Breastfeeding out on the town

[mcmorfit]

I've only breastfeed Lucy outside of our house once, and that was at a breasfeeding support group, so I kind of expected to feel comfortable. Some girlfriends have suggested practicing "covering up" with her at home.

Do any other mums have suggestions how they bfed out and about? I'm already plotting the stores that have nursing areas into my journeys. As well, I haven't purchased any nursing clothes, just have a lot of button down shirts, but am thinking of getting a nursing tank to wear underneath. I'm pretty comfortable at whipping the "girls" out, but realize that someplaces won't be!

Thanks,

Ellen
Mamma to Lucy 2/27/03

[Rachels]

I found that this got easier with practice, too. The more I breastfed in public, the easier it was. Once your baby gets hungry enough times while you're out, your comfort level with just feeding her will increase. But here's what helped me: I went to lots of mom's groups and breastfed there, where it felt safe but was still good in-public practice. Then I nursed in places like BRU-- but in the glider section, not the nursing room. Then in restaurants, as long as I was sitting in a booth-- and so on. The less nervous I got, the easier it all was. And nobody ever went, "Oh my GOD! That woman's BREAST is out! Everybody LOOK!" The only comments I ever got were few and far between, and all supportive. And it stopped bothering me that somebody might not like it. If it's appropriate to put Victoria's Secret models on billboards and on television, then I'm not too worried about discreetly feeding my hungry baby, KWIM?

Also, try nursing at home in front of a mirror. I think you'll be surprised how little shows. Most people don't notice that I'm nursing. I actually found that nursing tanks reveal more than regular clothes. It's easier to just lift up a t-shirt, really. As for button-downs, if you unbutton from the bottom rather than the top, your breast won't really show.

HTH!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[jojo2324]

I agree with Rachel. In the beginning it was nerve-wracking. I would drape a blanket over my shoulder, but then I couldn't see my nipple or guide his mouth. So I ended up ducking my head under there too, but then the blanket wasn't big enough for the two of us and would just fall off anyway. Soon after I went without the cover-up. I also never wore any nursing clothes (bras included). And I never got any comments at all...Believe me, I was ready to let loose with a whole lotta yelling if anyone approached me with a "tsk, tsk." Fortunately, I never had to do that. :)

Actually, talk about the other end of the spectrum...The other day I got my eyebrows waxed and he was pitching a fit. So the lady who owns the salon said, "Do whatever you need...I don't care!" She was really cool. I picked him up, popped him on my boob, and she did her tweezer work around him! I know that that may be pushing it a little far for some (most) people, but I had absolutely no qualms about it. My sense of modesty flew out the window after childbirth. Good luck! :D

[abigailsmom]

I have found regular shirts work the best for us. (And reg twin sets!) Not extremely baggy or tight shirts. Too tight and you feel like you gotta shimmy to get your boob out and too loose and you have a yard of material to hold along with everything else.
We have actually been very bold lately... (according to MIL) I nursed Abigail in the Ped waiting room and in Surgery waiting room. The one bit of advice I can offer is beware of the distracted baby. Abigail is at the age that if she *THINKS* there is something interesting going on... Pop... off she goes and she looks around which can leave one certain boob hangin' in the breeze. But a good sense of humor can get you through any of these situations!!!

[Rachels]

Your MIL thinks the ped waiting room is bold?! I don't get this older-generation-fretting thing. Hungry babies need to be fed. Sigh....

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[C99]

I must be in the minority here, but I've breastfed Nathaniel in public many times since he was born and haven't bothered w/ special shirts (even button-down ones) or covering up with a blanket. I usually BF in a lounge or dressing room, if available but I've also BF in cafes and restaurants. My breasts are fairly small so not much of them is showing once he latches on, but we have been using a nipple shield (weaning off now -- yay!) so if someone is staring they'll get a full view (plus a glare from me) but I otherwise haven't had problems.

hth

[C99]

>worried about discreetly feeding my hungry baby, KWIM?

off-topic, but what does KWIM mean?

