I can't go anywhere with my screaming baby!

[sparkeze]

DS has never loved riding in the car but lately it's gotten REALLY bad. He starts his alarm screaming as soon as I get him buckled up and it doesn't stop until I'm holding him again. I've tried singing, talking, giving him toys to play with, pacifiers, and I'm out of ideas! It's gotten really difficult to go anywhere, much less out of town, and we're about to cancel all our holiday plans because DS will cry the entire way. It's really been hard to get out and it's really starting to wear on me. Right now I only take him out if it's absolutely a neccessity, and if I have errands to run I wait until DH gets home and either he runs them or I do so DS can stay home. He does this even when I'm sitting in the backseat with him, although not quite as bad. I think one of the reasons it's gotten so bad lately is because he's going through separation anxiety and since he's rearfacing he can't see me. However, even if I'm next to him he cries! I don't think it's the car seat because we've had it for a few months and he used to be much better. And DS is only 8 mo so I can't front face him in the near future. I'm desperate for some suggestions! We've actually considered buying a portable TV/DVD to use in the car (when I'm in the back with him) because he loves watching Elmo's World and I think that would keep him occupied, but is it safe to use in the car? Since it's kind of an expensive purchase for this purpose I would love any other suggestions! TIA!

Mommy to Matthew 4/5/2002

[Karenn]

Hi,
Colin started screaming in his carseat when he was 2.5 months old. The only thing that worked for him was playing lullabies, turned up really loud. He also kinda liked a CD of the ocean, but the lullabies were what did it. He was obviously much younger than Matthew, so it might not work for you, but I thought I'd throw it out there. I remember how awful the screaming was! Hope it gets better soon!

Karen

[egoldber]

Seriously consider the portable DVD player. We frequently take long cross country car trips. Sarah is pretty good in the carseat for about 2-3 hours and then she gets really restless. When we bought our new minivan we had a DVD player installed. That thing is MAGIC. She happily watches Baby Einstein videos and kid movies from DC to Cincinnati (9 hours). Of course that means we have to listen to them for 9 hours, but it's better than a screaming baby.

HTH,

[naynaysmom]

My older son did the same exact thing...our problem was the infant car seat he was in just became too darn uncomfortable for him. The minute I put him in his new Britax RA car seat (in the rear facing position) he was happy as a clam!!! Needless to say, I threw the infant seat out and bought a different one when my second baby came along. As the babies get bigger and heavier, the padding on some of the infant seats just doesn't cut it. If I were you, facing a long road trip with baby, I would run to BRU and test out a few different car seats. It would be well worth the investment if baby is happy! I swear by the Britax RA...it is really cushy and was well worth the money since it lasted until he was big enough for his booster seat.
I would be wary of the portable DVD player idea unless it is professionally installed in your car. In the case of an accident, it could become a "projectile" and injure passengers in your car.
Good luck!!!

Kelly

[egoldber]

Well, we have a Britax RA. :-) I think some babies just get more restless in the carseat than others. You do, of course, need to make sure that any portable device in your car is secured. The same is true for your diaper bag, strollers, toys, portable feeding seats, etc. All can become projectiles in an accident. I know I am not always very good about being careful with this myself.

[Rachels]

Just wanted to offer sympathy-- Abigail screamed in the car every single time we went anywhere for about 14 weeks. It was hell. I was in tears half the time, too. Getting a new seat made an enormous difference. Other things that helped were the Fisher Price dashboard toy, music, etc. I would get the DVD player in a minute if there was a way to install it properly.

We also took practice trips for a while. I would put her in the carseat and just drive around the block, then around two blocks, then around the neighborhood...Now she does pretty well most of the time, and if she gets bored, she just goes to sleep. I never would have believed such a miracle was possible. Hang in there, mama!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[joodyjr]

Man oh man.. am I glad someone posted this. I'm having the same thing w/DD (9weeks). I am almost sure it's her carseat. But that really kills me. It's the fisher price Stay in View with the super duper soft strap. But, at this point, I'll try just about anything short of buying a new car. Ok.. I'd do that too, but DH says NO Way!

I can't even go visit my parents as they live 1 1/2 hours away. I'm going to try the Roundabout and hopefully that'll work. That was the plan anyway, just not so soon.

Yippee.. now I get to buy a new seat for DS who loves his Roundabout!!!!

[sparkeze]

Right now DS is in an Evenflo Triumph, which seemed fine for the first 2 months we were using it. We have started to consider buying a RA but would it make much of a difference?

[Rachels]

The RA has made such a difference for Abigail that I don't miss my SIV at all.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[joodyjr]

Well, we just took our first trip in the Roundabout! WOO HOO.. Gray skys are gonna clear up...la la lallaa llla (don't remember the rest)..

