Christmas gifts and in-laws/extended family - to limit or not?

[csa12]

With the holidays coming up, I am wondering if other people have a certain policy about the number of gifts in-laws/extended family members can get their kids. Last year it was a bit crazy with MIL thinking that DS NEEDED practically every toy in the Toys r Us wish book. Not to sound ungrateful, but Dh and I usually get our kids 2-3 presents each with one being a membership to a kid's museum or something like that. I also ask because MIL/SIL/my Mom and other family members will actually ask what our kids want.

I was thinking of telling people a few toy themes DS and DD express interest in and then telling people that 1-2 things wold suffice, but am I fighting a losing battle or sounding like a scrooge?

TIA!
Cheryl

[kijip]

Fighting a losing battle IME. My one kid gets an entire toy store worth of stuff above and beyond what we get for him.

Just consider it an opportunity to teach your children about charity. In January or so, my son picks what to give up to donate to the family charity that I run (before I worked there it was either listed in CL for free or Freecycle or donated elsewhere). Once the gift is given, you can do whatever you want with it.

They one thing that has helped is that when people ask what he wants I tell them specific items that he either really wants, art stuff or book stuff or similar. I can only do that with the people that ask though, so I keep mum when they don't ask in advance.

****Rocking out while parenting my smart little 4 year old munchkin Toby.
The butter melts out of habit, you know the toast isn't even warm. -Ani DiFranco

[Happy 2B mommy]

We are in the same situation. DH and I are going to make a wish list at amazon with some easily affordable toys/books and 1 'big-ticket' gift. We plan to let MIL know that we would be very, very grateful if all the in-laws would chip in for the one big gift for DD. We are hoping that everyone goes in on the big gift, but for those who don't, there are some options.

[csa12]

I love love love this idea. That is a wonderful way to teach charity.
Thanks!

[kijip]

>I love love love this idea. That is a wonderful way to teach
>charity.
>Thanks!

We have found that it works really well. In the last 18 months or so he has really gotten into it and will ask when we are going to take his stuff to people that need it more than him. At least 1/3+ of what he gets is donated either unused or in excellent condition. We also clean out before the holidays and the birthday to make room.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Usually it is my ILs who buy *us* the memberships to places like children's museums. :) I love that gift!

I will not put limits on how much other people can buy for ds, even though my mom can go overboard. I do make it clear what kind of toys (or things) he would really like via mailing out gift ideas for him (totally an acceptable thing in our families). I figure that dh and I do our part by limiting things. Some people just really like shopping for ds. :) I wouldn't say that anyone goes majorly crazy in the family with gift buying so maybe I am not quite able to see a problem.

Last year my mom really got the hint and did something really neat...she took ds to a hotel for a night. They had room service, played in the pool and just really had fun. She bought him a handful of things that he could open but she really kept it under control! I love events as opposed to material stuff. Anyway you could pass on hints like that? Tickets to a sporting event or something else they could do with dcs? Some other sort of special outing?

Beth

[kitmama]

I have been strongly encouraging family to donate money, even a very small amount, for the boys' savings accounts in lieu of gifts. It cetainly hasn't eliminated all the extra gifts, but some family members have cooperated. I remind them that there is time for the money to grow, and that it will end up being more valuable to the boys than any toy they could recieve now. When this works, it works really well- even if they still buy a gift or two, it certainly cuts down on volume- plus the boys get a little cash for the future!

Also, some of my relatives do ask for gift suggestions, which is nice. I can point them in the direction of things the boys would really enjoy, yet won't annoy me. Or, I can recommend art supplies or books (always).

I have tried to recommend family memberships, classes or kid magazine subcriptions rather than gifts but for some reason nobody in my family seems interested. Oh well!

[KBecks]

I don't direct other people what to do for gifts unless they ask. However you can drop a cheerful hint that your son got so many toys last year, or that his room is overflowing with toys and you need to donate some or something like that. If someone ask then yes, tell them that even though it's so fun to shop for kids, you hope that your son will not be overwhelmed with the number of toys he gets.

That said, if you get 65 presents, then grin and bear it, and weed through your things at home and donate what you don't want or need.