just to follow my instincts. But what if I don't have those instincts? Well, I'm assuming by what you're all saying that those instincts will just kick in. Let's hope! I guess I can keep reading the several bfing books I have here, but until my little sweetheart arrives, I won't have any idea what it will be like.

Now, let's just hope that time is soon, because I'm so uncomfortable these days I want to explode :)

Tammy,
Mom-to-be Mar 8, 2003!

[juliasdad]

Wow. I've never read the Whisperer, and based on your original post, I'm really glad I didn't. Personally (and I understand that the recommendations are presented out of context), it looks like a recipe for driving yourself nuts.

Your instincts will be just fine, IMO. The only thing to worry about schedule-wise, I think, is to make sure your demand-fed baby doesn't decide to go too long between feedings. Which side, when, how much? Your baby and body will dictate that to some extent, and a consultation with a LC will help, too. But just *relax* and trust yourself. Remember that no one else ever goes into this the first time with any more experience than you have! My DW and I were frightened senseless (probably more me than her), we eagerly devoured as much info as possible leading up to the birth, only to find that with a little background knowledge, we actually *were* able to figure things out and that a lot of it does come naturally. You'll do great!

-dan

PS: as for switching; DW did switch during feedings, and Julia thrived beautifully, staying on the 95% weight and height curve with amazing consistancy. I just think that kids, even newborns, know how to get what they want. :-)

[megsmom]

Reading all the different views posted here reminds me why I was so hopelessly confused in the very beginning! :) I do think every nursing relationship is different and getting all into schedules and things in the beginning can make you crazy. It also may not work. The reality is that nursing is a learned skill from both mom and baby and not instinctive for lots of us. Some babies (and mommies) need a lot of time to adjust to nursing, but other babies seem to know what to do from the beginning. Mine didn't. I did a lot of panicking, but hopefully next time my baby and I can be a lot more relaxed about things. I honestly think that if I'd followed my gut more, that my dd and I would have fared better. I tried to follow too many sources of advice, please everyone, and read way too many books. You do have to be careful with baby researching. A lot of it is very helpful, but at some point you have to focus on you and your situation and chuck a lot of the well-meaning advice.

I guess what I am trying to say, is that reading the books, polling your friends, going to classes, etc. is good but at some point what you have to do is really follow you and your baby's lead and not worry so much about following everyone else's rules. This applies to much more than bfing. Parenting is A LOT of trial and error. For most moms I know, we all started out with these grand visions of how things were going to be with nursing and the like and did a lot of revision in the end.

Jen
mom to Meghan 7/13/01

[AugBaby]

There seems to be a couple of different references to scheduling. If you refer to not letting too much time go between nursings as "scheduling" then I agree. I know someone posted that LC's and midwives recommended scheduling nursing and I find that incredible and disappointing. It goes contrary to the nature of breastfeeding. That is, if they are referring to the more commone definition of scheduling as referred to by The Baby Whisperer. Babies are all different, and some will need to nurse for longer or more frequently. Having known babies who can gulp down all they need in five minutes and others who need to nurse for 45 minutes in the beginning, I think that scheduling is a dangerous concept. Most posters have mentioned that you should follow your instinct and follow the lead of your baby. Ignoring your baby's request to nurse because it doesn't fit someone else's time schedule is contrary to both. I know that I eat at a different pace than dh and take in quite a different amount. I think it's sad that someone would deny the differences in personality/ability to babies because they aren't old enough to speak for themselves.

As for switching breasts, the scientific definition that you outlined is correct, but remember that each woman and each baby is different. It isn't so much a "timed" pattern as a quantity pattern. When the foremilk is gone your baby will pull the hindmilk. As I mentioned, some babies have a much stronger pull than others and some mothers have much more foremilk than others. If a baby is getting too much foremilk s/he will have green foamy soiled diapers and gas. If your baby doesn't and is gaining weight, having the correct amount of soiled diapers, then you and your baby are doing fine.

In the first months I found that dd would propel her head down from my shoulder to the side which she wanted to nurse from during her burping break. I felt like I was watching a National Geographic special when she would do it. Obviously, I'm much more of a "follow the baby" fan than schedule fan, even though I wouldn't have guessed it before I had her.

Just want to mention one more thing - someone posted that "on demand" babies were more cranky. I've found quite the opposite to be true. Except for the few women who can not produce enough milk, which is in no way related to how often they nurse, a woman does not run out of milk. It is a continuous process as your baby nurses. The few truly scheduled babies I've known were rooting on me and everyone else and fussing until the time when the mom would nurse them/give them a bottle.

I think Juliasdad did a great job of summing it up by saying to do what comes naturally to you and your baby.

