Sleep problem

[Eilly]

Not sure which thread this should be under. Anyway here goes. My DS is now 8 months old and BF. He has never taken a bottle. My big problem at the moment is sleep. Since birth DS has never really napped during the day other than 15 minute catnaps and these always after dozing off on the breast. Every time I have tried to put him down he instantly wakes up and starts crying.

I am trying to encourage daytime naps but find that he won't fall asleep unless I nurse him. He absolutely needs to nurse to fall asleep during the day.

In the evening, after his final nursing I am able to put him down and he stays asleep (well, often wakes up and cries a couple of times in the first hour but is easily quietened in the early evening). He then wakes up around three times during the night wanting to nurse. My husband now has to go and comfort him at these wakings as, if I appear, he insists on nursing.

I am finding the days tough as it is impossible for me to do much as he is always awake (has been since birth) except when he nurses and dozes off but then I'm stuck in a chair! I envy all those moms whose babies take 2 or even 3 hour naps morning and afternoon.

I have tried walking him in the pram, driving around with him and rocking him to sleep in my arms then putting him down. Nothing works. Often I rock him for up to 45 minutes, get him to sleep in my arms and then gently put him down only for him to wake up 5 minutes later. I have tried lying on the bed with him, nursing lying down and then easing him off the breast and trying to slip away. Invariably though as soon as I take my nipple out of his mouth he starts crying and reaching for me and is not easily consolable. I am beginning to feel like a human pacifier.

I am so exhausted and frustrated at being able to do so little during the days that I am at the point of using the Dr. Ferber "cry it out" technique to see if this works -- even though I don't really like the idea. Has anyone out there tried it? Does it work? Anyone else out there have a baby who doesn't sleep (my son since birth averages 8 to 9 hours in a 24 hour period).

All advice welcome! Thanks.

[mamahill]

Oh, sister, I feel your pain! My mom actually just bought me the Ferber book, and I have yet to read it since Ainsleigh has been sick. My problem is that Ainsleigh will not go to sleep without being rocked. Thank heavens she is small for her age!

I have read Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child," and found it VERY helpful. It talks a lot about the importance of sleep, and the difference between "good" and "bad" sleep. It isn't so much a CIO technique, but there may be crying involved. I refer back to this book on occasion.

So this post isn't very helpful, but I just wanted to commiserate and share my experiences thus far. I know there are other moms out there who will have better advice, and have gone through "sleep training" as it is sometimes called.

Hang in there - you ARE doing a great job!

[August Mom]

I can relate! Everyone commented from birth how alert DS is. They didn't know the half of it. My DS generally slept from 10:00 p.m. to 7:00 or 7:30 a.m. for the longest time with no naps or maybe a 10 to 15 minute nap after nursing. I decided that DS needed to take at least one nap each day, so I started imposing a nap time on him. I picked a time (between 1:00 p.m. and 2 p.m. for us) and put DS in his swing. He almost always falls asleep in the swing. After about a week or so, he got used to it and started acting tired around the same time each day. That at least gave me a little time to myself. He generally sleeps around 1 hour at that time now. I have noticed that now that DS is more mobile (i.e. crawling and pulling up) he gets tired more easily. He now seems ready to take a nap at around 11:00 a.m. as well as 2:00 p.m. and occasionally also wants to sleep late in the day around 5:00 or 6:00 p.m. However, I still haven't perfected transferring him to his crib or PNP without him waking. He generally takes any naps in addition to the 2:00 p.m. nap in my arms. He does well at night and now sleeps from 8:30 p.m. to 6:30 a.m., nurses and then generally goes back to sleep until around 8:00 a.m. So, hopefully as your baby becomes more active there will be more sleep.

[Karenn]

You're definitely not the only one with a sleepless baby! Sleep has been a big challenge for us too. We've called Colin "Our Boy of Perpetual Wakefulness" and "The Sleepless Wonder" among other things. We've worked really hard on sleep and it's slowly getting better. We've used a combination of Weissbluth (the book Mamahill mentioned) and Ferber. I am one who *HATES* the whole cry it out thing, but it got to the point where I'd tried all the no cry methods and he was still waking every 10-45 minutes so I felt like I had to do something. For many of my friends, Ferber worked like magic: their kids cried for an hour each night for two nights, and then started sleeping 12 hours straight. It definitely improved things for us, but the results weren't quite so dramatic and took a bit longer. Another option is the book called "Sleeping Through the Night" by Jodi Mindell. She still advocates crying, but some people call her "the kinder, gentler Ferber." Good luck!

[egoldber]

I really recommend the Weissbluth book. He has a lot of good info about sleep in general. I would start with the daytime sleeping issue before I worked on nighttime. Many times as soon as you get a solid daytime nap routine, nighttime sleep may fall into place.

If you do not have the heart for CIO, then don't even try. Studies say that CIO does work, but only if the parents are consistent. The WORST thing youc an do actually, is sometimes CIO and sometimes not.

Does your DS have a lovie or comfort item? If not, you may want to cultivate one. It has worked miracles for our sleeping, although I live in dread fear of ever losing our lovie.

HTH,

[Eilly]

Glad to know I'm not alone! It helps! I have just been given the Weissbluth book so will definitely read this alongside the Ferber book and take it from there. (trouble is I am so tired that in the evening, when I try to read them, I invariably fall asleep!!).

We are trying to cultivate a luvvie. He doesn't seem particulary interested yet. Does not favor any particular cuddly toy but we are working on it.

We often refer to our son as the IBFH (insomniac beast from hell!!!!) Poor little thing. Hopefully things will get better soon. I am feeling more optimistic tonight and plan to bed down with Ferber and Weisbluth!

[August Mom]

Just a lovie idea here: http://www.stephanenterprises.com/Store/Products/ProductsView.cfm?cfid=86843&cftoken=52024763&EntryPoint=&Start=1&CurrentPage=1&View=1&ProductId=816&CategoryId=94&SearchValue=

My nephew has this and it's his lovie. There also is a duck in this style. She got hers at Buy Buy Baby.

[chrissyhowie]

Hang in there! Our hearts definitely go out to you!

Have you tried using a sling? While it may not solve the sleep problem, it may help you get more done during the day by letting you have a hand or two free. I didn't think I was the "sling type" until I was having trouble putting DD down and not getting anything done. Using a sling definitely helped in getting her to nap more too since she liked the movement of me walking around with her.

It's amazing what we do for our kids, isn't it? :)

[jojo2324]

Oh, we've been there! We're still there! :) DS is always heading in the right direction, but then usually gets a cold or something.

One thing that was working for us was to feed and then if he fell asleep, wake him and play with him. I could usually put him down after about 15-20 minutes without much fussing.

Just so you know, we are still struggling with sleep issues, so don't take my words to heart and hate me if they don't work! Gannon never naps for more than 20 minutes, and if he does I freak out that something is wrong and usually wake him running up the stairs. ;-)

[sparkeze]

It is really hard when a baby just won't sleep!

Have you read the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Pantley? I never followed it religiously but there were a lot of good suggestions that helped me a lot.

How long do you wait after he's fallen asleep to lay him down/sneak away? When DS was around 8 mo I had to wait about 10-15 minutes after he had fallen asleep to either try laying him down or sneaking away away nursing him on the bed. Now he's almost 13 mo and he falls into a deeper sleep faster.

What I used to do is nurse DS in a sling walking around for him to fall asleep. But whenever I tried to lay him down he would wake up so I just held him for his whole nap but in a sling at least you can move around and have one hand free.

Good luck!