encouraging self-feeding, holding bottle

[ccutshaw]

Hi,

My son is a healthy 10.5 months old. I have a few questions

1) How do I encourage DS to hold his own bottle? He gets 4 a day - when he wakes up in the am, when I rock him to sleep for his a.m. nap, in the afternoon, and before bed. He can hold his sippy cup and drink water from it, but seems to associate the bottle with milk and me holding him and holding the bottle for him. Should I just start putting the milk in a sippy cup and transition him to 1 bottle at night before bed over the next few months?

2) He has 2 bottom teeth coming in. Am I supposed to be cleaning them in any way? Should he drink water after his night-time bottle?

3) Re: food. He has the pincer grasp and can pick up cheerios and cheese bits,etc. but he won't put them in his mouth. He just plays with them. He will put a graham cracker and sometimes a piece of toast in his mouth by himself and eat it, but otherwise he waits for me to feed him. He doesn't seem to get that he has to put the food to his mouth and let go. If I open my mouth he will sometimes put it in, but he won't let go of it. Sometimes he will let me guide his hand to his mouth with the food in it, but often resists this.

Any advice?

Thanks!

Chris, mom to Owen (11/22/03)

[Rachels]

I'm not going to be able to be much help on your last two questions, and maybe not on the first, but I did want to respond. I am wondering why you want to get him to hold his own bottle. That time of holding and snuggling for a feed is about far more than FOOD. It seems to really facilitate comfort and emotional wellness for the baby, so I think it's great that you still snuggle and rock him during that time. He will soon enough get to the point where he won't consent to be held for that long, but right now, it's really good for him. It's okay to nurture and snuggle in that way. I'd be reluctant to do otherwise at this point. Just a thought...

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[blnony]

Well, here is our experience with these things:
My DD is 13 months old and still won't hold her own bottle. She holds her sippy or straw cup but with the bottle she just wants me to hold it. Which is fine. Its our snuggle time, the only time she wants to be held, and I don't want her driking laying down or in the crib or anything like that, so I don't mind holding it. We are however trying to transition to just 3 bottles a day right now.

Next, you can find training toothpaste and a baby toothbrush at Target, Wal-Mart, BRU and we brush A.'s teeth twice a day. At night its part of her bath routine, and she actually likes to brush. You should start cleaning their teeth as soon as they grow in.

The food part, I can tell you from much experience, takes time. Audrey didn't start self feeding until she was 1. And now, she's a pro and eats any and everything she can get her hands on. We talked with her ped. and others, and the best advice we got was not to rush it or make it a battle. When they are ready, they will start to self feed. I've learned there is nothing in "teaching" this; they will start to get it if you just keep giving them the chance. I also know there have many posts here about this one. This was a very stressful thing for us! :)

Good luck--

[egoldber]

I have to agree with Brianna. Making an issue of it is only likely to create a problem where there likely isn't one. All babies have their own timetable for self feeding and they will do it when they are ready.

For what its worth, my DD NEVER held her own bottle, and there were plenty of times when I wish she would. But it didn't happen. We gave up the bottle at 14 months and, just when I despaired she would never hold her own sippy cup, she started doing so at around 14 months.

Feeding is one of those things where it is almost always better to just let them do their own thing at their pace.

HTH,

[JMarie]

I don't know if you can encourage self-feeding, but we've reached the point where DS does not want anyone else to hold his bottle - he wants to do it all by himself. He will actually push our hands away so he can hold it. Most of the time we'll still cradle him, so long as he's the one in control of the bottle, but there have been occasions where he will kick and fight until we just put him down and he inhales the entire bottle. I think it's just important to take cues from your child and let him set the pace. He'll let you know when he's ready.

Can't help with the teeth - we're still gummy-mouthed here.

As far as finger-food, that's another instance where I'm discovering you just watch for signs of readiness. We're not there yet, but it's starting a little. Apparently, my niece started just past a year, but everyone is different. Good luck!

Jennifer
Mom to Aidan Christopher
01/28/03

[momma_boo]

Hi Chris,

I'm not at the point where I can offer advice on the last 2 questions, but I can share my experience with bottles. Sometimes DD tries to hold the bottle herself. If we show her the bottle when she's getting hungry, she'll reach out for it and grasp it with her hands and then try to put it in her mouth. She usually needs help getting the nipple into her mouth and we still need to hold it at the bottom to get the milk into the nipple, otherwise she tries to suck on it but nothing comes out.

I can understand what others are saying about feeding being a special time to hold the baby. I EBF, so DH tries to be the one to feed her with a bottle whenever we are out since he doesn't feed her very often.

[nathansmom]

Nathan has been holding his own bottle since 5 months. I didn't teach him how he just decided he wanted to hold it. I miss the cuddle time with him but when he's tired or cranky he does want me to hold it for him.

Depending on the night I either clean his teeth with a training toothbursh and paste or give him water in a bottle.

The doctor told me each child develops at different rates and not to push self feeding. Nathan actually perfers to self feed but will sometimes let me feed him.

[ccutshaw]

Hi. Thanks for all the replies to my questions. I don't mind holding Owen's bottle; I love that he still lets me hold him and rock him him to sleep. We are transitioning him to part-time day care and my husband noted that most all of the younger babies were holding their bottles, so it just started me wondering about it. Hearing how much variation there is between babies in bottle-holding and self-feeding is a good reminder to just relax!

Thanks everyone :)

Chris

Mom to Owen, 11.22.03