[bnme]

I just wanted to add that I single-side fed. I would do it for about 20 minutes and then switch if he still seemed hungry. I am just mentioning this becuase I NEVER felt let down, or could tell if I was full or empty, or could tell if he was actually swallowing. At first I was sure there was nothing coming out and he was starving (found out not the case at his weight check-he was checked out of the hospital at 7lb1oz and 3 days later 7lb9oz and had gained 1 whole pound 1 week later). Almost everything you read says you will feel this so since I didn't I assumed there was no milk.

As almost everyone said, go with what seems natural for you and what seems to be working for the 2 of you.

Oh, and I read the Baby Whisperer while I was pregnant and did not find it to be as rigid as everyone says...maybe becuase it has been a while since I read it? I found it useful, and I think she reccomended a flexible schedule which is really driven by your baby's needs..though maybe that was just how I interpreted it. All in all, I think it is good to know the different view points.

And yes, thang god, there is an instinct that kicks in!
:)

[spu]

Hi Tammy,

There's alot of really great information in the posts above. You should post the same question on mothering.com. They have an amazing discussion board on breastfeeding, and many of the posters are LLL leaders or LCs. I'd be curious to see what kind of feedback you get.

I'm in the camp of 'on demand'.

In my own experiences nursing my 2 babies, now 7 mos old, I, too, read alot and worked closely with LLL and my LCs at the hospital, and still maintain close contact with them. It helped me alot to get a good understanding of milk production and supply and demand. I nurse 1 baby on each side. In the beginning, I would switch babies to the other side at the next nursing, but now I give them the same side for a few nursings, or all day, and switch sides on the next day.

Why? I've noticed that my babies have completely different sucking styles and if I switched too often, the softer sucker (charlotte) would be getting mostly foremilk. Though, if Else is done eating, I occasionally put Charlotte on Else's side to finish up any hindmilk.

As far as milk production goes, if there's a sucking baby, milk is being produced, and milk is constantly being produced after the breast releases all the stored milk between feedings. If you wait too long btwn feedings, there may be less of a proportion of fore/hinkmilk. Waiting for the breasts to 'refill' from what I understand, is a bit of a myth since production never stops and there's never no more milk...

My ped. said to avoid raising a 'snacker' or a 'grazer' and when I tried to follow his advice, my babies gained very little between their 2 and 4 month visits (less than 1 lb in 2 mos!) So, I began nursing more on demand and keeping 1 baby per side. At a weight check 2 wks later, they gained 12 oz! Plus, some babies, as mentioned in other posts above, have weaker digestive systems and need smaller meals more often.

oh yes- as far as comfort sucking, that's a personal decision. Whenever I let my babies stay on for comfort (they've never unlatched...) I always have another strong let-down.

To the point of waking babies, in the beginning, it's important to keep them eating. As mentioned in the above posts, this may be the only time you watch the clock. Some babies get so tired, esp. at first, that they may not wake to eat. Some babies might do just fine not being woken up. You'll know when you meet your own little one and learn their eating/sleeping habits.

As far as trusting your instincts, I can't tell you how true that is. You will know your body and your baby better than anyone else, and you'll even doubt what the experts tell you to do! Read, read, read, and then make your own decision. Plus, remember that it's a learning process. Back in the old ages, grandmas, and great-grandmas and new mommies would share breastfeeding techniques and guidance as it's a learned process. Even though it's the most natural thing on earth, it still takes time, patience, and flexibility.

I'm counting the days for you! (and I'm sure you are too!!) It's great that you're so informed beforehand! Good luck!

susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte & else

[Magda]

My LC told me to let DS eat all he wanted an one side, burp him, and always offer the other side. Like seconds. As for scheduling, we fed DS as often as he wanted, but if he didn't demand a feed with in three hours, we would offer him something to eat, even if this meant waking him up. After about three weeks, we let him sleep as long as he wanted through the night. During the day he settled nicely into demanding a feed every three hours. We could anticipate when he was going to be hungry and help thoes instincts along.

elaine

[emilyf]

Well delurking because this topic is so interesting, I read so much about demand/scheduling before the baby was born and found it all very confusing. Reading others experiences really helped me.
I will say that we started things out on demand and it did not work for us! My ds would happily spend 24 hours a day with my nipple in his mouth, and until I set up a schedule similar to the baby whisperer we were both miserable. Now he is on a pretty regular 3 hour schedule and sleeping 9 hours at night (he is 3 months old) Breastfeeding is a joy and he is a very happy baby.

The one part of the baby whisperer (and babywise) that I really wish I had ignored was the part about getting your baby to fall asleep on their own. When Charlie was about 6 weeks old I tried this for about a week. I tried letting him cry (terrible but worked) and I tried soothing him and putting him back down a la the baby whisperer-what a joke. I gave up and went back to rocking him, nursing him to sleep and letting him nap in the swing or the bjorn. I asked my ped about this and she said babies are developmentally more ready to get themselves to sleep around 3 months. Well, sure enough this week he has learned how to suck his thumb and can easily put himself to sleep that way.

