Older baby still nursing often at night - ok?

[kaismom]

Baby Stefan (10 months) has never liked bottles for EBM, or otherwise (tried formula a few times to see if it was just that he only liked BM from me, but it didn't make a difference). We introduced him to bottles of EBM around 4 weeks and have tried different brands of bottles and nipples, but he just hasn't ever caught on to them. My other children went to bottles just fine but I guess #3 has to be different :).

Since he doesn't drink that much at daycare, he still nurses a lot when I am around. He does sleep with us and wakes up a few times a night to nurse. I have become used to just kind of turning on my side and nursing him, I'm not sure I really wake up completely every time. The ped thinks I am encouraging this behavior and I should just stop nursing at night, ergo he will be more hungry during the day and drink from his bottles. I have somewhat tried this but it didn't seem to make him like bottles more, so I went back to the night-time nursing. I read on Kelly's AP site that some older babies still get up to 25% of their milk intake at night, and that is normal.

Anyway, just wondering if others have/had similar experiences. Now that Stefan is pushing 1 year, I'm also getting some hints (not from DH, who is very supportive) that maybe I should just wean him. I don't see why I should just yet, since we both enjoy the nursing relationship.

Last thing - we are trying to get him used to sippy cups, he does like to play with them but doesn't drink a lot out of them yet. He loves to eat baby food and "real" food, but the ped says most of his calories should still come from BM and he shouldn't fill up on food. He is not too thin (25%tile for weight and 50th%tile for height) but he doesn't need to lose weight either.

Thanks for any tips,

[Momof3Labs]

He's just reverse cycling, eating more at night because he'd rather have it from mama than a yucky bottle. As long as this is fine with you (and it sounds like it is), then there is no reason to stop what you are doing. The ped doesn't have to wake up at night, so why should they care what you do? If they try to suggest something, just reply "it's not a problem for us, no need to change anything."

We're still nursing at 13 months, and I can certainly appreciate why you enjoy the relationship. There's absolutely no reason to wean at one year, especially since it is working for your family.

How long have you been offering sippy cups? We started offering them at around 6 months, and it was a good three months before Colin caught on to them. Granted, he was younger, but it does take them time to figure them out. Now, he will gladly take water or orange juice out of a sippy but doesn't like milk in a sippy (he has problems with lactose intolerance and doesn't like the lactose-free milk). Try changing what you are offering in the sippy - offer water or a bit of diluted juice and see if that gets him interested in the cup. Also, take the valve out of the sippy so it is easy to get liquid. The First Years take and toss cups work well, too.

It sounds to me like you are doing great, and just need to tune out those who feel the need to change what is working for you!

[lizajane]

from what i have heard from other parents and a few peds, nursing older babies at night does tend to encourage them to eat at night. BUT-if you are happy to nurse at night, then what's the problem? personally, i would not want to wake up to feed schuyler in the middle of the night. i need more sleep than most. but if your family is happy and enjoying the nursing while co-sleeping, then i can't imagine why you would need to stop. probably helps you keep up your milk, too. so my completely un-expert opinion is: if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[COElizabeth]

James was the same way. I am home with him all day, but he often would eat more at night because he was too interested in doing other things during the day. I just night weaned him a couple of weeks ago, at 13 months, but we still nurse during the day. And he still won't drink a lot out of a sippy or straw cup - just plays with them and gets a few sips. I do think the eating at night is partly just habit for older babies, but as others have said, if it doesn't bother you, there's no reason to change it.

Our resident dentist suggested wiping the teeth off with a wet washcloth after nighttime nursings so the milk doesn't pool around the teeth while sleeping, but other than that it sounds like there's no need to change anything.

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[nitaghei]

Ingrid,

Stephan and Neel really do have to get together, again!! :) (Just to clarify: Ingrid and I have known each other for over 12 years YIKES! - and we've been trying to get the boys together for a play date for months!)

Neel's still nursing maybe 3 times a night - which is a real pain for me, because he refuses to co-sleep (our bed's so much fun to crawl around), so I have to get out of my nice warm bed to go to him, or sleep on the floor in his room (which I've been doing recently).

I don't have any advice, just in the same boat! Neel does take 2 bottles during the day, but still seriously nurses at night (not just comfort nursing). And he's in the 10th percentile for weight (75th for height), so I'm afraid of cutting out ANY nursing sessions at all.

