Breast feeding help needed- Long

[joannect]

Hello,

Dh and I were recently blessed with a beautiful baby boy, who is one week old today and was being only BFd. Prior to discharge from the hospital (last Sat.)he was beginning to look jaundiced and we were told to keep an eye out and if it got worse to call the Ped. By monday he was fairly yellow and I called his Ped and brought him in. He was very close to being admitted to the hospital and placed under the phototherapy lights, but the doc said to stop BF for a day or too and give formula only to encourage him to poop out the bilirubin. Two days later and his bilirubin levels are WAY down from where they were but now we're having trouble with BFing (shocking eh?)

He still nurses happily, but seems to have gotten very lazy. He feeds for several minutes (5 if I'm lucky) and then falls asleep and is nearly impossible to wake up. Even if we change his dipe, take off his clothes he'll fall right back to sleep within minutes. 15-30 min later he wakes up and acts hungry- back to breast he goes only to have the same thing happen. He acts insatiable then gets fussy and starts flailing around. I know I have enough milk. I already have almost 40 oz of EBM in the freezer and I can hear him swallowing when he's fed.

I'm going to call a LC today, but does anyone have any tips in the mean time? My mother is of course probably ecstatic because she thinks formula is the way to go (she's making me crazy) DH has been VERY supportive, but I'm starting to get frustrated. My boobs are sore, I'm exhausted, and I feel like a milk cow with a sleepy or unhappy baby attached 24/7.

Thank you for any and all help you can give. :(

Joanne

[COElizabeth]

Joanne,

I'm sorry you're having a rough start! I couldn't tell from your post whether you are still supplementing or not, but if you are, I would recommend you stop. Since you have plenty of milk and your son is latching and swallowing well, I can't think of any reason he needs formula.

James also nursed for very short times and very frequently (yes, sometimes every 20 minutes or so). He could just be nursing often to build up your supply, or his tummy might feel better with smaller amounts more often. If you can just stick with it and let him feed on demand, my guess is that he will gradually start going longer between sessions. One week old is not the time to worry about it - he is still so brand new! If he never nurses more than 5 minutes, that in itself is no cause for worry. Believe me, my sister, whose daughter would nurse for 40 minutes solid, was quite jealous that I could be done in 5 minutes!

As for your mom, just ignore her. She got to feed you, and now you get to feed your baby. Once you get past the sore stage and you and your baby are both comfortable nursing, really, it is by far the easiest way to feed your child, and it's good for both of you. Your mom will have plenty of chances to bond with her grandchild regardless of how you feed your boy, so don't let her make you feel guilty for depriving her of giving that bottle!

Hang in there, and let us know if you have other questions or just need more ears! You can do it, and it sounds like things are going just fine for this stage, really! It does get easier!

Elizabeth, Mom to James, 9-20-02

[s_gosney]

Joanne-
There are many moms here with more experience than me, but I just wanted to give you a little encouragement by sharing my story. My DD nursed great right after delivery, but then due to some breathing issues, she had to be kept in the nursery for 36 hours and wasn't allowed to nurse. After she got out, we just couldn't seem to get it right. It's crazy how awkward you feel at first, but positioning a floppy baby just perfectly on an increasingly sore nipple is hard! Plus, DD had an IV on the side of her head the whole time, so that further complicated things. That's another story though.
Newborns are just really sleepy in general and the jaundice makes it worse, so it is nearly impossible to keep them awake for a full nursing session, at least in my experience.
I'm sure you'll get lots of great practical tips here. The main thing that helped me with positioning was DH's help. Until I got used to BF, I always felt like I was at least one hand short, so he would often help position her head.
Other than that, just know that it really really does get much better. I know that doesn't help too much, but somehow knowing that there was light at the end of the tunnel really helped keep me going. There are tons of moms here who have had rough starts, but are so happy now that they stuck with it (me included).
I'm sorry that your mother isn't more supportive, but you will have tons of support here and since DH is on your side, let him spoil you!
Congrats on the new baby and I hope things get better soon!

[sntm]

jack was a sleepy eater also and it does make it harder. check www.kellymom.com for tips on keeping sleepy babies a little more alert. jack was resistant to a lot of the tips.

calling an LC is an excellent idea. and if you don't feel like you get the right help, call a different one. my 3rd one was an angel and made the difference. go to a La leche league meeting -- lots of women to help you. or call and sometimes they will come to your house to help out.

be really really careful with your latch also. your nipples will be a little sore regardless but if your latch is off, they can get cracked really quickly which makes it very painful.

and ignore your mom! she may be doing it because she fed formula and doesn't see why it isn't fine, or she may just be worried about you (as my mom put it, I'm her baby)

It is completely worth it so keep trying! Check in with us as often as you need!

shannon
not-even-pregnant-yet-overachiever
trying-to-conceive :)
PREGNANT! EDD 6/9/03
mama to Jack 6/6/03

[nitaghei]

Been there!! Hang in there - and do NOT supplement - if you want to continue BF'g. Do NOT give bottles - you'll end up with nipple confusion, and make life that much harder for both of you.

