Another b-day party gift etiquette question

[lizamann]

We were recently invited to a joint party for 2 unrelated children, one of who I know and the other of whom I've never even heard of. Apparently their pre-school group decided to have double parties to ease the load on everyone's time.

Do I get the mystery child a gift, too? That just seems too weird since I don't know her at all, she certainly doesn't know us, and we're not likely to ever cross paths again. But it seems weird to not get her one. I definitely lean towards getting her nothing.

[Corie]

If it were me, I probably would not buy the mystery kid
a gift. But, that's just me!

Also, can I ask, how was the invitation worded?

My daughter was invited to a joint birthday party one time
and we didn't even know it until we got there.

Her invitation said, "Please come to Bob's birthday party!"

I thought this was very nice since we didn't really know the
other child and then you don't feel guilted into buying the
other child a gift.

[Thatchermom]

We have a joint party this weekend, too. I think we are one of very few families that know both kids, so we are doing two gifts. I would totally expect someone that knows only one child to bring only one gift. They are both turning four, so I doubt they will keep much track of what the other kid is getting and how many. I could see that as a problem with much bigger kids.

In your case, if I brought anything for the mystery child, it would be a very token-level gift, almost like something I'd give as a favor. A cool bottle of bubbles, fun coloring book, something small. But I don't think I'd feel obligated. The kid won't know you to know she didn't get a present from you!

[lizamann]

The invitation just said something like "Johnny is turning 4, and Maggie is turning 5! Join us for their birthday party!" It was definitely an invitation to be used for both kids.

Then there was a separate insert from the parent whom I know that explained who the other kid is that their pre-school class decided to have joint parties.

[hez]

I'd probably resort to a card for the child you don't know.

Friends of ours did this once, and the kids truly didn't care how much loot the other got, or that some folks got one child a gift and not the other.

[crl]

I don't think you have to get the mystery kid a present, but honestly I probably would get her something small. Washable crayons or a Curious George book or a sandpail set from Target, something in the $2 to $5 range.

JMO,

[wendmatt]

If you don't know her I don't think you'd be expected to get her anything.

[Corie]

I still wouldn't feel obligated to buy a gift for a child you don't
know.

Honestly, and this is just my opinion, I think these invitations
should have been worded differently for those of you who did not
know the other child.

Don't feel like you have to buy a gift! And, I'm sure they
aren't expecting one from your child.

[Raidra]

I'd either get her something very small, or nothing at all. We did a joint party for Colwyn's 2nd birthday with a friend of ours, whose daughter was turning 2 the same month. We're in the same playgroup, and everyone invited knew both kids. However, we felt bad about people having to buy two gifts at the same time, especially when our kids both have way too many toys to begin with. So we did a book swap.. we asked everyone to bring one new book instead of a gift, and then we all swapped books. So everyone went home with a new book, in addition to the regular goodie bag stuff.