Misconceptions about BFing?

[C99]

Donna's post on the Bitching Post made me think that this would be an interesting topic. What are some of the misconceptions of nursing you've heard?

I am incredibly lucky in that my mom, MIL and most of my friends have breastfed, so I had a lot of support in BFing, but I have had random strangers tell me things that are patently UNtrue about BFing. I had my haircut at a local salon and the receptionist (who was 6 mos PG at the time) volunteered to watch Nate during the cut. He started crying b/c he was hungry and so she asked for a bottle. I told her that he was breastfed and she said, "Oh you have to feed them constantly when you breastfeed!" I tried telling her that, no, it was more like every 2 hours, but she would hear none of it and later repeated herself.

[MartiesMom2B]

I haven't heard any misconceptions, but both of my SILs think its gross. Whatever. I believe in people's choices but they don't need to think I'm gross for BFing, and they probably think I'm doing it because I don't want to spend the $$ on formula.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[blissful mom]

Sonia, even if you *were* doing it to save $$ on formula, that's a good reason, imho. The stuff is so expensive now that there's actually a thriving black market for it where I live. No joke. Some grocery stores won't even stock the full cases of it out on the shelves. You have to pick out the can sample and take it to the manager!

BF-ing misconceptions; it will make your boobs sag; sex will be gross; you have to use formula, too (how did babies survive before the 1900's?); baby needs iron supplements; If at first you don't succeed, it will never work; colostrum is useless/colostrum is bad for baby. Breastfeeding is selfish because dad/MIL/Mom can't feed baby. It can cause cancer. Yeah, whatever. I've heard all of these things. Also, one woman told me that since my bust hadn't grown since I got pregnant, I wouldn't be able to breastfeed, lol.

I'm glad my SIL nursed my nephew until he was 3. She kind of broke some ground for me! At least I don't have to worry about her or my other IL's thinking it's gross! I feel so bad that you have to deal with that! Good on you for sticking to it!

[ginalc]

We all have some work to do to reverse the damage done by formula companies. I believe the greatest misconception is that Human Milk is inferior to store-boughten formula. That idea was sold to several decades of Moms and still exists today.

I delivered baby #1 in Europe so I missed all the free samples. With #2 I was back in the U.S. and I was overwhelmed with how many samples filled my mailbox. Then they send all those stupid coupons. Like that's really going to put a dent in the outrageous cost of formula!

It saddens me to repeat the words I've heard new moms say in my community. Most of it is misinformation and simply wrong.

"I can't BF because I'm going back to work full-time." *** Even a few weeks of BFing helps baby in so many ways. The colostrum helps to line the intestines with beneficial flora and antibodies!

"It is so much easier to bottle feed - I can SEE how much baby is getting." *** OK, the best way to truly determine if baby is gaining is to use a scale. BFing Moms also count the # of diapers used in 24 hours. All of my BF babies outgrew their 0-3 month clothes by 4 weeks of age. At 6 months of age, my BF DS is 29.5 inches long and weighs 19 lbs 9 ounces. It's more genetics than anything.

"I want the kids to be able to feed baby in the car because we're on the go so much." *** BF babies can bottle feed too!

"It would be too much work for the daycare." *** Isn't that why you're paying them!?!

"I want to be able to give cereal in with the evening bottle so baby will sleep through the night at an earlier age." *** Cereal isn't appropriate for a young baby, bottle fed or otherwise. It may work with some, but don't count on it working for you. Aspiration is a serious risk when adding cereal to a baby's diet too soon.

"BF babies need to feed more frequently and I just don't have that kind of time!" *** You can't predict how your baby will react to formula OR breast milk. 2 of my BF babies never nursed longer than 6 minutes PER FEEDING!!!

"BF babies have stinkier poo-poo." *** Actually, the reverse is true.

OK, enough already.

Good topic of discussion!

gina, mom to 3
BFing for 4 yrs and counting

[blissful mom]

About daycare centers and breastfeeding;
It's about as much work for the daycare center to use formula. If you send EBM daily, they at least don't have to mix it. At some centers where I've worked, we had to mix the formula daily. Nice that EBM comes premixed!

[lisams]

Let's see:

Breastmilk doesn't have enough iron - False

If you breastfeed you have no life - False :-)

You need to drink cow's milk to make breastmilk -False

You have to eat a bland diet so you won't upset your baby's tummy - False

Breastfeeding is sexual/dirty/disgusting - False

Many women can't breastfeed - False (only a very, very small percentage can't due to medical issues)

When the baby gets teeth breastfeeding will hurt - False

I know there's plenty more, but I guess these are my top most annoying misconceptions.

Lisa

[cara1]

The nurse in the hospital told me to make sure I removed DS from the breast after 10 minutes, and not more, because my nipples would get sore. They did, but that sure as heck wasn't why!

[Jenmv]

I too am lucky that my mom, MIL and most of my SIL's have breast fed so at least I don't here idiotic comments from family.