Nita

mom to Neel 01/05/03
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[kaismom]

Thanks for all of the advice! Hmm, maybe I wasn't really looking for tips but support :). I guess I'm afraid that if I cut the night-time nursing, he won't make it up through the bottles and will lose weight (or not gain properly). It's definately not just comfort nursing, he really is hungry and will nurse for a good amount of time. Maybe when he is more comfortable with sippy cups and is really drinking out of them, I'll feel more ready to cut back.

[etwahl]

ingrid, sorry i'm late on this, but just wanted to say that i think it's very common for cosleeping babies to nurse a lot at night. hey, if food were that convenient for me at night, i'd probably want it too :) but seriously, lauren actually nurses usually every 2 to 3 hours at night and seems pretty hungry too. she won't just go back to sleep without eating (i've tried) she wants her milk! i enjoy it also, because it's very peaceful in the middle of the night. i say just enjoy.

as far as hints from others go, ignore them! i had a friend tell me the other day that when my husband gets home (we cosleep) that i should go sleep in another bed and get a good night's sleep. i said that even if i wanted to (which i don't) i couldn't, because lauren nurses all night. she said "lauren doesn't need to nurse at night..." i didn't say anything really, but just thought "how do you know what she needs?" every kid is different, and if she's nursing, it's obviously what she needs! so i just do what works for us. and besides, it doesn't bother me at all really. if i weren't nursing, i'd be up to take pee breaks anyway :)

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[Rachels]

It sounds like a great situation, actually. He's reverse-cycling and clearly needs you, and you're able to respect that and respond to him but still feel good in the morning. It sounds like you and your baby are well-matched and doing just fine. :)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[kaismom]

Thanks Rachel - actually I did used to feel pretty exhausted in the mornings but that seems to have stablized. Either I have gotten used to it or I am sleeping more than I thought!

p.s. I keep meaning to mention how cute Abigail is!

[Rachels]

Thanks!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[mycatspaz]

I normally just lurk, but I will post on this! My DS is 16 months old and we all co-sleep. He still nurses. Sometimes it's annoying, sometimes it's not.

When we started on this magical road of my DS's life, I at first wanted to make "it (nurse)" to 6 months...then to 12 months...then to after we move and settle down...so all that's happened and we are still nursing. When do I plan on stopping?? I have no idea, right now I'm looking at 18 months but at that point?!?!?!

I get a lot of pressure from doctors and nurses when go in when I'm sick and get meds. Making sure that my babe gets no effects from meds, ya know?? DH makes comments sometimes about getting "his" boobies back, too.

So you know what I say about that? I always just ask them to please bring me the study that says that BF my 16 month old baby is BAD for him. My son has no problem drinking from a sippy cup, bottle (regular water bottle or baby bottle), regular cup, straw or anything else a person can drink out of.

To my DH, I just tell him, fine, when he wakes up, then it's DH's job to put him back to sleep. Of course, DH would rather sleep, so problem solved there.

IMO, I'll always be standing up for what's "right" for my son. This is just the first issue. I'll be taking issues about school, food, and everything else that comes along.

There are times when BF is a pain, and I do the distract, redirect and offer something else plan. If all else fails, I make sure I'm not sitting down...he never seems to want to nurse if I'm standing up. But that's during the day. Of course, at night, that's a different issue. Sometimes, he wants a drink, sometimes I think he just wants to know that I'm there. If he wanted a drink, would I not want to give him one? I'd rather get the boob out than go and get a cup. If he is seeking comfort, does this mean I won't give it to him? He's 16 months old.....heck, even at my age, I sometimes wake wanting a little comfort!!!

So that's my long post. Sorry for the novel. I guess my whole point is you do what's best for your baby and for you. As another posted said..."if it ain't broke, why fix it??"

Cheers,
Christine

[kaismom]

Hi Christine,

Thanks for writing! It does make me feel better about the co-sleeping and nursing issues. After all, they are only babies for such a short while, right? And he is definately our last baby :).

At this point Stefan has been nursing longer than my 1st two kids, and he shows no sign of wanting to let up. My orginal goal was 1 year but that date is approaching fast so now I'm thinking 18 months, but we'll see! At daycare they seem surprised that he is still nursing, asking "Isn't that formula in the bottles?" - umm, no, this is why I'm still pumping twice a day at work. They will probably think it is strange if I keep bringing in EBM after he turns one year instead of switching to regular milk, but hey why not. Besides a cold he hasn't been sick yet either.

Thanks again for everyone's feedback,