Practical advice:

1)Ignore your mom! BF'g is your choice for your baby. Shut her out - make DH take her calls if she won't respect your choice. Admittedly I know nothing about this, because my mom was the best - and the one who helped us through our BF'g troubles.

2) Get your DH's help to position your DS's head. DH needs to be there - to help keep your sleepy baby awake. Tickle his feet; blow on his head - whatever.

3) Nurse as often as DS demands. It'll be a rough few days - but the long run payoff is SOOOOO worth it.

4) If DS is really sleepy, and having a hard time nursing enough - run to a LC. Use a SNS (supplemental nursing system) to encourage DS to stay on the breast - you can use the EBM. Alternatively, finger-feed or use some other way to get EBM into DS - since you do want to get his bili levels down. Whatever you do, do NOT use a bottle!! It took me over 8 weeks, 4 LCs and ultimately my mother's help to get DS over the nipple confusion - because he got bottles in NICU when they were trying to get him bili levels down (he was up to 26).

Email me at obedcocker @ yahoo.com (remove spaces), and send me your phone number - or I'll email you mine, if you want to talk and get some support. I've been there, and I'll be glad to help you avoid some of the mistakes we made.

Nita (still BF'g)
mom to Neel 01/05/03
dog mom to a cocker and a PWD

[Jacksonvol]

Joanne,

Going to an LC is always a great idea. Even when things are going well, I love it when DD is weighed before and after nursing. It is so cool to know how many ounces she took!

Sounds like things are actually pretty normal for a one-week old. I know that milk cow, endless feeding feeling. It will get better, I promise. Pump when you can to help with the engorged feeling (just a few minutes. I think you can mess up the supply by doing a lot of pumping this early. Also, cold, raw cabbage leaves help.) and use Lansinoh (sp?) cream on the nipples.

Sometimes when DD would fall asleep quickly I would pump her arm up and down or gently blow on her face.

I too fought the formula battle with my mom, until I took her to an LC appointment with me. she also saw the gain after nursing and the fact that the LC was about her age was comforting. The LC also gave her all the facts on the benefits of nursing for mom & child and after that she was gung ho on nursing. (I think she liked the formula idea because she knew how much DD was eating.)

Hang in there, have DH & mom keep your nursing station stocked with plenty of water and finger foods and rest well knowing that in about 5 weeks it will get better.

[papal]

Joanne, congratulations on your brand new baby! I think what you are experiencing is very common, it is very hard to keep baby awake during a feeding the first couple of weeks... no tricks worked on Leela (and 3 months later it is so hard to get her to take a nap!)..including stripping her down to her diaper..using a wet washcloth on her face (the nurse in the hospital did this to my horror and it worked then, i guess we were just too scared to be as rough as the nurse was at home), tickling her feet. But try all the tricks you can.. but if they don't work know that it is quite common! Spend the first month in bed with your baby... nursing nursing nursing... it is tempting to get back to a normal life as soon as possible but resist the urge.. you need to recover and get all the rest you want..and nursing is easier if you are always ready to go and don't have to set up each time!
The thing that helped me a LOT was the My Brest Friend support pillow. I did not have to worry about adjusting pillows (that kept moving and falling) or holding Leela just right...i just had to worry about getting her to latch on correctly. I wish i had seen an LC earlier than i did... and when she comes to see you make sure dh and your mom are there so they hear all the FACTS and so they can support you in bfing.
Hang in there mama! It will get infinitely better in a few weeks!!!
I will be thinking of you.

Rashmi
(mom to Leela, born 10.17.03)

[spu]

Hi Joanne,

Congratulations on your new baby boy! I'm glad you're seeking advice now rather than giving up. It's funny because we're told (and we read!) that breastfeeding is so wonderful and natural (and it truly is!) but there really is a learning curve for mom and baby. Any time you can surround yourself with support will be so helpful (from DH, LCs, La Leche League (LLL) meetings...)

I found that nursing my twins, it took me a good solid 10-12 weeks before I could truly nurse without giving it a second thought. Granted, that may be a along time, but for me, I didn't have immediate family who breastfed, so it was alot of trial and error and meeting with LCs and LLL. I learned alot about the different issues that arise and found that there are many things that come up while breastfeeding.

