Moms of babies on the low end of the weight chart/slow gainers

[ethansmom]

How did you cope with your own anxiety re: your babies weight?

Background: Ethan was 5 wks early, and although he was born at 5 lbs 14 oz, he bottomed out at 5lbs 4 oz. We had a lot of difficulty getting him awake enough to nurse effectively and were told to supplement with either EBM or formula. We had to take him to the Dr every other day for weight checks and basically became paranoid. My dear grandpa died right before Ethan's birth, and although he sufferred from Parkinson's and cancer, the official cause of death was failure to thrive. Well, my sister is a huge BF advocate and was always calling me to tell me to nurse more, don't supplement etc., because if I didn't get him to gain weight, they'd classify him as failure to thrive and put him in the hospital. I think the whole failure to thrive thing, plus the stress and lack of sleep really freaked me out. Anyhow, DS finally caught on to the concept of eating and nursing and started to gain weight. He was only 14 lbs 4 oz at 4.5 months and he goes for his 6 month check this Friday.

My DH is tall and lanky, so I really think this will be DS's body type, but I can't stop worrying he's not gaining enough. I just hate when someone tells me he's light etc.

Ok, the point to all this rambling is we recently started solids. I really want him to chunk-up, but I'm really afraid of letting my anxiety influence his eating. I don't want him to become an over-eater just because I want a fat baby.

Any advice?

Thanks!

[lfp2n]

I just wanted to say its sounds like your weught gain is going well. Olivia was 6-13 at birth, and only 14-10 at 6 months, but my ped thought that was great for her. She gained weight really slowly at the beginning and we were forced to go in for weight checks every 2 or 3 days, so I know how horribly stressful it is.
I'm interested to know what she is now, as she's been eating solids for about 5 weeks now and still breast feeding the same amount and to my eyes she suddenly looks a lot more chubby around the face and wrists.

Hope you don't get too stressed out, as it sounds like you are doing everything right!

Lucy and Olivia (3/27/03)

[nitaghei]

Just keep reminding yourself that you have a lean baby, and that is all!!

DS has now dropped to the 10th percentile - he was 17lb 9 oz at his 9 month check up, and he's 75th percentile for height. And I was getting really upset about the weight thing - but my DH is also long and lean, and DS definitely takes after him.

I try to focus on how active DS is, and his developmental milestones. I do keep track of how much he eats (solids, EBM bottles) and how often he nurses, though I finally stopped keeping a log. As long as he's eating well, and is active, and is gaining some weight, I keep telling myself that weight doesn't matter! :)

And I'm pretty sure that DS was 14lbs something at his 4 month check up, too!

If it reassures you, Neel was sitting up at 5 months months, crawling at 7 months and cruising at 8 months. The ped thinks he just burns up calories because he's so busy and has to be EVERYWHERE!! :)


edited to add: DS was 7lbs 2oz at birth, but lost a lot with jaundice, and bottomed out at 6lb 1oz.
And yes, I re-read Satter constantly, as a check on myself - so that I don't get pushy with feeding!

HTH
Nita
mom to Neel 01/05/03
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[malie]

Okay on average "experts" expect your child to

By 2 weeks : Regained birth weight
By 5 months to 6 month : Double birth weight
By 1 year : Triple birth weight
By 2 years : Quadruple birth weight

So while you say your child was ONLY 14 4 ounces at 4.5 months he had more then doubled his birth weight already (of course since he was born early you might want to look at how much his weight around the time of his actual due date to use as your starting point). And yes 14 lbs is on the lower range of the growth charts for that age but being in the lower range doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with that either.

Next time someone tells you he's light say that's because he's so good and pure or well that's because he's the light or our lives.

In the end however since we all want the best for our child, it's hard not to be anxiety when others are making comments. Try to focus on the fact that if the doctor thought there was something wrong with him being 14 pounds at 4.5 months he would have said something to you. Because obviously they did watch him right when he was born, they certainly would not ignore the issue now

I'm sure that Friday can't come soon enough for you. Hang in there

[COElizabeth]

First of all, I know you know this, but remember that your grandfather's situation was completely different! Yes, babies are occasionally hospitalized with a diagnosis of failure to thrive, but I don't think that's at all likely to happen in your case, especially if your baby is growing at all.

Do you feel that your pediatrician is reassuring to you? If not, I would switch. At our 1-year visit, we saw one of the peds in our practice we hadn't seen before, and he was very reassuring and told me that DS's growth pattern (start low percentile, jump up, then drop back down) was actually the second most common one. None of the peds had ever seemed concerned about James dropping back down in percentiles, but he was especially reassuring with that information, and I appreciated that.

