Can you believe this neighbor?!! [Archive] - Baby Bargains & Baby 411 Community

cuca_

05-14-2003, 07:56 AM

Last night I woke up at 2:00 am to get a glass of water and found a note that had been slipped under my apartment's front door. It reads as follows:

Dear Neighbor

Please don't leave large boxes in the garbage room. Take them down to the basement. Try to be a little considerate of the rest of us on the floor. I guess we'll have to listen to a screaming baby soon! Some of us will be complaining.

Can you believe this!! We have been renting an apartment in this building since november. There is a garbage room on each floor, and ours has a sheet that states that you should flatten boxes when leaving them on the trash. Nowhere does it require that I take them down to the basement. I wouldn't even know where in the basement to take them!

Anyhow, I left the infant seat box in the garbage room yesterday afternoon, flattened as required by the instructions posted. Obviously, that box is what prompted this neighbor (who did not even have the guts to sign the note) to write this nasty thing.

Obviously I was most upset about the baby part. How dare they! I was ready to write a nasty response and post it on the garbage room door, but DH convinced me not to. He thinks this is the act of a bitter and unhappy person and my reacting to it I would give him/her a lot of satisfaction.

After some sleep I agreed not to write anything back. However, I still have a couple of baby gear boxes in my apartment (the swing, excersaucer, baby bathtub, etc...). I plan to put a box every other day in the garbage room (flattened, of course). Hopefully that will make my nasty neighbor as miserable as he made me by complaining about my baby before s/he is even born. By the way, as DH pointed out, it is a little humorous that this neighbor plans to complain when our baby screams. Who is s/he going to complain to? Us? I guess that in a couple of weeks this neighbor will be very busy writing notes to complain about the baby crying. In a way now I hope we have a screamer.

Just wanted to vent. Sorry about the length! Any suggestions on how to deal with this will be welcome.

nigele

05-14-2003, 09:11 AM

Carmen,

What a mean thing for someone to do! I am sorry you have such a cruel neighbor. My SIL lives in a townhouse and whenever her baby cries, her neighbor bangs on the wall REALLY loudly. What is that supposed to do - calm the baby?!

I sort of hope you have a screamer, too, just to get back at this person. ;-) Please don't get stressed out about your baby crying if the neighbors complain. I have a feeling this person is a grumpy old woman. If she is unhappy listening to a crying baby, she can move on out to the retirement home where there is plenty of peace and quiet!

Good luck!

Rachels

05-14-2003, 09:25 AM

That's awful! Shame on that person. I always wonder how adults who are intolerant of babies think they started out. Did they just spring forth fully upright and with good table manners? If your little one cries, the last thing you need to worry about is whether it bothers the insensitive clod living nearby. Let him move if it's that big a problem. Sheesh.

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

redhairedgirl

05-14-2003, 11:14 AM

I can't believe someone did this.... and to not even have the gall to sign it! Nasty people! My DH would probably have to tie me to a chair to keep me from banging on everyone's door to find out who did it.

You can always do what my Dad did..... we went on a cross country flight when I was 6 months old. Dad said that I cried majority of the 6 hour flight, and that these two girls behind him just kept making nasty comments. So, he finally looked at them and said, "If you think you can stop her crying, GO AHEAD! I've done everything that I can!" They shut up after that. }>

I'd like to see who they are going to complain to.... it just doesn't make any sense to me.

mharling

05-14-2003, 12:13 PM

Dh would have had to restrain me too!!! My response would have been, 'I guess we have to listen to a rude neighbor now. I am already complaining.'

I like Rachel's response too; does your neighbor think s/he never cried???

Like your dh said, I think the best way to deal with it right now is to not give him/her any satisfaction that it bothers you. I would be certain that s/he is eagerly awaiting a response.

Mary
Mommy to Lane Michael 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b33928e40550

cuca_

05-14-2003, 01:26 PM

Thank you all for your sympathy. I still can't believe that such bitter and mean people exist. As Lisa said, it is probably some bitter old woman. Rachel, I like your comment, I guess this person believes s/he was born an adult. Well, whoever it is I guess s/he will be reading the classifieds in a few weeks!

I had to laugh at Redhairedgirl's and Mary's comment about needing to be restrained by their DH. Believe me I was fuming when I read the letter, but for some reason (probably hormones) I just burst into tears. I did draft a couple of nasty responses in my head, but I am sure that DH is right in that not responding is probably the best reaction. I'm sure my stupid neighbor is only looking to create a big controversy, and I am not giving him or her the satisfaction.

mamahill

05-14-2003, 02:24 PM

OMG - you are a better woman than I, Carmen. A note on your garbage room would have been there faster than DH could have gotten out of bed! That is absolutely ridiculous.

