Toni Braxton Annoyed Me Today

[blissful mom]

I read e-Pregnancy today and they interviewed Toni Braxton, who is pregnant. When asked "breast or bottle," she emphatically replied, "Bottle — I want to have a life!" As if breastfeeding mothers don't. Personally, I feel that having to buy formula, compare brands/prices/allergens, mix it, sterilize bottles, refrigerate it, etc. doesn't sound like much of a life, either. I guess it's not an issue for her because she can probably afford some nanny to do all the grunt work.

I realize that it's personal choice, but please, don't demean women who want to nurse. We do have lives. Most of us are probably quite interesting!

Oy!
Sorry to sound off again. Like I've said before, I'm in the grouchy stage of pregnancy.

Donna

[Rachels]

No, no, ITA. I think it is a personal choice, but I want accurate information conveyed for women who are trying to decide what to do. When they hear a celebrity (or anybody else who comes across as an expert) say that nursing is undesirable, that's doing them a disservice. I'd like to see much more nursing-supportive messages out there than I do!

-Rachel
Mom to Abigail Rose
5/18/02

[blissful mom]

You are right. I am going to write a letter to e-Pregnancy and let them know (tactfully) how I felt about the comment. I mean, if she doesn't choose breastfeeding, at least don't make it sound so horrible. People are getting run out of malls in my city for nursing in public. Celebrities carry a lot of clout. Cut us a break.

[etwahl]

Are you kidding me? They're getting run out of malls for nursing? What city is this? That's ridiculous. I just don't understand what the problem is.

Tammy,
Mom to Lauren Genevieve
03/12/2003
www.evantammy.com

[Marisa6826]

Just my two cents here.

I had EVERY intention of breastfeeding Sophie. However, due to several different reasons I was unable to and she was getting sick because of it.

I went through some serious heartbreak and a lot of tears, but finally gave into the whole formula thing.

It sucked, but it's what she needed.

Not all of us have the privilege of choice!

-m

Edited to say that providing my daughter with healthy food everyday, while tiring at times, is DEFINITELY not grunt work!

[Vajrastorm]

Allow me to be cynical, but I don't think celebrities should be looked to for lifestyle advice of ANY kind. Most of 'em live crazy self-obsessed lives. Heck, staying married is a challenge for most celebrities, let alone actually raising a child themselves (without a contingent of round the clock nannies and babysitters).

Of course, the sad thing is that people do look up to celebrities, and what they say is given too much weight. Thats life for you :(

Entertainers giving people parenting advice ... kind of makes you want to cry, no?

[nigele]

Her statement offends me as a nursing Mom. I have been nursing for 11 months and I have a life - a really great life, as a matter of fact! In my mind, her reply makes her look uneducated.

BTW - what business is it of e-Pregnancy to ask how a Mom intends to feed her baby, anyway??

[stella]

I, too, would like to have a life. But right now I have two babies who need me. One of them is 6 1/2 months old and nursing. They're both in diapers with no sign of potty training on the horizon. My 23 month old could not be less interested in the potty.

I can't go to the movie or even to the grocery store with them and I have tried Target and am willing to do that again only on a very cabin-feverish day.

It's a bit of a challenge to go from a proferssional to someone who knows all the words to all the Wiggles songs and even gets excited when a new Wiggles video is released because it's not quite as mind-numbing when it's new.

Nursing is hardly what keeps me from having a life. IN fact, nursing (IMO) enables you to have a life because baby just goes where you go and you can nurse almost anywhere w/o having to lug around formula and bottles and mix it while holding a crying baby.

What keeps me from having a life (or life as it once was) is babies. Maybe it's having two at one time. And they will grow all too soon. I have real mixed feelings about having a third because on some days I really do want to have some semblance of a pre-baby life. But they are so funny and sweet and such a joy.

Toni Braxton is in for a rude awakening if she thinks her life will resume as it is now. And if it does resume (with the help of round the clock help), then I feel sorry for her that she's missing out on all this. Motherhood, if done right, really makes you grow - and stretch in ways you never anticipated.

I think she's a jerk for being so selfish - not for choosing to bottle-feed (which does not make you a jerk), but for being so condescending and stupid about life with children.

[C99]

God, Andrie, I 100% totally agree with you!

I especially think Toni Braxton, of all people, is an example of everything that you're not supposed to do. Does anyone remember her "Tiffany Blue" wedding theme? Yeee-uck!

[C99]

I agree, but bear in mind: she may not have meant to be condescending and there may be more to the statement that got edited out.

[Melanie]

>Her statement offends me as a nursing Mom. I have been
>nursing for 11 months and I have a life - a really great
>life, as a matter of fact! In my mind, her reply makes her
>look uneducated.
>

I could NOT possibly agree with you more. It sounds like the type of life she may be wanting is going to be leaving her baby to be raised by someone else.