Also, I would recommend Ellyn Satter's book Child of Mine: Feeding Your Child with Love and Good Sense for its advice on feeding philosophy. Basically, her rule is that the parent decides what is served, and the child decides what to eat and how much. Some people think sections of the book are biased against breastfeeding, and she does do things like talk about mixing solids with formula, etc. I just mentally substituted BM for things like that and wasn't terribly offended. But I wasn't reading it for any help with liquid nutrition but rather as a guide for approaching solid food, and for that I found it helpful.

Incidentally, I also thought Vicki Iovine had some good comments in her book The Girlfriends' Guide to Surviving the First Year of Motherhood. She talks about parents influencing their kids' eating in negative ways and even about how her mom told her to "suck in" her tummy so she would look prettier in kindergarten (I may not have the story exactly right, but it was something like that). Anyway, she says she thinks we would be doing our kids a great service if we teach them simply to eat when they are hungry and to stop when they are full. That sounds so simple, but I know I certainly don't follow that rule often enough myself!

I hope the 6- month check goes well!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[peanut4us]

I don't know if this helps, but our DD at 7 months was only 14 lbs 15 oz. She was 8lbs 4 oz at birth, then had jaundice, then ate too much so her tummy wouldn't hurt (GERD), so she really gained well for the first 2.5 months. Since then she has kept loosing percentiles. I'm not going to say it isn't nerve-wracking because it has been. But the last time the ped saw her, she's gaine 7 ounces in 5 weeks. And he was pleased. He thinks she's just going to be a slow gainer. She has met all her milestones. And we are just now calming down enough to not worry about it.

If you trust your ped, and the ped's not worried, then relax. If you don't trust your ped, get a new one. And the Satter book really is a good one.

[missym]

I understand your worries; my DD has consistently been on the low end of the charts, and drops off them completely if you do a height/weight ratio. (She was only 15 lb 3 oz today, her 8-month birthday.) I'll second what others have said about looking at your baby's overall health and activity level, which is what pediatricians usually seem to focus on.

Good luck with solids - you might try "spiking" his food with powdered formula if he'll take it. That has helped a little for us.

One of my first posts to the boards was to complain about everyone constantly telling me how small Gwen is... I got some really good advice from others here, if you want to read the thread. Mostly I minded the comments because they seemed like a validation of my own worries. I'm more used to it now, and I still worry, but I don't think I obsess as much.
http://www.windsorpeak.com/dc/dcboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=18&topic_id=1764

Good luck!

Missy, mom to Gwen 03/03

[puglucy]

I second the Ellyn Satter recommendation. I don't agree w/everything in there, but her philosophy about weight gain is excellent & very reassuring. And it sounds like your question is about your own anxiety, as much as anything else. She's great at addressing that.

good luck!


Lucy

[houseof3boys]

I think it is just his body type sweetie! Ryan was 8 lbs 3 oz at birth and now at 5 months (today is his 5 mo. bday) he is 14.5 pounds and I think around 26 inches. DH is tall and skinny so that is what Ryan is too. He is in 75th percentile for height and 25th for weight.

I am sure when he gets the swing of solids he will eat well and chunk up for you. But, I think he is great just the way he is.

[nathansmom]

Nathan was born big and has never taken to gaining weight. Friday is his 9 month appointment and I'm crossing my fingers that we will hit 17lbs. We have worked our way from the top of the charts all the way down to the bottom. I've struggle with weight checks every couple of days and the doctor wanting to run tests. For now we've decided that since Nathan is hitting his developmental milestones and looks healthy that no tests will be ran.

Just remember your not alone.

[McQ]

I don't have any additional advice to give as you've already gotten great advice on the above responses. But I will share my story.

My son was also born at 35 weeks and weighed in at 5 lbs 13 oz. He bottomed out at 5 lbs even. He was jaundice too and spent an extra night in the hospital under the lights. I had a horrible time breastfeeding at first. It was a combination of a very low supply and that he just did not get it. I met with a LC and basically she said that boys take longer to learn, premies take longer and just to stick with it. It took 12 days for him to get the hang of it. And those 12 days were rough. I would try to feed him, he wouldn't get it, so he'd get a bottle of EBM or formula, then I'd pump like a mad woman and was still only able to get one bottle of EBM out a day. Can you say I was a wreck.

Those first few days he was only eating around 1/2 ounce a feeding. But he continued to increase his intake but it wasn't stellar by any means. We too would have to take him to the peds for weight checks. And while I was worried my ped was relaxed and said he was doing fine as long as he was gaining weight and making wet diapers.

