how do i choose clothing for discreet public nursing?

[hollyrae]

i am expecting my first baby in 5 weeks and went shopping today for the first time for nursing bras and clothing. i am trying to figure out what i need. eventually, i would like to learn how to nurse in public with the least amount of exposure. can anyone give some tips on clothing for this? i have read that tops that pull up from the bottom are best, but seeing as many bras unhook from the top, i wonder if that is awkward to manage together - or maybe you just have to get the hang of it? i'm just trying to figure out more specifically one does this.

btw - i thought about getting a bra that you can just pull up from the bottom, but i have gone from a 34D to 36DD and likely to go up more when my milk comes in, so i couldn't find one in that style that seemed supportive enough for me. that's why i found myself looking at the more supportive bras that were adjustable & unhooked at the top.

[s7714]

Regardless of the clothing you wear, I think the best thing you can do is practice at home in front of a mirror! That way you can have a general idea of what does or doesn't get exposed. Once you figure out what works best for you and your DC, you'll know what you can get away with in public and feel more confident.

I've always been a fan of wearing normal button up shirts. It's easy to just unbutton the shirt from the bottom and use it as kind of a cover to avoid exposure. I tried a couple of cheapo nursing t-shirts from Motherhood with my first DD and hated them, so I always wore a button up shirt or a short shirt that I could just pull up.

With my second DD I've purchased some more nursing tops, mainly because I've found great resources through this board. I would definitely recommend trying a Glamourmom tank/bra. I love mine and many other moms here seem to love them too.

Jennifer
Mommy to
Annalia 3/03
Sophia 6/05

[netne]

For me the key was a nursing bra that was easy for me to handle. I had a few of the nursing tanks from Target too (same style as glamourmom, not as high quality and less $$$). I really had to practice for while before I was good at discretely nursing in public. Sometimes I would cover up with a blanket while I was getting DS latched on (that's the most awkward part in the beginning). I never used actual nursing tops, just pulled my shirts up enough for nursing. Baby covered up most of my belly and after a while I didn't even care if some of my belly was showing. I tried button downs because my mom swore by that, but I actually found it MORE awkward, unless I was wearing a nursing tank under it (vs. just a nursing bra).

I'm hoping the cutes shawls are still in style this fall/winter, because they would make for good stylish nursing coverups. Even if it's crocheted and you can partially see through it, it's a little more discreet.

Try on a bunch of nursing bras with different style clasps and see which ones are easiest for you to undo one-hand while holding something else in your other arm. You may want to try the cross-over style bras too. Then there's no clasp to deal with. They MIGHT not have enough support either, but worth looking at.

[s7714]

>Try on a bunch of nursing bras with different style clasps and
>see which ones are easiest for you to undo one-hand while
>holding something else in your other arm. You may want to try
>the cross-over style bras too. Then there's no clasp to deal
>with. They MIGHT not have enough support either, but worth
>looking at.

I totally agree. Even trying on different bras with the same style clasps can help, because each brand's clasp may be slightly different. Some are easy to do single handed where as others can be a pain.

ETA: They also have nursing bras with zippers on them which you could try. I haven't tried any of those yet, but most of them seem to upzip from the inner corner to the outercorner (underneath the breast). I found any bras that unhooked from the center to be a major PIA, because I had to dig way down or up to get it undone before moving my shirt. The ones with clasps in the standard strap position were easier, because I could just slip my hand in and unhook it like I was just pulling up my bra strap or something.

Jennifer
Mommy to
Annalia 3/03
Sophia 6/05

[hollyrae]

thanks everyone for the helpful advice. jennifer, you mentioned that the bras that unhook from the strap were easier for you to undo, but did you find them awkward to rehook? i assume you unhook them by reaching into your shirt from the top, but then how do you rehook them - by reaching up from under your shirt or by reaching down from the top? (sorry for my complete ignorance!)

[s7714]

LOL! Didn’t think about discussing the rehooking. After you do it enough times it becomes such a habit you don’t even think about it I guess!

Rehooking kind of depends on the shirt you're wearing. Most of the time I’ll reach in under my shirt but between myself and the baby (the shirt is already lifted up to accommodate the nursing baby) and scoop the bra back up into place before I pull the baby away. Once I've pulled the baby away I can slip my hand back in at the top, grab the top of the bra and rehook it. (Once you get a feel for it, you’ll be able to hook and unhook by sense of touch and you won’t have to actually look into your shirt to do it.)

Reaching down from the top of a shirt to try to pull the bra back up would be possible, but wouldn’t look very, um…ladylike, iykwim? Not to mention people would definitely take a second look at a woman with her arm down the front of her shirt digging around! ;) I’ve always found reaching underneath to be much more inconspicuous. One exception to that would be when wearing a sling. In that case you have to do the adjusting from the top, but because the sling and/or its tail covers you, it won’t be as noticeable. Most people will think you’re just soothing or adjusting the baby.

HTH!
Jennifer
Mommy to
Annalia 3/03
Sophia 6/05

[Rachels]

I agree that the key is really the nursing bra. For me, the crossover ones were far and away the easiest, because you just pull down the cup and don't have to fuss with any straps.