I once over heard someone say that they weren't going to breast feed "because this is the nineties". Huh? I didn't realize breastfeeding was out of fashion. Maybe based on that logic we should stop eating fresh natural food of any kind and just live on cans of Ensure :)

Also I once had someone explain to me that their 6 month old baby didn't sleep through the night because they were breast feeding. I hated to burst their bubble but my breastfed daughter started sleeping 6 hrs a night at 6 weeks and by 10 weeks was sleeping 8+ hrs a night.

A friend of my mothers(who is in the breastfeeding is freaky and gross camp) made a comment to another woman that was holding my newborn that went something like this: "Watch out she is a nursing baby, she's looking for skin." Huh? Again I'm really not sure what to make of that. It was as if she looked at my daughter as some sort of rooting animal. That really annoyed me.

[Melanie]

The amount of milk you produce depends on the size of your breasts (i.e. smaller-breasted women have to supplement).

[ddmarsh]

I have heard many of the above but also countless women who attempted to BF or who did for very short periods of time say they couldn't continue because they didn't make enough milk. In a way this saddens me more than misinformation from women who don't BF - these are women who wanted to and for whatever reasons didn't think it was working for them.

Another one I've heard several times - you have to bottle feed if your baby has bilirubin - what?? :)

On a different note to this I feel like often times there is such misinformation out on BFing in terms of not really being frank enough about its challenges. I think many women are scared off to try or quit after a short period of time when they hit a bump in the road because there is not enough information out that tells what to really expect. KWIM? Of course BFing is wonderful and I adore the experience but I feel like many of the normal challenges it poses are not often stated as being totally normal and therefore many women end of feeling like there's something *they* are doing wrong. That's why I have had such a great experience here, I have learned so much about the normal challenges - having other women saying such and such happened to them as well and here's how they solved it is so wonderful!

Great discussion -

Debbie
Mommy 3 boys, 1 girl

[sparkeze]

Wow, these are some great misconceptions! I had a lot of support from most of my family to BF, although I still got the occasional - "it's too much work for you to BF, just bottlefeed, then anyone can feed/take care of the baby." Well, it's MY baby and I want to feed and take care of him!!!

I don't have any misconception to add, but I have felt sad on many occasions when I hear a mom say that they weren't able to breastfeed because they didn't have enough milk. I seriously doubt that the 1% of all women in the world who are really not able to make enough milk have all talked to me.

I wish that all women had all the facts right when they make a decision to BF vs. bottlefeed. For me, my experience with BF was so hard at the beginning that I seriously considered weaning. But then I read on the LLL website that just because you wean doesn't mean that you don't have to parent. That really struck a chord with me because i realized that 90% of my hardship was due to being a new parent, not only the BF.

Now that my son is considered to be extended BF, I'm thankful everytime he hurts himself, gets stressed out, or is teething that I can BF him. My life is easier now!

[etwahl]

I think it's possible that some moms might use that reason, that they didn't have enough milk, because they are afraid people in support of bfing might make them feel bad that they are not bfing. We all know it's sometimes easier to lie in certain circumstances than to get involved in some discussion about the truth, for example, maybe they just didn't like bfing, or maybe they didn't want to bf in the first place, which SHOULD be okay! They should be able to admit that without having someone lecture them about how bfing is the "best thing for their baby". I think it's unfortunate that anyone should have to justify their decisions either way (as I have for bfing). For instance, I find myself ALWAYS having to justify my decision to bf to MIL. She keeps asking DH why I'm still bfing with the elimination diet I'm on, because I am probably "passing on my allergies to the baby." This from a woman who tells her son that she smokes because she is orally fixated because she wasn't breastfed as a child. Whatever! Basically I guess I'm saying that my experience has been so far that if you're bfing, people will question WHY you're not using formula, and if you're using formula, people will question WHY you're not bfing. I wish everyone would be free to make their own decision and not have the rest of the world commenting on it :) (sorry, this wasn't meant to be a rant, initially posted because MIL thinks I'm passing my allergies to DD through my milk!)

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[MegND95]

When I was pg with #1, I attended a baby shower for myself and another woman who was also pg with #1. When another Mom asked if we intended to bf, I said I intended to try. The other mom stated, "no, I think it's gross." She said this right after I had just declared that I did want to bf!!!!! I was soooooooooooooo offeneded and shocked. Feeding your baby is your choice, but no need to declare my method "gross."

[Rachels]

Gross?!! Why do people think that the breasts start producing milk after the birth of a baby? It's not accidental. Arrgh.

There was a WONDERFUL thread about this on the mothering boards a while back. Among other things, somebody's grandmother told her that nursing would make the baby turn out to be gay!

Edited to add one more thing I've heard lately: if you don't wean at one year, they'll never stop nursing. Uh. How many nursing college students do YOU know?

Eye roll, eye roll. I'm priveleged to nurse my baby.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[MartiesMom2B]

My ped. said not to let her nurse more than 20 minutes on my breasts b/c I'll become a human pacifier and I'll get sore nipples. I just ignored that. Good thing that I went to a La Leche meeting before I had Martie. I figured that if they are considered the world's experts on bf-ing that I should listen to them.

