pacifier help

[holliam]

Okay, I admit it.. I had no plans to use a pacifier with our daughter. However, she is still living with her foster family in Guatemala at the age of 7 months old thanks to a string of unlucky events.

I just learned she uses a pacifier. Clearly I'm not going to try to wean her of it on the way home so I need some advice on what to buy for our trip home, which we hope is SOON. (She is legally ours; we have the adoption decree.. just more paperwork delays.. sooo frustrating!)

I don't know if there any kind that is better/worse than others. I really hope we can wean her from it soon after coming home so any tips there too would be great... *sigh*

Holli

[aim]

This may not be what you want to hear - but I would let her keep the pacifier for as long as she needs it - I would think that moving would be a big enough transition and that something familiar and comforting like sucking on a pacifier would be a good thing. I would bring a variety of brands of pacifiers and a pacifier clip (so that you don't have to crawl around the fllor of the plane). We are currently in the process of weaning DS of his pacifier at 15 mo - it is going pretty well, we are just clipping a bit off the tip once a week until it is gone - it doens't seem to be that big of a deal now,whereas it would bave been rragic (for him) at 7mo.

Amy
DS Bennett 1-14-04

[Karenn]

Holli,
I've followed your story for months and I can't believe you're experiencing more delays! I hope everything speeds up for you!

Is there any way you can find out what kind of pacifier your DD is already using? Maybe by looking at a picture? I've heard that babies can be pretty brand loyal, even at that age! (My mom tells me that I would get so attached to a particular pacifier that it would get old, and she would have to sneak a new one in my mouth while I was sleeping. Otherwise, I'd refuse the new passy!)

In case you can't find out her brand, I'll tell you my favorite. I like Avent. I've given *way* too much thought to pacifiers :) but here are my reasons:

*I like that the avent "frame" is a little smaller and doesn't take up her whole face. It just looks a little nicer to me than say the "mam" pacifiers.

*The nuk/gerber pacifer "frame" turns in just a bit and was leaving big red marks on DD's face.

*The Avent colors are a little more muted and tend to match DD's clothes better than some of the bright/loud colors of other brands. (How's that for a frivolous reason!)

I can't wait to hear the news that your DD is home!

[holliam]

Believe me.. I am very aware of transition issues so I'm not going to just rip it away from her. I'm the most attachment style parent you can be!

However, she hasn't used it that long. We visited her at 3 months and was not using one. So, I'm hoping it's not a critical thing yet...

Holli

[pritchettzoo]

Sounds like there's some good news, so I'm holding my breath for you there!

There are a couple of different styles of pacifiers--the nipples are different shapes and sizes. DD still uses a paci for sleeping (we call her the French baby when she calls for it "Me paci! Me paci!"), but we switched shapes on her to try and discourage it at around a year. No dice. But it made for an interesting nap that day. Anyway, I would get a couple of the different shapes--say Gerber and Mam. Even within those are different nipple types--latex vs. silicone. I wouldn't worry about that necessarily, unless she has a latex allergy. When you get there, check out her paci and make sure it's all one piece. There have been TONS of recalls of cheaper pacifiers here and I have read stuff about them making their way to other countries where the laws are more lax. :(

Good luck with everything. :)

Anna
Mama to Gracie (Sept '03)
and a BOY! (coming July '05)

[laretce6]

We love the Avent pacifiers because they have a "lid" so when you toss it in the diaper bag it doesn't get lint all over it. Of course you have to actually remember to stick the lid back on, but maybe you'll be more conscientous than I :-)
Caroline
Mama to Eleanor Katherine 8.2.04

[brittone2]

No advice Holli, but I wanted to say that I'm crossing my fingers that your DD is home VERY soon...

And then you can move to Hillsborough LOL ;)

BTW, this is OT but I visited the Emerson Waldorf school store briefly (arrived shortly before it closed) but it was lovely :)

[jk3]

We used Avent initially but my DS had a hard time keeping this kind in his mouth so we switched to NUK...and he still uses the pacifier for naps, sleep and stress. I agree that you should bring a few different options.

Congratulations on obtaining the adoption decree. I hope you travel soon!

=)

Jenn
DS 6/03

http://lilypie.com/baby2/030603/2/5/1/-5/.png

[corrie23]

I too am a VERY AP mommy however DD had a strong need for non-nutritive sucking and my boobs sometimes needed to be doing other things, so she too used a pacifier from about 5 weeks until around 22 mos. or so. We used Aventfor no real reason other than I used to pump for when I was at work and I used Avent bottles. I had the foolish notion that the nipples/pacfiers would have the same shape and therefore minimize nipple confusion, but they don't (and she had no problem with nipple confusion).

Anyway, for pacifier weaning we just looked for her level of pacifier need and cut out times we would give her the pacifier when she no longer seemed to need it. Initially she had her pacifier to sleep, in the car, and at times while "lounging". Then she went down to just car and sleep, then just while sleeping, and then not at all. If we cut out a time (e.g. in the car) and she subsequently asked about it, I would just remind her that she no longer needed it at that time and that she now used it just for (whenever). I also would occasionally review for her e.g., "Remember when you were very little and you used to need it (these times) then you only needed it (these times) and now you only need it (these times). One day, you might not need it at al.l" Obviously this logic doesn't work for a 7 mo. old, but for a toddler it seemed to fit.

Best of luck to you on holding her in your arms (paci or no) very soon!

-Corrie

[kijip]

What we have done with Toby is to limit the places that he can have it. First it was only at home or in the car. Then it was only in bed or in the car and now it is only in bed. After consulting his dentist we have decided to go ahead and let him use the bedtime paci till he tosses it away. He knows that he has to leave it in his room when he wakes up and he puts it in a basket and waves goodbye every morning.

If you take the pacifer away before her sucking need is gone, it is possible that she will start sucking her thumb or fist. You will want to decide which you prefer- thumb or paci.

Also see how attached she is too it----if she screams her head off when you try to take it you probably would do well to let her keep it. I would expect even the shortest weaning period to take a couple of months in order to do it gently. I hated pacifers until I met Toby, my pacifer loving son. Now I just figure he won't go to kindergarten with it.

[tigalig]

Holli, both of our children used pacifiers with their foster families (both born in Korea) and NEVER used them at home. I would suggest that you buy some there, if at all possible, for extras, but save your money and literally be "out" when she wears them out, if at all. That might make the transition to no-paci easier, if there is literally none like the one that she is used to. Best wishes!

[ladythepup]

hi, i saw someone suggested bringing a pacifer clip with you. my duaghter has these and always pulls them off. so we found this thing at www.nothrow.com it is for bottles or sippycups but also can be used for pacifers. it is longer than a clip and they cant pull it off. it is great for when htey are in carseat or highchair. We love ours. and congrats on your adoption.


Melanie

[holliam]

You all gave me great ideas. Thank you so much! We did have her switched to Avent bottles so I was thinking that it would be smart to use those pacifiers, but apparently the nipples aren't the same like you mentioned. So, here we go "chupete" shopping!

Holli