2 kids invited to party = How many gifts?

[bnme]

I know I've seen this topic posted before but I am having no luck searching, so sorry for a repeat question.

I have a 2yo and 3.5yo that were both invited to my neighbors 5th birthday party. Would you bring one gift from both children or 2 gifts? I would probably spend about $15-20 on this child, but should I be increasing it since I have two kiddos going? It is a house party with puppet show, crafts, and lunch.

FWIW, I have close friends that have kids and I always buy one gift and it's from our entire family. I guess I am just wondering because this is more of a kids party, they are invited because we have kids similar in age not becasue they are close friends of me and DH. I am sure I will be facing this issue many times to come and I am wondering what others do in this situation.

TIA!

[neeter]

I have one child, so no direct experience on gift-giving. But in hosting birthday parties, I wouldn't expect more than one gift per family. Even though the kids are friends more than the adults are friends, I think the same expectation would apply. And I think your range of $15-20 from the family is perfect!

[zoestargrove]

I agree with everything PP wrote.

I have 2 boys and they are close in age and they will most likely be invited to alot of the same parties as they grow older, so I'm interested to hear what others think.

Kelly

[Joolsplus2]

Same here, one gift from each family is fine, I think. I feel a bit awkward when people give my kids more than one gift, too...but maybe that's just me (unless it's two super-small gifts or whatever).

:)
Julie CPS Tech and mom to 3 in seats
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[sdbc]

I also agree--one gift. The amount of $ that the hosts spend on the party should have no bearing on the amount you spend on the gift. It's their choice if they want to hire a clown or ponies or whatever.

Sue, mommy to Aurora (Rory) born 5/13/04

[Beth568]

Yep, one gift. When both of my girls are invited to a party, that's the way we do it, and that's what I'd expect from other families, too. If someone brings more than one gift, I feel sort of bad about it.

I'm thinking pretty seriously about making my kids' parties gift-free from here on out. I know people don't really mind bringing gifts, but we have so many toys, and it just feels excessive to me. And I want my girls to focus on having their friends over, not on ripping open presents. They'll get plenty from their grandparents and us, anyway.

I'm taking this thread off in another direction, and I apologize for hijacking, but I'm just wondering how people feel when they get an invitation that says "no gifts, please." Do you feel comfortable showing up emtpy-handed?

[katerinasmom]

I totally understand why you would request no gifts but I would feel uncomfortable showing up empty-handed. Despite your request against gifts, I'd probably bring something anyway - most likely books which IMO you can never have too many of.

As to the original post - one gift per family is all that should be expected whether you have one or ten children attending the party.

[shburks]

Ha ha! As to your "hijacked" question, we have gone to "no gift" parties empty-handed and then felt silly and embarassed because everyone else brings gifts. I think people just cannot show up without a gift--especially to a child's party. You might try something more specific--prefer only art supplies or something! Maybe something that could be used at the party?? I don't know...I just know I probably would not go to another party empty handed.

Susan

[MelissaTC]

I would bring one gift.

[Corie]

This situation happened to us recently. We brought
one gift to the party but I spent a little more on it
than I normally would.

I knew that she would have a goody bag for each of my children.
(which she did!)
And, she took the time to buy my daughter a different party favor
since my daughter is 2 years older than her son.

[bnme]

Thanks for all the replys. I am going to go with just one gift and now feel better that I won't be commiting some huge social no-no.

And on the 'No Gifts' party, I always worry that I will be the only one to show up empty handed. But I would abide by their wishes and give a gift at a different time if it were someone I felt compelled to buy a gift for.

[spunkybaby]

At my DD's birthday party, there were two families with multiple kids. They did give multiple presents, but I think that was more because I am very good friends with both moms. I didn't expect multiple gifts and was actually surprised by the multiple gifts. So I would just bring one gift, but maybe a little nicer gift than if I were bringing just one child? (However, I think $15-$20 is a very nice present already! I tend to spend more like $10-$15, so I might go up to $15-$20, but you're already there! =)

Not-so-new mom to a spunky toddler
March 2004

[BellaGirl]

I agree, I would just bring one gift. But if I normally were to spend $15-20 on the gift, taking two kids I would spend $25-30...just a little bit more.