[mcmorfit]

Excellent ideas - thank you all. It hadn't even occured to me to undo the buttons from the bottom! Man, I think I left some part of my common sense on the delivery table. Anyhow, I'm armed and the girls are ready thanks to these suggestions.

Ellen
Mamma to Lucy 2/27/03

[Rachels]

Sorry. "Know what I mean?" :)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[KathyO]

Something I'd never considered as well was posture. An article on getting comfortable with breastfeeding in public showed two photos - in one, the mother is hunched over the baby and her head is ducked down... which brings your eye down to whatever she's looking at. The other showed her sitting with a straight back, relaxed, looking at the person she's chatting with, and it's true - your eye is drawn up to her face, not the boob with feeding baby attached.

Now, I know you have to look down to get things all arranged at the start, but after that, it's amazing how many people simply won't notice, if you sit like anyone else!

Have fun,

KathyO

Oh, and I'm with the others... I breastfed all the time in public, and nobody ever gave me even a cross-eyed look, let alone a comment or anything like that. Understanding waitresses will sometimes even make a point of bringing you an extra glass of water!

[teddy]

What helped me BF in public was having some nursing clothes. That way, I could be discreet but still feed my child. I learned how to nurse during the winter so I wanted to wear warm clothes, not button down shirts or Ts. I didn't know anyone else who was BFing at the time so all my advice came from magazines and books. Now, at 4 months old, I still mostly wear nursing tops when I go out.

Some things I've discovered about nursing clothes:
1. Nursing tops are not stylish. Forget about finding nursing tops that look like they are from the Gap, J.Crew, or Ann Taylor (where I usually shop). No one makes them. I invested in some basic Motherwear.com tops. Great exchange/return policies. Motherhood stores also carry some. Nursing dresses are even worse. They look very matronly!

2. A nursing tank top goes well under this season's "hoodies."

3. Blissfulbabes.com is an awesome website for nursing clothes. I just discovered this site. They are the closest I've found to offering cool nursing clothes. I just bought the Lynn wrap dress for a wedding and I love it.

4. Practice nursing in your nursing tops in front of a mirror.

[parkersmama]

I agree with those who said special nursing clothes aren't that big a help. I thought they would make it easier but for some reason I struggled more with a nursing top than with a regular shirt. I do always wear a nursing bra but have mostly given up on the nursing shirts. I did find that having a nursing dress helps because otherwise you're pretty much stuck with wearing skirts and tops when you need something dressier. Regular dresses can be extremely difficult to nurse in! Also, check out www.onehotmama.com I haven't ordered any nursing clothes from them but I have some maternity clothes there that get a lot of "Oh, cool!" comments.

[egoldber]

I personally found it easiest to nurse in a bra that I could just push the cup to the side or up (rather than any sort of cup release) and a regular shirt. The one nursing top I had was such a pain I never bought any more. Just a T-shirt worked fine for me.

And practice latching on in front of a mirror. For me, that was the hardest part. Once she was latched, nursing was very discreet.

HTH,

[mamahill]

I just wanted to agree with Kathy's posture comment. I had read that as a bfing mommy, either look proudly around, meeting people in the eye and smiling, or just whispering/talking to your baby (but not hunched over) and just avoid other people's looks. I did both, but I must say that I never got a scowl. On the contrary, most other moms just smiled back knowingly. Most others didn't even realize what I was doing, or at least didn't care. And the only mothers' rooms I liked were Nordstrom. Otherwise, I just plopped down on a bench and let her have at it. I kept a blanket handy for those moments where she would pull off and my nipple would take center stage, but I didn't stress out too much. Of course, this was after we were comfortable with the latching on (maybe 2 months?). Those first couple months I swear you need three hands (one to hold baby, one to hold you, one to hold your shirt/blanket back...

Don't worry, you'll be a pro in no time!

