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mamalolita
05-01-2003, 03:11 PM
I am not much of a whiner, but it just so happens that my first posting is in the bitching forum! I just got off the phone with my husbands friend who calls all the time. My husband works long hours and the time we get to spend with him is limited. This friend of his is always (at least 3 times a week) calling for the dumbest things, and he's constantly inviting my husband to go do things. I don't think he has many other friends and my husband feels bad for him. The friend annoys me to no end when he's around. He's married with a family, too, so I wish he'd focus on his own life and leave us alone. I get defensive on the phone when this guy calls. I always want to know why he's calling and what he wants. I am kind of short with him, so you'd think he'd get the picture. I am really a nice, kind-hearted person otherwise (I promise!!!). It's just this one guy who drives me up the wall. Anyone out there had a similar experience? How have you handled it? I wish it didn't bother me so much.

Okay, I'm off to conquer the rest of the boards...especially the cloth diaper section!

Mamalolita

mamahill
05-01-2003, 07:22 PM
OH MY GOSH - I could have posted this same thing! DH's friend always calls at 5:30 or 6 pm asking if he is home. I've taken to responding (in my condescending voice), "Silly (name), Joel NEVER gets home before 7pm. He's been working a lot of OT, so if he has time, he'll give you a call." Joel doesn't like it when I say, "Your girlfriend called," when he gets home. Hee hee. I don't know how to handle it, other than just dropping HUGE hints, and occasionally just flat-out SAYING, that Joel needs to spend time with his family at the moment.

Wishing you luck, and commiserating with you!

mamalolita
05-01-2003, 10:16 PM
I am laughing right now, because I did not think anyone would reply (mainly because I thought I was alone in this, but also because my first posting on these boards was so random)! I am glad that someone out there is having the same experience as me. DH encourages me to have an open mind and to get to know his wife so our families can do things together. No thanks. I get enough of this guy on the phone as it is! The irony is that my husband doesn't especially like the guy either. He's kind of the bleeding heart type.

How does your husband handle it? How do you handle it? Not to be competative but your husband's friend can't be half as bad as mine :) LOL. Wishing you luck, too!

PS Your baby is gorgeous! How old is she?

brubeck
05-02-2003, 09:52 AM
My husband has a friend (but quite so needy) who is VERY annoying. He's the kind of person who must insult and demean everything he doesn't like, and he never stops to think about how it hurts people when he says nasty things. I've learned to deal with it (training for bouts with the MIL who is more subtle) but I don't really enjoy his company.

DH has been great. He knows I don't like this guy too much so he doesn't go out with him that often, and will only do it if it's something he REALLY wants to do. For example, they both played hooky from work one day in April and went to Tahoe to go skiing. But when this guy calls about his weekly poker games my husband usually says no.

For my part I try to be gracious and deal with this guy's company once in awhile. I actually invited him and his wife and 2 kids over for Amy's second birthday party last November. It worked out well because the guys got to chat and I was too busy running the party and watching toddlers to do more than say a quick hello.

There is one good thing: when DH sees this guy he gets all the dirt on his dysfunctional family. I especially like all the dirt about how they have troubles raising their 2 boys (ages 3 and 1). It makes me feel like I'm managing my own life better. Okay, I know it's petty, but if I have to give up hubby's time for this guy then I'm going to get some enjoyment out of it too! :-)

mamahill
05-02-2003, 01:04 PM
Thanks! She is 13 months. And you're right, I don't think my DH's friend is as bad as yours. Luckily, once his wife had their baby, he has toned it down a bit. He also has a bit of ADD, but I think the sleep deprivation is beginning to have an effect (secretly happy!). Joel will talk to him, but then sometimes just cuts him off, saying, "Now isn't really a good time. I've got to go." Of course the guy keeps talking, but Joel is able to get off the phone pretty quickly. But Joel isn't also a bleeding heart type. Some people just don't get it, and you HAVE to be rude. Even then, they probably don't think it's rude, per se. Over time, maybe he'll get the hint. And, were you to offend him, perhaps he wouldn't call so much... }> LOL

mamalolita
05-02-2003, 02:17 PM
Do you like his wife? Maybe if I was friends with my DH's friends wife, it wouldn't be so hard for me to handle him. She seems nice enough, but I don't want to get sucked in. I have two kids that keep me busy, so I barely have time to see the friends I have now.

mamalolita
05-02-2003, 02:21 PM
Have you ever thought of saying something to his wife? I have told my husband that one day I'll get so fed up that I will call his wife and ask her to control her little boy (I really mean it, too...not just an empty threat)!

My husbands friends get mad at my DH for occasionally bringing this annoying pal along on their guy's nights out. Does your husband even like this guy? Mine doesn't genuinely like him, so I wish he'd just get on with it already.

I guess the root of why he bothers me so much is that he KNOWS how little time me and my two kids get to spend with DH. My theory is that he must have a pitiful home life to want to escape it so often.

brubeck
05-02-2003, 04:48 PM
The wife is okay, but she's kind of a princess if you know what I mean. Her family was from South Africa where they lived like royalty and she's never really made the adjustment to a middle class life here. Her kids have the most expensive everything (because $$$$ = best in her mind) and she has a maid and a nanny coming in even though she's not working. I can deal with talking to her, but not for too long.

When she was at my place for the party I pulled out my Chicco Mamma for her son and the look on her face was priceless. "You mean you don't have a Peg Perego?" she asked, like I had instead picked up some rickety old thing at the Goodwill for $5.

The older boy is 3 and he is quite spoiled. He's on his way to becoming a real terror if she's not careful. The 1 year old I can't tell yet but so far he's just cute. :-)

mamalolita
05-04-2003, 01:34 PM
I think my problem is close to being solved! DH's friend is moving out of state back to his wife's hometown. I am so excited! Time to reclaim my sanity...and my husband.

momathome
05-04-2003, 07:46 PM
WOW!!! Now there is a quick, easy solution! Do you think my MIL can move with him??? LOL!!!
-Lauren