1/2 hour one way. Started out rocky, I got panicky, but by the time we were at the end of our road, she was enjoying her new better view. She was asleep in no time.

She got to try out her new stroller for the mall and was quite pleased. Then it was back in the car seat for the 1/2 hour trek home.

She was hungry, cold, and tired, and it was the end of the day which is typically a "don't bug me" time of day. She cried for about 3 minutes. Then she fell asleep again. And slept all the way home and stayed asleep until I opened the door and the cold air hit her.

Let me just interject here: she has napped a total of 3 times in the FP Stay in View infant seat. Yes, in her 9 1/2 weeks, she's slept in that seat a whopping 3 times, the rest of the time was spent screaming.

I am praying to the Britax Gods right now! I also received the Britax Marathon (for DS) today too.!! It is a good day!!!

I'll never buy a different brand of car seat no matter how destitute we become! LOL

[naynaysmom]

Yay!!!!!
Like I said, this is the same experience I had 3 years ago when my oldest son was 6 months old. I swear by the Britax Roundabout, and would probably pay twice the already expensive cost to buy one if I needed to since my first son (and now his baby brother) love it so much. (I can hear my hubby grumbling from the next room!) :-)
I think it is much more than coincidence that so many babies love the Britax car seat....the Roundabout in my opinion is a simply FABULOUS product!
- Kelly

[joodyjr]

I just installed the Marathon.. oooohhh la laaaa... I wish I could sit in that thing. It's so plush, soft and cozy! I'm very jealous of my children. LOL And of course it installed like a dream.

[sparkeze]

Well, I just purchased the RA this morning on the Right Start website. They have it for $139.99 without LATCH! The Advantage without LATCH was on sale too...175 I think? So I'm hoping that there will be a miracle and DS will not scream in that carseat.

BTW, my mom said she was talking to someone about my DS and his hate for his carseat and that person suggested that maybe DS gets carsick? Is that possible? I thought I remembered reading that babies don't get motion sickness...

[Tondi G]

They say they don't but I sware DS did..... he hated his car seat till the day we turned him front facing.... I would have liked to keep him rear facing longer but felt he was better off with me being able to drive watching the road FFing then being RFing and me constantly turning around trying to make him happy..... but we did wait till he was over a year and well over 20 lbs!!!!

I hope the RA works for you.... it is a nightmare when all they do is scream and cry in the car.... tough on mommy and baby! Here are some HUGS and keeping our fingers crossed that a comfy seat does the trick for you!

~Tondi and Mason (7/8/01)... still the occasional screamer in the car!

[Rachels]

I think it's totally reasonable to assume that some babies get carsick. Saying they don't is like saying that they don't really feel pain or sadness or any of the other unpleasant things that adults feel. I, for one, can't ride backward for more than five seconds without getting truly epic nausea. Why would a baby be any different?

Actually, I do wonder if this is part of why the RA helped my daughter. In addition to clearly being more padded and more comfortable, she's up a lot higher and can see out. It certainly helps her with boredom, but I think it also helps her keep her equilibrium.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[danak2002]

my son started screamimg as well. the one thing that calmed him down was when i sang to him. he loved wheels on the bus and the sound of my vioce tended to sooth him and comfort him. also sometimes its in the timing. although i know this is not always possiable to do. see if you can wait. by that i mean is he tired? maybe you can put him down for a short nap before you go out. is he hungry? maybe you can give him a quick bottle before you go out. again, i know that is not always possiable.

[NinaBeena]

Why are you considering changing from the Triumph to a RA after only 2 months?

[sparkeze]

Update:

So we got the RA and the first couple trips were not promising. DS still cried from the moment I opened the car door to put him into the car seat until I took him out again. HOWEVER, when I was sitting in the back with him, he was actually happy! This didn't happen in our other car seat, even when I sat next to him he cried. We haven't gone for any long car rides yet, but I'm hoping that as long as I'm next to him he'll be okay.

So this is definitely an improvement! But it has also got me thinking...what exactly is bad about having a baby rearfacing in the front seat provided the airbag is turned off? If DS will be okay if he can see me, I'm thinking my driving would be much better if he wasn't screaming in the back. He'll be a year old in about 2 months, and is a few ounces away from being 20 lbs right now so I could forward face him then if it's still really bad, but wouldn't it be nice if I could have him in the front until then? TIA!

[Momof3Labs]

The reason to keep him in the back seat is that it is MUCH safer in a crash - front seat passengers tend to get injured much more severely in a crash than back seat passengers.

The risk of the front seat goes far beyond the air bag.

Lori & Colin 9/28/02