Anyway, great thread and as others said- all babies are different, just keep trying different things and you will find a rhythm that is right for you guys. And to answer the original question I feed both sides.


Emily
mom of Charlie born 11/02

[parkersmama]

When reading your post I was thinking "six weeks is way too early...more like 3 months" and then you got to that part! LOL! I didn't try to get my oldest son to go to sleep by himself and around 9 months he was staying up until midnight and keeping us from going to bed! It was horrible. At that point, I looked around for a solution. I knew that crying it out wasn't an option for us so I settled on getting a routine down and working with him on falling asleep in his crib with me there to "help". After about 3 nights of the same routine and me guiding him to sleep, he was falling asleep on his own. At that point, I became a big believer in the set bedtime routine! With our second son, I waited for him to get out of the newborn sleeping/eating around the clock thing and around 3 months old I started a routine with him. It worked like a charm *with no crying*!! He has always been a great sleeper. I've explained my methods to many a desperate, sleep deprived mom and everyone has agreed that they work like a charm with minimal heartache for all involved. It's always made me wonder if those "cry it out" experts have ever honestly dealt with a baby who was doing this?!

Denise
mom to:
Parker, 9/1/1997
Wesley, 3/9/2000
and #3 (a girl!) due 4/29/2003

[sparkeze]

I do really agree that each mother and baby should do what works best for them...but are you really following your instincts if you strictly schedule feedings? Chances are either you read it in a book or someone told you about it because I think most moms who follow their instincts would feed their baby when they seemed hungry, not when enough time has passed on the clock.

I think a lot of people equate demand feeding with constant feeding. It's true that the first few weeks a baby fed on demand will nurse a lot, but once they're past the newborn stage there are very few babies who want to nurse constantly at 3-4 mo. I'm not talking about moms who generally go a certain number of hours in between, but if their baby is really fussy or crying before that time is up they feed them, I'm more referring to moms who won't feed their babies unless the allotted time has passed, no matter what. Demand nursing refers to reading your baby's cues and nursing the baby when they want to nurse. To me, scheduled nursing seems like the mother knows the baby wants to eat but is deliberately refusing to feed the baby until a certain time. I think that most of you under that perspective would not be strict schedulers. And it seems like a lot of babies who are fed on demand settle into a routine after 6-12 weeks. Of course a few of those babies may settle into a no-routine routine, but I don't think that's the norm.

I feel really strongly about this because I wish I had nursed my son more when he was a newborn. I could not believe how much time he spent crying and if I would've just nursed him all of those times instead of thinking "well, 2 hours hasn't passed yet so he can'tbe crying because he's hungry". I'm sure he wasn't always hungry, but nursing is a lot more than just eating - it's comfort for a baby who was probably traumatized by the change in environment from womb to world and the whole labor and delivery.

So anyhoo, I just wanted to let that out. I hope no one feels offended in any way because that's not my intent at all. I just hope that someone can learn from my mistake so their baby won't have to cry as much as mine did. I just didn't prepare for BF beforehand so I didn't know what to expect.

[egoldber]

Sparkeze, thank you for saying so much more eloquently what I tried to say above! I too wish I had nursed Sarah more and wonder now if I would have been able to breastfeed longer if I had done so. I drove myself crazy with the "it hasn't been X hours yet and all the other babies are going Y hours" stuff. I also think that the books make it sound so easy, especially that dratted EASY plan, and I know that I personally was not prepared for how hard breastfeeding could be. At the time, I thought I was the only one in the world with these issues. I wish now I had just followed DD's cues more closely and not worried so much about how long it had been or what she was supposed to be doing. It certainly would have been a lot less stressful. :)

[emilyf]

I think some of the division in schedule/demand has more to do with language than actual practice. When I say schedule I am referring more to the order of how things happen-Eat, activity, sleep. I don't think ds was able to figure out for himself what he wanted initially, and so I was nonstop nursing-I was giving him supplemental bottles and was really doubting my supply.
Now that we are on a routine, there is much less guesswork and he seems much more content (some of that is the age I'm sure) I don't have to give supplemental bottles and he is taking great naps and sleeping all night.
That said, if he wakes up at 10 and his next scheduled feeding is at 10:30 I will certainly go ahead and feed him-it's not so much about the clock, more about the pattern of how our day goes.
Emily
mom of Charlie born 11/02

[Melanie]

Not a big Whisperer fan myself, but some people swear by her. Anyway, what she said about the types of milk is right. I think she probably has you starting out on both sides for the purposes of your body starting to produce milk and to lesson that first-engorgement (ouch)! I have been a single-side feeder almost from the get-go as Ds would immediately fall asleep, but keep sucking, unless I switched him, then he wouldn't wake back up. It's worked well for us and your body will evetually figure out what you're doing and make milk appropriately.

Mommy to Jonah