[nigele]

Ellen,

I remember being nervous about BFing in public when Tom was newborn but now it is second nature. I never bought any nursing clothes and have managed with whatever I happened to be wearing. I do own three nursing bras though, which have been wonderful. We took an 8 hour flight to England and I wore a t-shirt and a zippered sweater, which worked wonderfully. Tom is now at the stage where he is easily distracted and when I nurse him at his eye doctor's office, he turns to see every person walking by and every little noise. This does leave me exposed and even though I wish he wouldn't do it, as Joanne said, I lost my modesty in the hospital after he was born! When he is hungry or upset, I no longer care where I am, he is all that matters and if I offend anybody, it is their problem, not mine.

[spu]

I nurse my twin babies all the time in public. I love the montherwear nursing tops and I wear bravado bras. No one suspects a thing. Everything stays covered, so it makes it real easy to get the baby latched on and if they fuss or fidget, you're still covered.

As folks mentioned above, act normal. Eat, talk, etc. and no one will even give you a second look. If they do, it's usually because they're happy to see another breastfeeding mom!

susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte & else

[simplemama]

i got this nursing apron, if you will, that worked very well for me. it's a large square cloth with a strap. you put the strap around your neck, but the key thing with this is that the upper side of the square has some kind of plastic and forms a semi-circle (instead of collapsing and adhering to your upper chest), thus enables you to see your baby while nursing. in the meantime, the square part shields you from the prying eyes.

i got this as a gift, but i'm sure you can find similar products online.

i never bothered with nursing clothes. i just wore comfortable, loose-fitting t-shirts or sweaters that i can just pull up. shirts with buttons never worked for me; i found them more revealing than knit tops when it came to nursing.

go for it, and if anyone gives you trouble, tell them that you're much more covered than some of the pretty young things with skipmy tank tops and super-lowrider short shorts.

i used the apron a lot, but i eventually got so comfortable (and goot at discretly nusring) that i would just pull up my shirts and totally feel okay. practice makes perfect!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

Doesn't the apron make you feel like you have a big flashing sign that says "Hey I am Nursing A Baby Under Here, Everyone Look!"

:)

...Karen
Jake age 12
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[SASM]

Hi Ellen!

I am still quite new to the nursing-in-public thing. Thought I would mention dressing rooms. If you are still kind of uncomfortable in public, or just want some peace and quiet, dressing rooms are usually an option. I have only *really* BF in public, outside DRs and Ladies' Lounges, once in a restaurant. I don't feel uncomfortable in public ~ it's just that I am still trying to get the hang of refastening that #*$?@ nursing bra one-handed before I am really out there!!! I have actually had a lot of compliments about breastfeeding "in public" :-)

Good luck! :-)

[MartiesMom2B]

>>go for it, and if anyone gives you trouble, tell them that you're much more covered than some of the pretty young things with skipmy tank tops and super-lowrider short shorts. <<

Heavens, I agree. If it's ok for teenagers to show their thongs and plumber's crack in those jeans then who cares if someone sees a little nip or breast.


Sonia
EDD 4/14/03

[mattmom]

I breastfed my son for almost 15 months. I was never quite that comfortable breastfeeding in public, so I used to breastfeed in my car, dressing rooms, Nordstrom dept. store's mother's room (awesome), and bathrooms. My son was also the type that was very easily distracted, so I couldn't count on him for coverage.

I wasn't into nursing clothes, so I just wore regular tops that I could easily pull up, since I wasn't going to be showing anything to anyone anyway! Plus, I used Olga's "Mommy-n-Me" nursing bras with center front snap. To me, that was a lot easier and faster to fasten than the regular nursing bras that fasten at the top of the cup. And, the bra is really similar to a regular bra, unlike some nursing bras. Later on, I just used regular bras with flexible cups that I could push aside.

[Melanie]

>>I don't feel uncomfortable in public ~ it's just that I am still trying to get the hang of refastening that #*$?@ nursing bra one-handed before I am really out there!!!

Try thr Playtex underwire alternatives. I got them @ Target and they are a cinch ti fasten one-handed!


Mommy to Jonah