As for the "no-gifts" parties....I have never seen this work out! People (myself included) always bring something. If anything, perhaps people bring a smaller gift than they normally might (which could backfire, because then you get lots of little trinket type gifts)...but they always bring something!

[CiderLogan]

Re: the "no gifts" issue -- I had been considering lately whether I might like to have a strategy of "no gifts please, but feel free to bring a book to donate to [name of a local charity]." How do you all think people would react to that? I would love to cut down on the excessive gift-giving and take advantage of everyone's generosity for someone else to experience.... but would it work?

Jenny
Mom to Julia, 8/27/03
...and Clara, 5/23/06 - SHE'S HERE!!

[babybear]

For the last two years I have done no gift parties. I really want the bday to be about the day and not the presents. For DS's last bday he received maybe 4 presents out of 20 kids. The thing that was nice is a lot of his friends made a really nice card (I think the parents made them extra special since there are no gifts. Also a lot of the cards would have 4 dollars in them). We still have the cards and it is nice to look back on them. When he was little I put on his invite that he REALLY loved books. Then about 80% of the presents would be books. I did receive a lot of parents asking why I did the no gift thing and they really liked the idea. This year he is having a party at an animal refuge. We are going to ask in lieu of presents to make a donation.

To the question - I would bring one present and I would not up the cost. Things should be about the thought and not the cost IMO.

HTH,

[ajmom]

I agree with everyone else- one gift. My boys are 18 months apart and are invited to the same parties. We always take one gift. My best friend's children are 16 months apart and they bring 1 gift when they come to my children's bday parties. One gift in the $15-20 is perfect.

[HannaAddict]

We have did this for my son's first birthday and it worked great! We did a diaper drive and included a small printed insert with the invite that just said no gifts are necessary but something about "if you'd like to, feel free to bring a pack of diapers for the Family Services baby boutique, etc." The wording was nicer but I don't have it in front of me. I did a one sentence explanation of what the Baby Boutique was, who they served, etc. I found the baby boutique when I was looking for a place to donate things we didn't need, that were outgrown, etc.

We ended up with an entire SUV full of diapers (we had a large 1st b-day party) - some people brought more than one pack and we kicked in a bunch too. When I took them to family services, the volunteers were overwhelmed and almost started crying, making me teary. They are always in dire need of diapers and run out every single month since it is a "new" product that costs money to donate versus older toys, clothes, etc. There was a mom shopping when I came to donate (it is set up like a little store with rounders for clothes, etc. and homeless women, DV victims, etc. can get a referral to "shop" there for what they need) and they were giving her way too small diapers for her toddler since it was all they had. I said I had a ton of sizes to bring in, and was glad that I even the right size for her little one. I only wish I could drop off that many diapers every month!

A book donation is great too, our preschool did that over the holidays. We did diapers since it was something easy that you could buy at even a grocery store, could be cheap for a small package of store brand, and since we knew family services needed them.

Kimberly

[Corie]

Last month, my daughter was invited to a birthday party
where the mom had requested "no gifts but feel free to bring a book
to donate to a children's charity".

Every single child in attendance at the party brought a book
to donate AND a birthday gift for the child. (myself included)

Honestly, I would never go to a child's birthday party
without a gift! I would feel too bad! I just don't think a
2-year-old or 3-year-old or even a 4-year-old understands
why he isn't getting any gifts. Especially after he has been
to many other birthday parties and the birthday child IS receiving birthday gifts!
(just my opinion!)

[spu]

I have twin girls, so I know what it's like to be invited, and also to invite other children to our girls' parties... when we go to someone else's party, we buy a few smaller things and label them from each of the girls. They like to wrap their own gift, make the card, carry it into the party, etc. When people come to our party, we've received both - either 1 big gift (from 1 or 2 siblings) or 2 smaller gifts - 1 for each of the girls. Either way is fine and fun - the kids have a great time no matter what's inside the paper! I always tell the girls who it's from naming the children in the family, and if it's for both of them to share, or if they each have their own. ie: "this if from Nicholas and Emily and it's for both of you to share..."

Honestly, with twins, I've never thought about people bringning 1 or 2 gifts - we're just happy to have friends to celebrate the day.


susan

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