If I were you, after the baby comes, I'd post a small note on our door saying, "We apologize for any crying that may disturb you. Please know we are NOT enjoying it, or sleeping through it, or trying to provoke it. Should you feel the need to complain, please make all correspondence addressed to the baby, and s/he will review it as soon as s/he can read. Perhaps then s/he can be reasoned with. In the meantime, would you like to take our boxes down to the basement for us?"

Grrr. I'm fuming on your behalf...

cuca_

05-14-2003, 03:03 PM

Sarah, you are so funny. I love the note suggestion!

etwahl

05-14-2003, 04:05 PM

I love Sarah's note. Carmen, you should post it. I WOULD. I'm like Sarah, that note would be up there faster than DH could blink at eye at, though he'd probably be the one posting it up there. The nerve!!!! unbelievable.

Btw, how the heck did that neighbor know it was YOU that put the box there? And I wouldn't do one box a day - I'd put them all in there at once. There are no rules against it, so what the heck is their problem? I'm FURIOUS just reading this.

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003

mama2be

05-14-2003, 05:06 PM

Carmen,

I am so proud of you for not taking that crap!!!
WAy to go...I would actually go find boxes just to bring up to the laundry room...I owuld flatten them of course...but I think I would search high and low for some to put in there...sounds like the person needs to be medicated!!!!

I think I'd hang the note up on the door and let your neighbors see how ugly this person is, if they hear it from you first they will side with you that is for sure!!!

ddmarsh

05-14-2003, 05:25 PM

I'm with Neve - I was going to suggest you head to the nearest BRU and ask for any and every baby gear box they have available and keep placing one in the garbage room on a regular basis. Can you imagine the look on that grump's face when they get the idea that you are in fact setting out to torment them :). As a matter of fact I can load up my van with some from my own BRU and head out your way!

I love Sarah's note and I highly suggest you post it as well!

This reminds of the time we were at church and our boys were being kid-like during mass and this older couple in front of us kept saying things to one another about it coupled with her glancing back at us about every 5 seconds to sigh, etc. At some point I said loudly enough for her to hear "I suppose their children never made noise in church." It was pricesless - she nudged her husband so hard I could see it and she did not turn around again. Some people just need a more direct response I think.

Please let us know what happens, I'll personally be dying to hear the outcome.

Debbie

cuca_

05-14-2003, 07:47 PM

I love all of your ideas for notes and additional boxes. Tammy, I'm pretty sure that I am the only pregnant woman in the building, and our apartment is right accross from the elevators, so either they have seen me or they simply asked the doorman where the pregnant lady lives. I also like Neve's and Debbie's suggestion to do the box thing daily, I might just have to drive to BRU to get a good supply.

It is really obvious that this person has a problem with the fact that we are having a baby. I have left other boxes that have our names and address in the garbage room and never had a complaint. Plus, everyone as far as I can see leaves their empty boxes there.

I can't believe there is such a grinch out there! Hearing other similar stories makes me wonder what's the matter with all these obviously bitter people. Babies usually make me smile no matter how noisy they are.

Thanks for your support!

KathyO

05-14-2003, 09:51 PM

I love Sarah's suggestion of a note for the door...

Pity the person, whoever they are. Someone who is that intolerant of babies and children is going to have a lonely and boring old age (if they aren't having one already...)

Whenever I hear some snarky childless person complaining about having to pay education taxes or whatever like that, I think, "But when you get old, the people who are going to run the economy and grow your food and doctor your illnesses are the children of today! Who do you THINK is going to be taking care of you???"

Let'em complain. You're a hero for undertaking the incredibly hard job of raising one of the compassionate, competent human beings this grouch is going to be relying on one day. If you really want to feel better, get a copy of Barbara Kingsolver's High Tide in Tucson, where she has, among others, a great essay on the way children are prized in some cultures, as they should be but aren't always over here.

Cheers,

KathyO

mama2be

05-14-2003, 11:22 PM

A condo...a doorman...a trash room...I suspect you pay hefty fees for all of that...Girlfriend you run to the nearest BRU and go get yourself some boxes!!!!!...maybe even the liquor store give the grump something else to stew over...

How about a Costco or Sams...Boxes out the ying yang at those places!!! I would also help you if I lived near you!!!

