Newborn BF questions... and tell me it gets better, please!

[quikeye]

Hi all, I've been reading & lightly posting to these forums since I found out I was pregnant, but never thought I would need BF'ing advice (novice, I know!!) But I'd like a little advice, or maybe someone telling me this is normal? :)

DS arrived on Sunday, and I was (still am!) very gung-ho about BF'ing... But I can't seem to find a good rhythm/latch with him, or at least I don't think so. Every time I try to BF according to his cues (and at least every 2 hours), it's been a struggle for him to latch on. He opens his mouth wide, I pull him in, and he holds on for about 2 seconds before opening his mouth again, or pushes me away (literally) with his arms/hands, or shakes his head back & forth away from the breast, (all the time with a heartbreaking cry!) or just generally refuses to latch on. I've tried several positions/holds (cross-cradle & football mainly, since I can actually try and move his head in when he opens up)-- as well as sitting, standing, pillow positions, boppy... Doesn't really seem to matter, since every BF attempt takes at least a good 15 minutes before he will latch on... And now since my milk has come in, he's only feeding for 10-15 minutes on one side before dropping off to sleep and refusing to open his mouth again til the next feed (the 1st 2 days of colostrum, he would feed for 20-30 minutes and more; I know he was getting less then and had to feed for longer, but it seems like such a short time to me!) When he does latch, it's a good one (no nipple pain, areola all the way back...) it's just SUCH a struggle to get him to latch on in the 1st place!

I guess I just want to know if anyone has any advice or positions or something that may enlighten me why DS refuses to latch without a fight... No thrush that I can see, and he does seem to prefer the football hold (when he finally settles enough to try it!)-- so maybe he prefers eating in a semi-sitting position... I wouldn't worry as much except that his ped is a little concerned about getting close to the 10% weightloss and also that he had only had 2 BM's after his 1st nite in the hospital after being born (he's worried about jaundice & bilirubin buildup, though he had a good 3 BM's today that are much less meconium & more poopy, yay!!) :) But though the ped has been really supportive, he has been talking about supplementation-- which is something I REALLY don't want to do right now, being so early in the game (though I was able to pump myself with the PY I bought for returning to work in a few months, so we know it's not a lack of production...) I'd just like to be able to know we're on the right track, and maybe that this is going to be okay (so I can get the formula out of my mind already!)

Well, I know I'm worried just since this is new, and I want so much for it to work (and I don't want to get discouraged), but it's hard thinking I'm doing something wrong... Is it normal for babies to fuss so much at latching on at this age? He took to the breast right away after birth (no medications during labor), but it's just been way uphill from here. I probably will consult with a LC soon, but I just need a little "been there, done that" advice from some moms... :) Thanks in advance all...

Aija & Kai 1/25/04

[COElizabeth]

I'm sorry you're having difficulty! I'd recommend that you see an LC as soon as possible. I don't have any suggestions for latching, but I can tell you that the 10-15 minute feedings are nothing to worry about. After my milk came in, feeding times dropped a lot, too, and we seldom nursed longer than 10 minutes (often only 7 or 8 and later only 3 or 4!). Best wishes!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[Rachels]

Hang in there! This is very normal, and definitely passes. You do not need to supplement, and if you keep being pressured, find a new ped. (We did that. Our first said all the right things initially, but didn't turn out to be knowledgeable or supportive about nursing. My stress level plummeted instantly when we found a ped who was.)

I agree that you need to see an LC. Call today. I'm wondering about two things. One is whether he's having trouble with letdown, either because it's coming too fast or two slowly. Also, try relaxing your grip on his head and neck. Sometimes babies struggle and push back like that when they feel too much pressure.

Here are some resources:

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/basics/index.html
http://www.drjaygordon.com/bf/scales.htm

Also check the bf forums at www.mothering.com/discussions. That's a great resource for bf help and information.


-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[lizajane]

wrote a message then ds turned off my computer....

but the message said:

after 8 or 9 LCs in a few days, one finally told me:
"maybe he isn't hungry yet."

try waiting half and hour, maximum of 3 hours between feedings, and see if he is more interested in latching on and finishing a feeding.