So the good part of this story is that he's gained weight beautifully. At each check up he'd gain more percentiles (I think it was 50 at the last check-up). At 7 months he's a real chunky monkey and weighs 17 pounds +.

Once he started breastfeeding I still needed to supplement one bottle a day. I didn't have a hang up with giving him formula. I couldn't keep up with him and he needed to eat. We introduced solids a little after four months. It messed up his sleeping so took a week off then started again. He now eats great. Gobbles everything up. He watches us eat and makes chew like motions. It's too cute.

So I hope it goes well for you & Ethan. Please keep us posted on his progress and let us know how it goes on Friday. You're not alone. We're all here for you.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[suribear]

I know it IS hard. My dd was diagnosed as FTT (failure to thrive) when she was around a year and was off the charts for much of her first 1.5 years, and it made me miserable. Looking back, it's her body type. The girl eats like a pig now and is still skinny as can be. And I never thought of her as FTT as she's always been beautiful, healthy, smart and vibrant, in no way a failure.. plus the traditional "charts" are based on formula fed caucasian babies from the 50s. We don't fit into any of those categories.

Actually, your child sounds just fine! Remember, as adults we are all different. Why should babies all be the same? And also remember that percentiles aren't a test where 100% is the best - in this case I shoot for average :)
Kris

[Jenmv]

I know it's hard not to worry about slow weight gain but it sounds like Ethan is doing great. Anna was 8lbs 3 oz at birth and only weighed 12lbs at 4 months! My ped was never concerned as long as she was making steady progress and meeting developmental milestones. I however was constantly second guessing myself over whether or not I should supplement with formula. Around her third month she weighed 10lbs, she hadn't gained any weight in a month and I was preparing to go back to work so I freaked out and started supplementing with a few extra oz's of formula a day. Ironically enough in DD's case she started nursing better after I did this. I guess my point is I probably didn't need to supplement but I don't think it hurt either. We are still nursing morning's and evening's at 10 months. She did seem to start putting on more weight once she was eating solids regularly but she still only weighed 17.5 lbs at 9 months. As far as over eating I've been told that babies this young will not typically over eat. They'll stop when they are full.

BTW everyone on DH's side of the family is very thin and fine boned so they think she's huge but my family thinks she's tiny. I can't win!

[Jenmv]

AARGH! Duplicate post!

[JElaineB]

I know how you feel! My DS's weights sound very similar to your's. He was born full-term though. Because of supply issues (he was not making enough wet diapers and kept losing weight even though he latched great) I had to supplement with formula and finally went to all formula, which broke my heart. It is so great you were able to keep breastfeeding after your early struggles!

Your son may climb in the weight charts or he may drop again. The highest my son was at was 27th percentile at 4 months. He was 8th percentile at 1 year. But he is developing well and meeting all milestones on time or early. I think that is the main thing to focus on. Does he look like a happy kid? If so you probably don't need to worry about the exact numbers.

I understand the anxiety about food issues! Just remember from now until closer to 1 year his main source of nutrition is breast milk (or formula). Have fun with starting solids and don't worry about how much he eats now. Frankly I find it a little more difficult to not worry about his eating now that he is pretty much on all solids. I want him to eat well and gain properly, but I don't want him to overfeed and end up fat later (like my husband and myself). So I almost have a two-edged sword to deal with. I just offer him a variety of nutritious foods and try not to worry about exactly how much he is eating.

Remember also that not all babies can be in the 50th percentile. There is nothing wrong inherently with the 10th percentile if that is where your baby naturally falls. It sounds like that may be his genetic type anyway.

Jennifer
mom to Jacob 9/27/02

[zuzu]

Thanks for posting this link Missy. I'm starting to get the, "she's so tiny" comments, and it was helpful to read everyone's ideas. Sarah has her 6 month appointment next week, so we'll see where she is, but I'm guessing somewhere between 14 and 14.5 pounds, and her height is probably still around the 75% percentile. Neither DH nor I are tall and thin, so she got lucky! She is hitting her developmental milestones just fine, so I'll try to focus on those. (And as a plus, she can still wear some of her cute 0-3 month outfits.) Two friends of ours have huge boys that are now way off the charts at four months, and they complain they go through clothes too quickly and can't use the infant carseats anymore.

Ethan's Mom--hang in there and try not stress too much. It sounds like he's doing well.

melissa

[missym]

Hi Melissa,

I'm glad you found it helpful; everyone was so great about responding to me, and I really appreciated it. I still get lots of comments, but I just smile and say, "Yes, she's a little one." As with Sarah, Gwen is hitting her milestones just fine, so that makes me feel a lot better about the whole thing.