Mommy to Jonah

[blissful mom]

>I had EVERY intention of breastfeeding Sophie. However, due
>to several different reasons I was unable to and she was
>getting sick because of it.
>
>I went through some serious heartbreak and a lot of tears,
>but finally gave into the whole formula thing.
>
>It sucked, but it's what she needed.
>
>Not all of us have the privilege of choice!
>
>-m
>
>Edited to say that providing my daughter with healthy food
>everyday, while tiring at times, is DEFINITELY not grunt
>work!

Hi, Marisa. It wasn't my point to say that bottle-feeding is wrong. It's simply that to be told that you won't have a life if you breast-feed is a misstatement and a serious one. I totally understand that not all people have choices as far as how their baby will be fed; I just wish that those of us who chose nursing received more support; or, at least that we weren't looked down upon as lifeless drones. That's the biggest criticism I get from people about nursing or any of my other parenting choices when I choose to discuss them. I'll be boring. I won't have a life. My education will go down the drain. In short, my brain will shrink, my world will stultify, and I'll be unattractive and dull. It's pretty insulting to hear that constantly from peers and media.

As far as bottle-feeding being grunt work, I meant that it's hard work to feed a baby, period, breast or bottle. It's probably easier for Toni Braxton to have a life while her baby is dependent on her for food because someone else will more than likely be doing the tiring work you so devotedly do for the benefit of your daughter--and I can't imagine that her hired help is going to do it with as much love as you do it for Sophie. I admire you for going through so much trouble, especially if you had a hard time with breastfeeding when it was impossible. I don't admire someone like Toni Braxton telling women that they have no lives if they breastfeed.

Donna

[MartiesMom2B]

I couldn't agree with you more. Even though she probably has nannies around the clock to raise her children.

I would like to say that some celebrities do endorse breastfeeding I saw Jada Pinkett Smith being interviewed for her Matrix roles and she stated that she was so flexible from the relaxin (however I don't think breastfeeding has anything to do with that) and she said that she lost all of her weight from breastfeeding her child. She took on these rolls shortly after giving birth to her second child. Kudos to Jada for showing that you can have a life breastfeeding. Her movie is kicking butt in the box office and she looks awesome. I don't think she was tied down!

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03
http://www.mcdyer.com/MartieSurasky.htm

[blissful mom]

Way to go, Jada Pinkett Smith! Thanks for sharing that, Sonia, I wasn't aware of her statements on breastfeeding. It's nice to hear someone talk about motherhood--all aspects of it--in a positive light.

I know we shouldn't look to celebrities, but as a first time mom, I feel more vulnerable than I have in my whole life. Sometimes it feels as if everything I do is going to be wrong, and/or damaging to society at large. I hate to admit this, but comments like Toni Braxton's hurt sometimes, because so many people seem to believe them. It's nice to hear about famous moms who love motherhood in the same way. Thank you for telling us about that.

[liya]

Humm yeah shes probably scared that her T###S will sag or something like that...Only someone stupid would think that bottle feeding gives them a life...Im mean you have to get up every 2 hours anyway but it figures she does probably have sometype of nanny to do the job so she can sleep all night long...What a dead beat....

[Aprilbaby4me]

Toni Braxton WOULD choose not to breastfeed; didn't she have complications from BREAST IMPLANTS?!?! She probably CAN'T breastfeed! I seriously suspect that her comment is fueled by pain and regret. She got the implants to look better and she's probably all messed up because of that, so HER baby is better off getting formula. I'll bet she's sorry she got those stupid things put in! Just a thought!!!

[Marisa6826]

Donna-

Thanks for the clarification. It just gets tiring hearing again and again how I "wasn't trying hard enough" and that I should have tried other LCs before giving up. Christ - even my own MOTHER gave me ##### about it.

As I said, I had every intention in the world of b/f Sophie. It broke my heart when it wasn't working.

In the end, you sacrifice whatever is necessary for the good of your child. I pumped milk for 12w and was able to give Sophie that much. And for that I am grateful.

Who knows - maybe next time around it will be different.

For whatever it's worth - she's happy, thriving and beautiful. For me, that is worth everything in the world and then some!

-m

[liya]

nope, incorrect my friend breast augmentation doesnt have almost any effect on the capabilities to BF, breast rteductions do and theres still some women that r capable.....nope i still think she doesnt want to mess up her boobs.....lol

[rula]

I agree e-pregnancy could have picked a better quote because for some reason celebrities carry a lot more weight than they should in people's life's decisions.
People need to realize it's a personal choice; I breastfed for two weeks but it was a struggle for me due to other health problems. People made me feel so guilty for giving it up that I cried for the next two weeks. But my guy is healthy and happy and now so am I.

[Aprilbaby4me]

Right, but she suffered from complications with her breast implants. In an older interview, she mentioned that she was even sick because of the complications.

[4S Ranch]

Hey Rula and Marisa,

I just wanted to tell you that even if you BF for a few days, let alone 2 weeks or 12 weeks, you still gave your baby invaluable colostrum and antibodies! That's wonderful - good for you! I'm sorry if you've had to deal with negative comments (I don't mean here) from people.

Shelly