Nursing in public is a learned skill. Practice in front of the mirror, then in places like moms' groups where nobody's going to look at you crosseyed for nursing your baby. Ultimately, though, it's no big deal. You'll find that if your baby is hungry, you'll want to feed him, and who's around won't bother you too much after the first couple of times.

I found, fwiw, that nursing clothes didn't do a thing to make nursing easier or more discreet. I won't buy any this time around. Pulling up your shirt works just fine.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02
New baby coming in October!
(Holy smokes, it's a boy!!!)


"When you know better, you do better."
Maya Angelou
http://www.gynosaur.com/assets/ribbons/ribbon_amethyst_36m.gif
Nursed for three years!

[DebbieJ]

Some people like twinsets--you know a cardigan on top with a shell underneath. That way you can pull up the shell and the cardigan is still helping to cover you.

~ deb
DS born at home 12/03
Breastfed for 20 months and 6 days

http://www.bfar.org/members/fora/style_avatars/Ribbons/18months-bfar.jpg

[nfowife]

In the beginning, I pretty much wore the glamourmom tank bras (the bra style- so much more supportive and worth the $$$) under my shirts so when I lifted up you didn't see much. Honestly, I also nursed in the car a lot and in fitting rooms (I still nurse in fitting rooms when I'm at the mall or Target or wherever, it's just easier). But then you get to the point where you don't worry much and you figure out how to do it (the hooking/unhooking part, etc.) and you just do it because baby's hungry and you do what you gotta do! I also love the Yes! bras and the Anita 5062 are great as well. I sometimes use a baby blanket, but not draped over DD's face so much as wrapped around her to kind of make a little "wall" so you can't see her or my stomach on the side where I've pulled my shirt up. I've found it was more of my problem that I had to get over than other people having a problem with me nursing, KWIM?
Once you master baby latching on, there really isn't much of anything showing because it's so quick and then the baby's head covers it all up.
Best of luck to you!!

p.s. btw, I am also a DD (E) right now, and find the glamourmoms, yes! bras (+ style) and Anitas to be supportive enough.

[Momof3Labs]

That's what I liked. Then if the shell got pulled up a little higher in back, the button down still covered me. You can pair a tank top with a button down chambray shirt, and so on - doesn't have to be a matched twinset.

For the OP, with a DD cup, I can't imagine that you can use a crossover bra and have the support that you need. I was a DD cup while nursing and a crossover didn't cut it, even the Bravado +. I preferred top clasp nursing bras. When DS was done, I would pull the cup over my breast from the bottom of my shirt, and fasten the clasp by going in at the neck of the shirt.

I didn't try any of the nursing tanks 3 years ago but plan to this time around!

[hollyrae]

thanks everyone for the great tips. i'm sure i'll look back at my confusion in 6 months & laugh even more at myself! but for now, with me being completely in the dark - this advice has been really helpful. thanks!

[KW_102701]

I found the layered look to be really useful for disguising the belly and giving me a little coverage from the sides. Plus, I liked that I could wear a fitted top underneath and something a little looser and more forgiving over it - helped me not feel so frumpy, kwim? I wore a lot of tank tops w/hoodies for casual look. I didn't like button downs as much b/c too many buttons to fool with, but other little twin sets or light cardigans worked well.

As for bra hooking/unhooking. I think I remember reaching in from the top to unhook and then re-hooking from the bottom, while baby's head & body were still in my lap to block the view a bit. It takes a while to become graceful and while most of us aim for discretion, I never really cared to totally 'hide' the fact that I was BFing so if people could tell what I was doing, so be it!

[daisymommy]

Any favorite tank tops that are worth mentioning? So many of them out there are suction cupped to your body that I cannot imagine having anough "give" in them for nursing. Did you gals use the ribbed stretchy type like from Old Navy or Gap that are cheap? Or something else?

[netne]

For layering I usually used nursing tanks. I had a couple from Target with DS. I just bought a couple more from motherhood and mimi to add some more colors. Alot of people rave about glamourmom too but I haven't tried those myself yet (a little more $$$ but most say it's worth it).

[SnuggleBuggles]

I preferred a t shirt and a nursing bra that hooked on the top of the strap. I had a few nursing bras that opened in the middle, like with a snap. Well, when I would get full (especially in the beginning) they would sometimes come undone. Just pop right open. The other latches were more sturdy. :) I had good luck with Motherwear bras. Not so much luck with Target ones.

I had one nursing shirt that my very modest (never breastfeeding) mom bought. I hated feeling like the poor baby would suffocate being under my shirt like was the design of my shirt. I didn't want him to get overheated either.

I guess I was never particularily shy about breastfeeding in public. I knew I was discreet. Never bothered with a blanket or anything. Bf'ing in public should be applauded and supported- not a source of stress and worry.

You'll do great! My biggest bfip issue was my over dependence on my Boppy pillow the first few months. That sort of thing just took practice though.

Beth