So he wants to "feed" himself...

[McQ]

And I use the word feed only in the loosest of terms. My little boy who used to eat almost anything on a spoon has suddenly decided that he needs to touch his food before it goes into his mouth. And then he likes to smear it on his highchair or himself. And last night, he really wanted to hold the spoon. No interest in guiding it to his mouth, he just clutched it like a staff. He occasionally put it in his mouth (either the rubber or metal end) and if it was the rubber end I was quick to add a little food to it. I ended up having to get a second spoon since the first one was in his vice grip. Once I had the second spoon he didn't need to touch every bite any more but he still played with the first and made quite a mess.

So do I let him experiment and make a total mess? I don't mind letting him experiment but I don't want to turn meal time into play time and then not have an eater if that makes sense.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[bluej]

Wow, I'm so impressed that you were able to make it this long with Declan happily letting you feed him! Ryden also has a need to touch his food. Which pretty much involves him pinching it until it's a mushy mess. If I were to let him feed himself, he wouldn't get any food to his mouth. Believe me, he tries, but it's just mush by the time he's done studying it. So I put a few large pieces of food on his tray (large carrot slices or long green beans) for him to study while I'm feeding him. Yes, he's playing w/ the food, but I think it's in a sense to learn about it..color, shape, texture..so I let him do it. I also put a spoon on his tray as well. Occassionally he tries to scoop up the mush he's made, but he'd never do well enough to actually feed himself. Anyway, he has his food and his spoon to study and I feed him out of a bowl that's in my control. I let him feed himself snacks like cheerios, crackers...less messy food.

I'm sure there's a more 'correct' way to handle this, but this is what works for us.

[Rachels]

I think the huge mess phase is just part of how they learn. I found it helpful to give Abigail her own spoon or a dish of finger foods, and then I could sneak bites into her while she was distracted. But babies tolerate being fed for a pretty short time, and eventuslly you have to let them figure it out. :)

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[caleymama]

I agree ... and for a long time we always used two spoons at mealtime - one for her and one for me. She wouldn't always use hers to feed herself, but it occupied her hands.