Rachels

05-15-2003, 06:36 AM

LOVE that essay! It's one of my favorites, Kate!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

jojo2324

05-15-2003, 08:59 AM

Wow, what nerve!! I am so proud of you for keeping your cool, because I know that if I got a note like that when I was days away from popping I would have, first of all, burst into tears and wondered why this person didn't like me, then I would have gone rampaging through the building, knocking on everyone's door trying to find the culprit.

I can just hear the music that would follow my pregnant waddle around.

You only did what you've been told is acceptable, and since you've seen other flattened boxes in the garbage room, I am guessing this person just has a gripe about the baby on the way. And how on earth is s/he going to complain about the baby? Is s/he going to band together a group of tenants and demand that you be removed from the building? Perhaps they'll be kind enough to take all of the flattened boxes and construct a house for you and your newborn. I can't believe people sometimes!

This has really gotten my goat. Let us know of any developments, and can't wait to hear about your baby's arrival, screamer or not! :D

vluckey

05-15-2003, 10:50 AM

I also love Neve's and Sarah's note ideas. I agree that any reasonable neighbor would be on your side and the person who wrote it would (or should)be embarrassed.

One thing I would NOT do is change anything about how I would handle those boxes. If you prefer to put one in a day, fine. If you prefer to put 10 in at once and go to BRU for a fresh new supply every other day, even better. I, for one, refuse to change my actions because people are psycho.

If this idiot would have written a reasonable note asking you to do this as a favor, I am sure you would have been accomodating. I would have to say that whoever it is is probably near you otherwise they wouldn't care about a "screaming baby". Pray for colic! :)

Vanessa
Lil' Eddie's Mom

liya

05-15-2003, 07:23 PM

i swear girl you are way too patient.....at 3 weeks of age my son cried so loud i though some one might call child services...instead we got a great neighbohr who decided to report us to our building police everyday...one day she slipped a note underneath my door saying that the grass(we live in walk up) in my lawn was way too tall and that it bothered her veiw...Sure enough this same neihbor was the one that was making those horrible calls...so i went up to her apartment(she lives on top of me) and knocked on her door with my baby in one hand and a trimmer in the other ...when she answered the door i told her "excuse me i understand you are the one who left the note underneath my door, well heres the trimmer go cut my lawn yourself since his screaming seems to piss you off and i can not cut the lawn and shut him up at the same time, you can go do that for me...(in a sarcastic note and my hipocritical smile)i appreciate all the help you are willing to give its not everyday you find neighbors that recognize your situation and are sooo pleasing to help"...You had to see the look on her face imagine me giving an over 60 year old woman a trimmer.......

leave the note in the garbage room youll get a kick out of it...my DH was kinda mad that i did that but man was that rude.... im really hot headed so i couldnt take it the phone calls alone ticked my time bomb imagine the not....arrggghhhhh

zen_bliss

05-15-2003, 11:05 PM

that is brill! sarcastic sweetness i think illlustrates the point better than nasty and gets you more fans.... liya, do you have a note idea for her? i get too mad to be clever.

maybe you can frame the note and post it in the garbage room next to a copy of the rules that clearly says to 'flatten boxes and leave them' there... quad erat demonstratum... and everyone else in your building will be thinking 'what a-hole hates babies? who would write that note?'

don't worry, the author of that note will reveal themselves soon enough, if not on purpose, through their demeanor and actions when baby arrives... then you can torment at will...

liya

05-16-2003, 01:01 AM

going to give you another note idea tomorrow although i really really liked sara's note...it made me lmao.....but zen is right the author will be revealed and then you can say something like (knock on the door)"pardon me, is my baby crying to much for you, well maybe you can come and sit for me while i go flatten the boxes that so seem to annoy you and take them to the basement"....jajajaja ill get a better one youll see.....lol

chrissyhowie

05-16-2003, 10:13 AM

Sigh....it's unbelievable how intolerant some people are.

I think you should post a reply on the door of the garbage room with the photocopy of the note saying:

"To Whomever Slipped the Above Note Under Our Door:
If the flattened boxes are not removed in a timely fashion, please contact the building maintenance.
Please understand that a newborn infant is not like a TV or stereo that is on too loudly and can be turned on and off at will. Remember that this is developing human being that only knows one way to express extreme emotion. Please understand that we too will not be enjoying listening to our baby's cries. We apologize in advance for any disturbance this may cause. If you have any tips as how to best help quiet the baby during those times, we would certainly welcome your constructive suggestions or assistance. Thank you."

The other people on your floor should know how ignorant one of their neighbors is. Really and truly unbelievable!

cuca_

05-16-2003, 10:15 AM

Thanks for all the new ideas on how to deal with this neighbor. Linda, I love your reaction to your neighbor. Believe me, if it hadn't been for my husband I would have posted a note on the garbage room door within seconds. Now that I have had time to think about it, though, I think DH is right. I imagine that whoever did this would enjoy the controversy, especially since no one would know their identity.