There are some really great books out there that give straightforward and accurate advice about lactation and how the breasts work and how to provide the proper breastfeeding nutrition for the baby. One of my favorites is The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding. It's not too long, but covers all the different issues that one might face.

In the meantime, here are some links to print out and show your mom - I know what that's like... so make sure to educate your family so they have the right foundation to support you:

http://www.lalecheleague.net/FAQ/advantages.html

http://www.lalecheleague.net/FAQ/enough.html

http://www.lalecheleague.net/bfinfo.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/prepare/index.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/prepare/bf-preparation.html

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/start/prepare/bf-links-goodstart.html

http://www.uuhsc.utah.edu/healthinfo/adult/Pregnant/bfdinghb.htm

http://www.kellymom.com/bf/criticism.html

There's lots more on these sites, but this should give you some good info.

susan

twin girls 7.20.02
charlotte + else

http://sunger2.home.comcast.net/bash/nonflash/year.html

[Jen in Chicago]

#1 throw some cabbage leaves in your bra. That will help with your engorged breasts. When they are wilted, replace them. Only cabbage (not lettuce) works. Magic!

#2 for weeks I was so happy if Jude would nurse 5 minutes. I would stare at the clock and was lucky if he nurse 3 minutes. If you know he is getting milk, you are OK. The LC consultant can confirm this.

We nurse 5.5 months, Jude never nursed more than 20 minutes total (usually only 1 breast.) He is not a big eatter. He is growing as he should, so I should not be concerned I am told.

Right now I am lucky if he drinks 4-5 oz. We went a few weeks where he drank 10 oz a day TOTAL.

[lizajane]

schuyler had the same jaundice situation. he was almost sent back to the hospital. we had to use a bili light at home for almost a week. he slept and slept and slept. (boy, did we miss that when he finally woke up!)

i did not give him any formula for jaundice. i just kept nursing. so i can't give any advice there. but to keep schuyler awake we took off all his clothes. we rubbed his palm to encourage the sucking reflect. we ticked his ears and toes. and finally, i held my cold glass of water to his back, feet or head. sounds mean, i know!

please see an LC. see many if you have to. i talked to at least 6!

for the pain, keep using lanolin. do not wash with soap. go topless! i wore a button down shirt so that i wouldn't be cold and so if i needed to step outside or answer the door, i could just button it up. but i went without a shirt for probably 2 or 3 weeks!!

finally, climb into bed or onto the couch with your water, snacks, book or magazines, remote control, phone and STAY THERE. just put up your feet, let your baby sleep on your chest and nurse whenever he wants to for two days. it should get a lot easier if just a few days. it will still take a while to get rid of the soreness and to get into an easier pattern. but it will happen. at 6 weeks, you will be amazed. everyone says that, but i really was amazed anyway.

:)

go see your LC!! or call la leche!! (the have ph # on their website)

[joannect]

I'd like to thank all of you so much for the great advice, support, and awesome links- great info! I was starting to think maybe I was doing somethin wrong.

I have an appt. with a LC on Monday and DS seems to be doin a little bit better today. His worst time is from 3-8pm and I found an article on Kellymom that said the cluster feeding/fussines during evening hours was fairly normal. I have gone to a couple of LLL meetings before DS was born, but the next meetings in my area are not for another 2 weeks- but I'll definately go then.

I will continue to ignore my mom, but she insists on stopping by daily for several hours on her way home from work (GRRR!). I know she means well, but still... DH has been great trying to run interference, but even he's getting tired of it. Oh, it's not just breast feeding- everything I'm doing is wrong.

DS bili levels peaked at 18, the doc said if they hit 20 he'd need phototherapy, but the next day when it was re-checked it went all the way down to 14 (YAY!)

DS is having easily 6-8 wet dipes a day and although they are small (quarter size) he has 4-6 poops a day. So I think he's getting enough. I'm trying to feed him every 2 hours most of the time and only 2 stretches of 3hrs apart during the night.

So thanks again, your support and info has made me feel more confident and makes me believe that I can do this.

Joanne

[22tango]

You've gotten such GREAT advice here!!! I'll try not to repeat it but only add that I found this website VERY helpful to make sure I had a good latch: http://www.breastfeedingonline.com/31.html

In the beginning using a nursing pillow like My Breast Friend or Boppy can really help with that feeling of not having enough hands!! I also found that using the "clutch" (or "football") position was the easiest for getting the best latch. I always blew on Karenna's forhead or stroked her cheek near her ear to keep her awake and focused.

DRINK WATER!!! LOTS of it!!! (That really deserves repeating!)

If you need even MORE reasons to breastfeed (for your Mom), here's a great list: http://www.promom.org/101/index.html

Good Luck!!! :D