Presents question

[neeter]

Do you give presents to children who aren't having birthday parties? My friend's daughter is about to turn 4, but it turns out that they will be having a small family-only party. I'd still like to give her a gift, in part because we did have a party and she attended...Now that it's her birthday, I'd like to reciprocate with a gift.

So what's your general rule on this? No party, no gift even though they gave your child a gift? Or reciprocate with a gift, whether there is a party or not? I'm leaning towards the latter, but I'm interested in hear your thoughts on this!

Thanks!!

[zoestargrove]

I don't know what the general rule is. I have limited experience, but when we had a small family gathering for my son's first bday...we didn't receive gifts from friends who weren't invited. (and that was fine with me.)

but, as a child myself...birthdays were special and I can remember how amazing I felt when someone who didn't come to my birthday party remembered my birthday with a card or gift.

Kelly

[wendmatt]

I think if it's a good friend a small gift would be nice. But I'm sure it wouldn't be expected so it would be up to you.

[neeter]

Thanks, I appreciate your replies!!

[spunkybaby]

I gave gifts to a couple of close friends whose daughters came to my DD's birthday party and brought presents. One had a family-only party, and one didn't have a party at all. But I just thought it'd be nice to give them gifts (board books and toys). I also gave a token present (one board book) to a boy in our playgroup who had a family-only (plus one close neighbor) party.

So I guess I lean towards your second option--reciprocate with a gift, whether there is a party or not. I guess the one exception would be if there was a party that was *not* family-only, and we didn't get invited. Then honestly I would feel a little miffed and snubbed and wouldn't feel like buying a present!

Not-so-new mom to a spunky toddler
March 2004