Hint for any expecting moms who want to breastfeed: Go to a local La Leche meeting.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[Rachels]

So glad you ignored that. The other unfortunate side effect of limiting nursing for a newborn is leaving them hungry! Newborn babies are not as efficient at nursing, and it takes them longer.

Bad nursing advice drives me crazy. What a disservice.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[C99]

Oh, this reminds me of some I heard from the NICU nurses. At the hospital I delivered at, there was a strong and not-so-subtle competition/distrust between the LCs and the NICU nurses, so I have no idea what the truth really is about BFing and premies. Anyway, many of the NICU nurses (usu. the ones who were men or didn't have kids) wouldn't let me nurse Nate for more than 30 minutes initially "because it tires him out." They told me that he should be on a schedule of eating every 3 hours or he would just want to nurse all the time and "you don't want that." Um, well, I don't *now* that he's 4-months-old and weighs 15 lbs, but when he was a premature newborn, I didn't care if he ate 24 hours a day!

[COElizabeth]

I'm really lucky, I guess. No one has said any of those things to me, but maybe I just don't get out enough! LOL! My grandmother told me I was really blessed to be able to nurse my baby because she really wanted to, and it didn't work for any of her three. I am sure if she had been armed with better information and assistance she might have been able to.

Also, my other grandmother told my mom I wasn't getting enough milk, so my mom weaned me at about 2 weeks old. That makes me far angrier than anything anyone has said to me, but I know it was just the prevailing attitude of the times, not my grandma intentionally sabotaging things for me and my mom.

Elizabeth
Mom to James
9-20-02

[C99]

Debbie,

To a certain extent, I think it's hard to be frank about BFing -- just like it's hard to be frank about having a newborn. I mean, everyone knows going into it that it's going to be hard, but you have no idea how hard it's going to be until you start doing it.

[Joyce6830]

When I was pg with my son (who is now 2 1/2) I wanted to breastfeed so badly. I bought a book, took a class from a local lactation consultant, invested in several nursing shirts, etc. The first week it went great. He latched on great right from the start. Unfortunately his weight dropped further below his birth weight than my pediatrition was comfortable with. His first suggestion was formula. I can understand why some people think that when you breastfeed you have to feed all the time. My son would be at the breast for 30-45 minutes and then cry again after about an hour off. I had pressure from Ped and from dh to supplement with formula after only 1 week. Dh just thought we should take the advice of the doctor. I went to the lactation consultant that I originally took the class from and told her what ped had suggested (boy was she mad); anyway she worked with me. I went to her house every other day to weigh him and discuss options, etc. I was supposed to see her until ds was gaining 1oz a week or was it 1oz day??. Ped wanted to see us back after several visits to the lactation consultant. He told me once again that I was starving my ds and that I really needed to give him at least ?oz of formula a day (can't remember how much). I gave in and did start supplementing. THAT WAS THE BEGINNING OF THE END! I cried and cried after I gave him that first 4oz and he slept for like 6 hours straight. I felt like such a failure. I am pg again and due in Sept and am determined to bf this baby until we BOTH are ready to stop. I have already told dh not to even think about or suggest the formula. I have been told by others that I need a new ped but I have been extremely happy with him about everything else. We decided not to circumcize (sp?) and he is great with that while I've had bad advice on cleaning, etc. from other peds. So I really want to stick with this doc for that reason. Anyway, wish me luck with dd due 9/03!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

Good luck to you Joyce :) The most important component for a sucessful breastfeeding relationship is a desire to do so and a commitment to it, and you have that going for you this time.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel 2/27/91
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[twins r fun]

Very well said!

[mspacman]

Biggest lie I heard: "Breastfed babies' poops don't stink." They never met MY little stinker! :)

I also kept hearing that if you gave the BFing newborn a bottle too early (some sources said wait a week, others said wait a month) it would have "nipple confusion" and never BF well again. My milk didn't come in till the 5th day, so my daughter had to be supplemented with a bottle, and I was in tears because I thought for sure she was "ruined". As it turned out, she took to both breast and bottle like gangbusters. Later I heard that you *had* to introduce a bfing baby to a bottle the first month, otherwise it would never drink from one. So it's hard to know what to believe.

[Denyse]

The one that I get SO sick of hearing is that babies no longer benefit from BMilk after 6 months. SO untrue! I've also been told that BFing is gross. When I was born, my mother tried BFing and since I wanted to eat so often the nurses told her her milk was "bad" and I had to be switched. That really upsets me and for all these years, my mother believed that. When Brett wanted to nurse every two hours or more after he was born, she kept saying something must be wrong with my milk and just kept nagging me about it. I finally gave her a ton of info from the LC to prove that he was fine and that she was probably made to switch me unnecessarily. Now she's really upset about it and is my biggest BFing advocate!
My in-laws all think I'm starving him b/c he eats so often.
I've also been told MANY times that it's "just not worth" it which is the biggest untruth of all. It's VERY much worth it.

[MartiesMom2B]

I totally agree with Karen! Good luck!

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[ddmarsh]

You are so right Caroline! Perahps that's just part of the process, learning some of the challenges alongside of all of the wonderful parts of parenting.

Debbie