Also, I've come to realize that if I wasn't worried about her weight, I'd be just as worried about something else - even if I had to make something up!! (I didn't realize the meaning of the word "worry" until the day I found out I was pregnant, LOL!)

Missy, mom to Gwen, 03/03

[calebsmama03]

You have gotten great advice and I'm sure that Ethan is just fine. Remember that the weight charts just show a range of what is "normal" and, as has been pointed out, were normed on formula fed babies years ago. I understand your worry though, as I was just going through this at 8 mos. I would have been completely freaked out if my SIL hadn't mentioned that all of her kids started out 10-15% and sometime before their 1st bday dropped completely off the charts. DS was born at 37 weeks and was 6lb 2oz. At 2 mos he was 10-11, 4 mos 13-5, 6 mos 15-3. We went to the ped for a cold this Monday on his 8 mos bday and he was only 15-7. I agree that as long as baby seems healthy and happy he is fine. Those percentiles are only good for causing worry. And ironically, even as tiny as DS is, I still get comments like "what a big boy he is" all the time! Try not to worry. Ethan will gain weight at his body's pace.
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03

[ethansmom]

Thanks for the great advice! Much appreciated! Ethan is a very happy baby and is meeting his milestones, so I'll try to focus on that.

[C99]

Another vote for Ellyn Satter. And I had a similar experience -- Nate was 5 weeks early and didn't want to eat and was terribly inefficient at it. I didn't have to go for every other day weight checks, but I did go once/week. My ped told me to supplement, which I promptly ignored. By 4 months, he had doubled his birth weight, but I definitely remember those days of peanut-dom. Now, we get a lot of "he's solid" comments because he's right in the middle of height and weight percentiles for his age. He is not a fat baby, but he's not thin either. I definitely think you can see growth patterns of babies by looking at the parents, so try not to worry.

FWIW, solids have not affected Nate's chunkiness at all. He did gain some mass, but once he started to crawl, it came right off again. At 9 m/o, he was exactly 20 lbs.

HTH

[kaismom]

Just another "been there, done that" message :).

My daughter, Kirsten, was quite thin as a baby (and had a big head to boot, runs in the family). She was born just past 37 weeks and 6#, not too bad, and intially she did gain weight well. Then she developed silent reflux (didn't throw up much but would re-swallow the reflux, which made her not feel hungry) and her weight gain really slowed down. She was 50th%tile in length as a baby but not on the charts in weight. At one point I rented a baby scale and was weighing her daily - mental torture for me and probably not a good idea in retrospect. Treatment for the reflux helped her grow out of it by 1 year, and luckily I had supportive pediatricians who kept encouraging me to keep nursing (yes, the opposite of what usually happens!).

Now that kids 1 & 2 are older and still slender, I see that is also genetics at work, DH was very thin as a kid. He is average height but is lean and lanky, all legs. My kids are lucky that they have all inherited his body type, methinks!

I have to say though that it did tarnish my 1st year with her in some ways. When I would go out with my 1st son (and now 2nd son), I'd get all the compliments, "oh what a cute fat baby", but with my daughter I'd get questions - "How old is she??? Don't you feed her???" etc. Those memories have faded somewhat but I remember it took me a while to just be immune to the comments and not say anything. People expect all babies to be big and fat.

Best of luck,

[barbarhow]

We are in the same boat-DS is 75th percentile for height and just barely the 10th for weight. He is long and lean and many people feel they must comment on it. It doesn't help that I have a friend whose baby was born the day before DS who is off the charts for weight-way off-and people think its funny to compare them. I'm not quite sure why its so funny. It sometimes borders on mean-going both ways-some comment on what a peanut Jack is and some comment on how "fat" Ryan is. Either way it never seems nice. They are both reaching milestones appropriately and are both happy and healthy.
Also-I am not sure if anyone mentioned this yet but a previous thread mentioned how the WHO is developing a new growth chart for BFed babies as they tend to be leaner. Wouldn't that be helpful to see-set all of our minds at ease. I think Rachel posted about it a few months ago. HTH
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[ethansmom]

Am currently reading the Child of Mine book recommended by so many, and finding it very helpful.

Our dr's appt was today, and I'm glad to say I felt less anxious. When the well-meaning nurse asked if I wanted to guess his weight, I declined. Why set myself up to feel disappointed? Anyhow, he weighed-in at 16lbs 9oz and remains in about the 25th percentile, so I'm fine with that.

Just hoping he doesn't resume several night wakings since I'm no longer attempting to stuff him with cereal in the evening! ;-)

Thanks!!