19 month old DD STILL won't let us brush her teeth! Any suggestions?

[jerseygirl07067]

DH and I are at our wits end with this. We have tried since february of this year to have her watch us, imitate us, play the "toothbrushing game" (You brush mine, I brush yours, etc), open up and say ahhh, you name it. Nothing works. She just eats the toothpaste or chews on the brush. We have tried an electric toothbrush, but to no avail.

We don't want to make toothbrushing a negative thing for her, but we're not sure how much to force the issue. Luckily she'll drink water right before bed, so hopefully at least that's helping. I will admit that on a few occasions I forced her to have her teeth brushed, she hated it, but at least I got a decent brushing in.

Please tell me what else I can do! Also, how much brushing is really sufficient? Can she just chew on the darn brush to her heart's content?

This drives us crazy every night, to the point where DH and I try to get the other one to do it!! DH will say, "why don't you do it, you're better at it," and then I'll say the same thing back to him. :)

Marcy

[smiliedds]

I don't know if this would help much but I thought I would just write out what we went through.

I started 'rubbing' my DS's teeth since he was 7 month old. Actually, I started at the sight of the first tooth. He hated it. He yelled everytime I 'rubbed' his teeth. We tried to make it a game. Sometimes, I tried to sneak in while my DH is distracting him with a new toy... Other times, well, it didn't matter what we did, he yelled. I tried to make it REALLY fast. OK, this sounds bad but the thought of a cavity is just unbearable. I did this after every single meal (3x a day). And then 3 months later, he suddenly decided that this wasn't so bad after all and started openning his mouth on his own!!! I was so happy!!! He's 14 mo old now and he still opens his mouth without fussing.

I'm not suggesting you to do what I did. I'm merely trying to point out that your DD might just suddenly realize that this is not so bad after all. I know how horrible the yelling can make us feel. (We had the same 'why don't you do it, you're better at it' talk also.) But I do think brushing teeth cannot be avoided. So hang in there!

Rebecca

[neeter]

DS would be the same way - strongly refusing to brush his teeth. We tried everything, alot of the same things you mentioned. The thing that worked for us was putting DS on his changing table, buckling him in, holding onto his arms to restrain them, and we brush while singing the ABC's. At first he refused and clammed up, and then realized there was no where to go, and then he relaxed during the song. We brush for the length of the ABC's. Now he realizes that its inevitable, so pretty much he will open up at the start of the song (if not, we just repeat the song and stop where he started opening his mouth!)

If you try that, let me know how it works! Good luck!!

[JBaxter]

I know this isnt the popular way of doing it but with all 3 of my boys they have gone through periods of not wanted to let me brush their teeth. They would either chew on the brush for a while or refuse completly. If they were in the chewing mode I would just say mommy's turn and finish even with a struggle. If they were refusing I gathered them up and brushed them anyway. Brushing is not an option at our house it is required. I was a hygienist for a 17yrs and saw alot of decay on young children and will do everything I can not to have my kids go through fillings at a young age. Believe me the toothbrush struggle is alot nicer than and injection and fillings. My 2nd was the worst we battled daily for 6 months. He finally came to realize he was going to get his teeth brushed one way or another. A few things you can try are letting your child sit on your lap and brush your teeth while you brush theirs ( the Lets take turns game) Animal sounds while brushing... Mr buzzy bee is going to tickle your teeth. A little song Up like the sun Down like the rain and back and forth like a choo choo train. We had LOTS of different toothbrushes ( including battery powered) and would Pick a brush every day.
This is one of those things where parenting isnt always fun but in the long run even forcing the brushing will be better for you child. It is usually a phase they will go away.


Jeana

[crayonblue]

I agree with Jeana. DD gets her teeth brushed, fighting it or not. I did find that using Toddler toothpaste on a red Clifford toothbrush made her more willing, but I sometimes have to hold her and brush amidst tears.