Instead, I put together the exersaucer (baby will not be using it for a while, but it was the biggest box I had) and left the box in the garbage room yesterday afternoon. No reaction yet. I still have the diaper genie box and the baby bathtub box waiting to be thrown out. I only wish I knew who this person was because then I would give him/her a piece of my mind. Soon enough though - I'm sure s/he won't be able to keep quiet once the baby arrives and starts crying!

mama2be

05-16-2003, 02:45 PM

typing one handed...sorry!!!!

I actually doubt they would enjoy the controversy...they sound like a coward!!!!! And they want to bully...that is the person who would cringe to someone who stands up to the!!!!!

They also obviously have no social grace!!!!

MartiesMom2B

05-16-2003, 02:55 PM

I have nothing witty to say. Everybody else has great responses. But just wanted you to know that I think whoever wrote that note is a big a$$hole.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

Rachels

05-16-2003, 03:51 PM

:) !!!!!!!!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

liya

05-16-2003, 10:10 PM

ok heres a tip...i know it can tick ppl off but the next time you go to the garbage room to place a box walk through the hall and say it out loud....i know the a$$hole that placed the note underneath your door has to be really watching you all...otherwise why would he/she place a note underneath your door at a time when they know your sleeping...so next time you prance around the hall going to the trash just say "im going to leave some of my flattened boxes in the garbage room now"...lol maybe the bastard will come out....jajaja....
No really you cant be wasting your energy right now on bickering with the dumb a$$ who wrote the note you have to save that for your PUSHING...lol...I did it cause i just cant keep my mouth shut..its the lawyer in me...lol...anyhow if they sucker writes another note keep us posted next time you may not be so nice to the wise a$$....

good luck with everything...i do have a really nice come back though...its polite, sarcastic and down right malevolent......let me know if they write another one....

PS
As for having a screamer, they all tend to have screaming days now and again so maybe they can complain to the door as you slam it in their face....They did speak of a "we" in the note so i believe you will be slamming the door on a couple of ppls faces....lol

zen_bliss

05-16-2003, 11:42 PM

tying in with another post (see neve's rant)
when you find out who it is, post their address & phone number if you can get it so we can sign them up for "feature films" and the online porn sites, etc! (evil, i know....)

how about posting the note next to the mailboxes to let all the other tenants see it and shame the author. 'dear fellow tenants, i hope you can help us... someone was kind enough to stay up into the wee hours and took the time to offer us their thoughtful advice! however, as we don't know who it was, we are unable to thank them personally for sharing. many blessings to you all!"

ooh, just thinking about this is getting me steamed.

Caitlins Mommy

05-17-2003, 07:42 AM

I'm so sorry your neighbor was so rotten to you.What a horrible thing to do a pregnant woman.Well if the super or whoever is in charge of your building hasn't complained,and the directions say just to flaten boxes then I'd just keep taking the boxes to the trash room.

I loved everyones ideas on what to do about this person.All of you ladies had me laughing so hard I was in tears.I 've just been on this board for a couple of hours and love all of you allready.

I'd just take everyones advice and hopefully that would shut this moron up.I totally agree with Neve.This person is such a coward because they don't even have the guts to sign this note.

I hope you start to feel better and try not to worry about this.I'd complain to the building manager if this jerk keeps this up.

Buy the way I do have alot of extra boxes from the abc store and Sams club.I could mail them to you if you want them.

Jennifer mommy to Caitlin 9/28/96
Trying to give Caitlin a brother or sister

ddmarsh

05-17-2003, 10:49 AM

OMG Linda I'm calling you the next time I have a run-in with someone. As a matter of fact I can think of a couple of recent situations where I could have used you. I've always thought of my sister as the world's most courageous b***-buster but I think you now take the cake! How on earth do you manage to come up with such wonderful come-backs *and* have the courage to actually carry them through?? :)

liya

05-17-2003, 02:41 PM

I dont know i guess i was picked on to much as a kid or something....lol...no not really i guess im just to much of a b**** to take crap form stupid people......i learned very early in life that ppl who need to pick, snoop or pry on other ppl are the weakest link to this society...Not pleasing them in their rudeness tends to piss them off....Carrying them out is the fun part you get to see ppls downright SHOCKED faces as you baisically tell them to kiss your a$$ with your beutiful words.....Anytime you have a situation im usually around NO CHARGE ....jejejej :)