I think my maternal instinct must be broken

[s_gosney]

The saga continues...to recap, DD has been fussier this week than before and has also started spitting up more. She also does this thing sometimes when she's eating where she flails her arms and legs around, waves her head around (with my nipple still in her mouth OUCH!) and just wiggles in general. She usually doesn't cry, but looks clearly uncomfortable. I assume this is gassiness/trying to poop? The other thing she's been doing is being fussy shortly after eating (when I'm pretty sure she's not hungry), but the only thing that will calm her is eating more. This is when she seems to spit up the most. Two times after I've fed her when I didn't really think she could possibly be hungry, she's thrown up (projectile style) and then seemed perfectly content. So, I'm guessing this means she's eaten too much? I always thought (have always been told) that a BF baby wouldn't eat if it wasn't hungry. Is this not right?
So what do I do? I want to feed her when she's hungry, but I don't want to overfeed her either...especially if that's what is making her spit up. Am I just supposed to _know_ when she's really hungry vs just pretending to be hungry? (I know babies can't really pretend...) If so, I'm going to have to borrow someone's sixth sense, because mine apparently doesn't work.
I just need some advice. Sorry if this seems repetitive of my other posts. I'm just so worried I'm doing stuff wrong and that it's my fault her tummy is upset. Also, is she too young to try the gas drops? I've heard they don't really work, but is it worth a shot?
We're seeing the ped on Tuesday for a one-month check, so are there questions regarding this I should be asking him or does it just sound like normal baby stuff? I just want to know what you all think because after my first meeting with the ped, I'm not sure how much I trust him...but that's another story. We'll see how this visit goes.
Sorry this got so long and thanks for any help you can offer!

[jennifer13]

First of all, her tummy problems are not your fault! Babies have immature and delicate digestive systems. It seems like 4 weeks is the time when the gassiness acts up. My DD did the same thing. She wasn't over-eating per se, but the gas made her want to suck, which made her eat more, which made her more gassy (or sometimes throw up) which made her nurse more, and on and on. We started using gas drops around 2 weeks. Sometimes it helped, sometimes it didn't. But you can't o.d. on them, and my ped said to use more than the dosage indicated. It doesn't get absorbed into their system at all. And I hate to say it, but for me eliminating most dairy products from my diet helped the most. It sucked, but it helped. As her system matures you can reintroduce it. I did when DD was 4 months, and it's been fine.

Good luck and hang in there. I know how hard it is. And don't worry about your maternal instinct- that instinct helps you to love and protect, not read minds.

Jennifer
Mom to Norah 5/23/03

[barbarhow]

I'd say your maternal instincts are working just fine. You're asking for help which is the right thing to do. We weren't born knowing all of this stuff and even a book can't tell us everything. Live and learn is what its all about and yeah-ask lots of questions along the way.
Jack used to do the same thing. One night I nursed him-It seemed like forever-and then he did the same fussy thing and seemed to want to eat more. I was convinced that I had no milk so I got him a bottle of formula. He took 4 ounces of it and I thought hmmm. See I was right-he doesn't get enough milk from me. As soon as I had finished berating myself for my inadequate milk supply he barfed. Everywhere. I have never seen so much come out of a little baby. I screamed for DH who was sleeping upstairs (it was 2A) He came running down and said "Yup. Looks like he puked." "Do you think maybe you gave him too much?" My always so very calm husband. This was when I started the pacifier. He would suck on that and settle right down. Eventually he prefered his own fingers.
And the mylicon won't hurt. It didn't seem to work for us, but certainly try it.
When you say projectile-was it really projectile? That would mean it really flew. Sometimes when a baby vomits a fair amount it seems fairly dramatic and "projectile" but really isn't. If it truly is flying a significant distance you should talk to your ped about that as it can be a sign of reflux.
Sounds like you are doing an awesome job. Hang in there-it gets easier.
Barbara-mom to Jack 3/27/03

[Momof3Labs]

To add what's already been said, you might try a pacifier. She might be fussing because she wants to suck, and the only thing that she has to suck is your breast, but when she sucks, she gets milk... thus the overeating and puking. We certainly had plenty of that in the first couple of months! Try a few different types of pacifiers, or if you are dead-set against a pacifier (I was... until I saw how well it worked!), use your pinky finger.

And the gassiness is sooo normal. Mylicon helps some babies; didn't help ours. It's worth a try though. Also, try laying her on her back and bicycling her legs - that helps loosen the gas bubbles. And make sure that you are burping her frequently enough.

Hang in there - it WILL get easier soon!!

[mom2kandj]

Our ped classified projectile vomiting as over 3 feet in distance! DS only ever managed to throw about two feet! Also, take a small cup and put two tablespoons of milk in it and then throw it on your kitchen table. Makes a pretty big mess, but it wasn't a lot of liquid! (another hint from the ped when you swear that your child threw up an entire feeding!)

DS had a pretty mild(though at the time I thought it was the worst thing in the world!) case of reflux that was managed without meds and ended at six months. Just a few tips from a mom who never had enough clean shirts or burp cloths!

Feed often and burp well.
After feeding, don't jiggle the baby a lot.
If you need to change the baby, don't wait until after the feeding. Change before or mid way through the feeding.
Put a wedge under baby's mattress to elevate the head and help the gas bubbles go up.
The baby maybe more comfy sleeping in their infant carseat or swing as the angle is easier on their tummy than sleeping flat.

HTH!

Rose
mom 2 Katie (almost 3!)
& Jack (19 months)

[s_gosney]

Thanks everyone. A few follow up questions...