[jadamom]

Toothbrushing had always been a struggle for me, too. I would sing songs and basically told her that we had to brush her teeth and get in PJs before we could read stories each night. When I finally took her to the dentist at 2 1/2, I realized how cooperative she was with the hygienist, and noticed that the hygienist was constantly giving her positive reinforcement. "Oh how pretty your teeth are! Let's count them! 1...2...3, etc. Oh you're doing such a great job! Thank you!" So afterwards, I told her that the dentist said she needed to brush twice a day and floss each night and I was very complimentary during the whole process. It has helped a lot.

[cilantromapuche]

In our house we held him down and brushed his teeth. We bought everykind of toothbrush out there and none of it appealed. At 20 months he had a revelation and loved to brush his teeth (and the dogs and mine and DH's...) Every once in a while he fights it but like the PP said, it's not optional.

Christine

mama to A (7/03)

[eb1]

No suggestions, just empathy. The only thing that works for me is to let DS watch a video, and even then, he won't always tolerate the brushing. Most of the time I can't get his bottom teeth brushed at all.

And in this household, as for holding him down and forcing it, yeah right! If I could be so lucky. DS blocks the toothbrush with his tongue VERY effectively or sticks his tongue out so I can't reach the bottom teeth, or if I use a finger to pry his mouth, he bites (not maliciously, but he's struggling and crying at this point). The poor kid just doesn't want his mouth "invaded."

Different toothbrushes haven't worked, and washcloths/gauze get the same treatment as described above.

I keep trying my best and being consistent with it, and hoping one day he'll decide it's not so bad.

I wouldn't worry about "traumatizing" your DD. Do whatever you can. I've never met anyone who neglects to brush his/her teeth because of negative experience as toddler. :)

[billysmommy]

Billy always fought us brushing his teeth and then about a month ago I started telling him we were going to "paint his teeth blue" (or whatever the toothpaste is). He opened his mouth and sat there while I brushed his teeth and then asked for the mirror so he could check. Now every night before his book he asks to paint his teeth :)

[lisams]

We were in a similar situation, and tried all of the tricks. Some worked for a few days but she caught on quickly and we were left brainstorming another way to trick her into letting us brush her teeth.

I know this isn't the popular answer, and I am totally a believer in "gentle parenting", but we ended up getting serious because all of the tricks weren't working and after a year of this we were exhausted and dreaded the AM and PM brushing sessions. At about 24 months we told DD that she had to brush her teeth to clean off the "tooth bugs" and that if she didn't she would sit in time out. From that point on we were very clear that there was no bargaining, games, if, ands, or buts about it (ack, I sound like my mother!). If she doesn't open up she goes right to time out. It was hard the first week or so but she finally learned this was one of those things that just had to happen. If she wanted out of time out she had to let us brush. One night she tested us bigtime, and she spent about 20 minutes in time out (us trying every few minutes). She finally caved though.

It was hard for me to come to this decision, but I just reminded myself that it was for her health. We only resorted to this because all of the other tricks didn't work and DD had caught on to us!

Good luck, I totally know how frustrating it is!

[amydiara]

I had the same problem (DS now 18 months). I asked a pediatric dentist I met at the playground and he said to just wipe their teeth with a washcloth. I still wanted him to brush though! (He always let me do it until he turned around 13 months and decided he had his own opinions)

So after trying a LOT of toothbrushes I got one from One Step Ahead where it is like a bite plate and has bristles on 6 sides (3 top, 3 bottom). Jack loved to chew on it, but while chewing, his teeth get scrubbed. Further, he is crazy over the Gerber Apple and Banana toothpaste and although my dentist told me to go to fluride, he demands the apple type and will chew/brush his entire bath. I also do a little scrubbing as if I am playing a game- he loves it. He will occasionally use a regular toothbrush but loses interest quickly.

Good luck!
Amy

[entttc]

We have the blue gerber thing that goes on a finger. DD loves it and asks for it at least once a day, more when she's teething.

[pinkmomagain]

I had a problem with my much older daughter (4-5 yo) and brushing, because we couldn't find a toothpaste she liked (bought like 10 of them). I told the dentist and he said "You can't let the crazies run the asylum." He explained that this is a non-optional thing, and at first it may be forced but the child will get used to it quickly. We struggled but she eventually accepted it. The dentist said he had to do the same thing with his grandson.

Keep plugging away....
Gina