[KGoes]

This all sounds familiar. . . . hang in there - it really does get easier!
Another vote for seeing an LC. There is no substitute for a caring knowledgeable person to help you with this process. You will feel better just knowing that someone cares. Also, if you are anything like I was with a newborn, your thought processes are suffering mightily from sleep deprivation. An LC will tell you things that may sound obvious once you hear them and put them into practice, but there was no way my brain was coming up with them.
Two things that helped me were first, when I was really full, hand expressing a bit so that DD was not being hit with a jet stream; and second, (this was from my LC) pinching my nipple area so what was getting to her mouth was "flattened" - the LC called this a nipple sandwich - and it helped DD get her tongue underneath and latch on better.
Good luck and we are all here for you!!
Kelley
DD born 7/03

[jal]

Don't let the difference in nursing time before and after your milk came in worry you. You have to remember that once your milk comes in, it can be like a fountain compared to before. During those first few days, our son would try to nurse for over an hour at a time (of course he was 10lbs at birth and just wasn't getting enough before the milk came in).

As for the shaking his head back & forth, that sounds alot like the rooting instinct where the reality is that DS is trying to find the nipple.

Hang in there and good luck.

[Jacksonvol]

1. It does get better.
2. Make an appointment with a LC now.
3. Relax, both of you guys are learning how to do this.
4. I would be willing to bet that by 4-5 weeks, you can nurse in your sleep! (literally!)
5. If for some reason, you do have to supplement a few times, it is not the end of the world and you are still an excellent mother.

My DD had a latch problem that sounded similar to what you described. After two LC visits, a miracle product called a Habermann feeder and just a few formula feedings, we are nursing right along at almost 5 months. The only thing I regret is not going to see the LC immediately. (BTW, for some reason my DH was a little resistant to the LC thing at first. I think he also thought it was just supposed to come naturally.)

Good Luck,
Lisa

[calebsmama03]

It will get better as you both get the hand of things! Definitely go see an LC and join a local LLL group. You will have FREE access to a leader who is trained to assist moms (you have access to this whether or not you actually join, by the way) and will be able to connect with other BFing moms, which is invaluable!
http://www.lalecheleague.org/WebUS.html

We too had a problem with DS's initial latch, but we're still going strong at almost 11 mos, didn't try solids till nearly 8 mos and NO formula supplements ever. You can do it! Your body knows how to nourish your baby, just give it some time and get some assistance :)
Lynne
Mommy to Caleb 3/3/03

[jubilee]

Congrats on your baby!! And on your decision to breastfeed! I had many latch on problems and found that a LC was really important. In the meanwhile, check out http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T021000.asp and maybe even http://www.askdrsears.com/html/2/T020100.asp to get some help right now. All the best,

[papal]

Congratulations on your new baby!
I concur with everyone else... get an LC appointment today (and ask her to come over to see you, it is much easier than packing up a baby and going anywhere).
We struggled with bfing in the beginning too..you seem to be doing much better than we did.

-Definitely try making the 'nipple-sandwich', it makes it easier for the baby to latch-on.
-If you think that the milk is coming in too fast (you will know this if you are getting a wild spray and baby seems to be gulping too fast and gagging), then let it spray into a burp cloth/towel and when you get a more steady flow then offer the breast to the baby.
-If you are not already.. get a support pillow. The My Brest Friend Pillow helped me tremendously..i didn't have to worry about holding regular pillows in place..i could concentrate on getting a good latch.
-Go to a breastfeeding support group.. that helped me.. just knowing that other moms are facing the same problems or have overcome them gave me a lot of confidence (or just come here!). -For sore nipples.. if you are facing that problem.. Lanisoh!! Some people say cabbage leaves also but they reduce milk supply so I wouldn't use them unless the LC said it was ok.
-Oh, another thing.. if your shoulders are up in your ears just take a moment to RELAX them... even today i have to remind myself to RELAX sometimes.
-Good posture. Don't hunch over the baby, get good back support...you will avoid the back aches that i suffered for the first couple of months.
- Let someone else do everything else. Your only job, if it is feasible for you, should be feeding the baby and sleeping, eating and showering. Burping, diaper changing, household chores... someone else should do those things..it is easy to forget that our bodies are still recovering from delivering a baby..you need all the rest you can get.
As you can tell.. i am so glad you came here first.. you will get so much support and hopefully avoid some of the mistakes i made.
Both you and the baby are new at this, so have patience.. and take a moment out to enjoy this new experience where your boobies are now babies source of nutrition (this still manages to amaze me!! that WE can supply baby with everything he or she needs for food.. wow!!)

Anyway, this is long but things will get better!! hang in there!