I'm not thrilled with the idea of a passifier, but not opposed either, but DD doesn't seem to get it. With the in-out of her sucking on it, every "out" it pops all the way out. So, she seems happy to suck on it, but I have to hold it in which kind of defeats the purpose. Will she eventually get it and I just need to keep trying or what?

Second, Rose...you mention not changing right after a feed. DD has a tendency to spit up when I lay her down to change her diaper. And every time I have to wash her hair...ugh. Is this a reflux thing too? I'm just trying to get a grasp on what symptoms we have before I go to the ped. In some ways I feel like I'm on a witch hunt looking for a illness. I don't want to be a crazy mom who thinks her child has pneumonia at every cough, but I definitely want to get it taken care of if there's a legitimate problem. I think I need a shot of self-confidence in my mothering abilities. I never knew every little thing would be such a big deal with me feeling like I need to run a gallup poll before I do anything.

One last run down of the symptoms I've noticed and then I promise I'll stop annoying you all with my question about this...
1.more frequent spitting up...a couple of times more like vomiting (we didn't meet the three feet mark either)
2. frequent hiccups
3. a random cough a few times a day
4. crying right after pulling herself off the breast (sometimes) and writhing around, sometimes arching her back with a unhappy, uncomfortable look on her face
5. fussiness shortly after eating, soothed only by eating more, followed by spitting up
So what do you guys think? typical baby stuff or alittle bit of reflux?
Thanks so much for your patience and help!

[stillplayswithbarbies]

>Thanks everyone. A few follow up questions...
>
>I'm not thrilled with the idea of a passifier, but not
>opposed either, but DD doesn't seem to get it. With the in-out
>of her sucking on it, every "out" it pops all the way out. So,
>she seems happy to suck on it, but I have to hold it in which
>kind of defeats the purpose. Will she eventually get it and I
>just need to keep trying or what?
>

You can try a different shape of pacifier. I had good luck with the NUK brand with Jake. To help baby learn to keep it in, you have to sort of pull back on it like you are trying to pull it out. Baby will suck it back in and get stronger and better at it. Practice is all he needs.

If you don't want to use a pacifier, use your little finger. That is what I did with Logan. Daddy really liked doing it because it was something he could do to soothe her himself, and he really liked that bonding with her that way.

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel Feb 91
Logan Elizabeth Mar 03

[mom2kandj]

My little guy was a gorger who overate at every feeding! For us, the horizontal position was a big NO NO! That boy was propped up at a 45 degree angle most of the time(even in the crib!) We always changed prior to feeding because he overate so much. We even got the ped's permission to limit his nursing time. We watched him for about two days and timed his sessions. We then cut his nursing sessions by about a minute or when he started to lose interest and play. The cutback in nursing time made him much more efficient and also made us much more aware of his true hunger level. FWIW, even with the reflux problems, my DS (born at 8lb 2oz) was 16lb at 4 months. He was nursed til 11 mon and has continued to hang out right around 60-75 percentile for height and weight. As for reflux, it is a continual cycle. It is not a one time occurence type of condition and if you do see signs that it is persisting beyond 7 days, you should ask your ped. When you do talk to your ped, do remember to mention the hiccups and fussiness(which I'm thinking is gas!). HTH!


Rose
mom 2 Katie (almost 3!)
& Jack (19 months)

[jd11365]

I always chime in to support the Gripe Water business...doesn't work for all...but it was a LIFESAVER in my house. I got it at whole foods, but you can order it online at www.babys-bliss.com. I was determined that Kayla had reflux...but she didn't...she was a gorger...would eat until in pain or would throw up...everytime. She wouldn't take a pacifier until 5 months until we tried the Disney ones at Target...with Pooh on them...crazy I know...but if you read some other posts you will find others who have found the Disney pacifiers to be the only trick...they have a bigger bulb for the baby to hold on to...

Good luck!

Jamie
Mommy to Kayla
5-1-03

[KGoes]

This sounds a lot like what DD went through at about that age. We didn't have the spit up as much - and when we did, it was spectacular - but the gassiness and pain with gas was a constant for a couple of weeks. We tried Mylicon (the Kroger brand was like $4 cheaper) and I am not sure that it worked, but it couldn't have hurt. I would let DH burp DD since he seemed to get more burps than I did. Pumping her little legs seemed to help some, too. I also cut out most dairy - I used soy milk instead of regular and kept cheese, yogurt, etc. and that seemed to help (I couldn't tell a difference between that regimine and eliminating all dairy - or maybe I just couldn't give up cheese - it's all a blur). All that said, I think what really helped was that after a couple weeks, her digestive tract matured.
Hang in there! Your maternal instincts are fine and it sounds as though you are doing a great job!
Kelley
DD born 7/03

[kransden]

Sounds like GERD to me. DD had the same symptoms and went on Zantac. I always kept her slightly upright after eating. I would put her in the bassinet with the boppy keeping her head up or in the swing. It was a rough several months but it gets better. Hang in there!

Karin and Katie 10/24/02

[Laru]

Sounds like you're getting plenty of advice on the spitting up. Don't worry about the hiccups, our ped told us they bother the parent worse than the baby. My daughter also did the writhing and back arching - often with the nipple still attached - and crying after coming off. She was also sometimes fussy after eating, and letting her nurse sometimes helped but then we would get a repeat of the above acrobatics. A lactation consultant suggested she wasn't hungry and to let her just suck. I didn't want a pacifier either, and didn't use one for a long time. I prefered to let her suck on my, or hubby's little finger, or even her little fists, all of which worked. Now at 6 mos, she'll take the pacifier but isn't attached to it.

Hope this is helpful.