So is this really as good as it gets?

[kfcboston]

DH and I were just discussing today in the car one of the well-meaning but must annoying and depressing things experienced parents say to us. They see our young infant sleeping away in the stroller, or otherwise caught in a cute moment, and they'll say "oh, be sure to enjoy this time! These are the best times. You'll look back on them fondly." They inevitably have a toddler in tow. I find that to be a real downer, and makes me feel like I have nothing to look forward to!! I know the toddler years can be tough, and I've seen many longing references back to infanthood on these boards. But I WANT to look forward to every year of DS's life, not dread them!

[egoldber]

I always find that my "favorite" age is whatever age Sarah is currently! While the infant days are definitely easier, they are not necessarily more fun. I love being with Sarah now. She is such a little joy. She tries to sing, she dances, she plays pretend, wants to dress herself, reads books to her dolls and animals. I think my favorite thing in the world is her walking down the street holding hands with me and DH. It's so sweet I want to cry.

So while it does get harder, I also think it just gets better and better.

Now, there a lot of people who have raised toddlers that are terrors. And while even the best of toddlers have their moments, there are things you can do to try and prevent that. But if I had a toddler that threw a tantrum every time I told her that she couldn't have a toy she wanted at Target (not that it doesn't happen occasionally), it probably wouldn't be much fun.

HTH,

[trumansmom]

Toddlerhood is WONDERFUL!!! I was just watching DS sleep this afternoon and thinking how amazing it is that he gets more and more wonderful everyday! Truman is a little over 18 months, and it is so cool watching him run and climb on things and to hear him yelling "Mommeeeee"! It's the greatest thing in the world.

So, where you are now is the greatest time you can possibly be having - yet. Toddlers can be a challenge, but watching them grow up and literally see them learning every single day is amazing. Please don't let people discourage you. I think people think it's "cool" to act all put out by their toddlers, but there are many, many rewards to be had!

Jeanne
Mom to Truman 11/29/01

[stillplayswithbarbies]

Every age is the best age. I still find myself saying that with my 12 year old. "This is the best age". It just gets better and better as time goes by. There is always something new. :)

...Karen
Jacob Nathaniel 2/27/91
Logan Elizabeth 3/25/03

[emilyf]

I have had similar thoughts, it's fun to look forward to each stage but hard to imagine him any cuter than he is now. I have a friend who said she always feels sorry for people who don't have kids her kids' age. When they were newborns, she thought everyone should have one. Now her daughter is 11, and she feels sorry for every household without an eleven year old.
Emily
mom of Charlie born 11/02

[stella]

It's not as good as it gets, but it may be as easy as it gets.

Little babies just are a little less trouble than toddlers - they stay where you put them, don't challenge you when you decide that they can't have something, are easily distracted, can be nursed into submission (at least mine could be), can't talk back.

But like everyone else has said, they can't just spontaneously kiss you. They can't scream "yay!!" when you finally "get" what they want and go into the kitchen to get them that cookie, they can't jump in puddles jsut to see what it feels like - they are tiring, it's true, but they are such a joy in so many ways.

Really, every stage is a lot of fun. And in my brief (2 year) experience, the next fun development is always just around the corner!

[MartiesMom2B]

Katie:

So glad you ask this. If I had a dollar that everyone looked at her admiringly and then said "Wait till she gets mobile" or "Wait until she's a toddler" we'd have Martie's college fund already. I know that I should enjoy her at each stage and not keep looking forward to the next stage, but I can't wait until she says "Mommy" or laughs or even sit on her own. I'm sure that I'll love every stage that she is in though. When she first came home I whispered to her, "please stay this small" but now I love when I smile at her and she smiles back.

I'm happy to hear all the positive things from other mommies. It seems like each time I see my SIL she says how horrible it is when you kid is _________ (fill in current age of nephew). She even told me that I would regret having a baby b/c its so hard. Yes I hate the fact that I know that after the first showing of Conan O Brian that last weeks Jay comes on followed by last weeks Conan, but I don't regret having her, and I am sure that as many challenges there are as she grows up there will be just as many if not more rewards.

Sonia
Proud Mommy to Martie 4/6/03

[mharling]

I have felt this way many times! I think the one I get most frequently is, 'Oh, you just wait until he's a teenager.' Well you know what, I'm not even thinking about that right now! I'm not convinced that some of these people that say these things tried to enjoy every moment like I am doing right now. And when he is a teenager, I would imagine that whatever happens, I'll be able to say he's such a joy to have around. Parenting gives us all emotions and challenges, but how can you not see the joy in it even when going through those challenges????

Mary & Lane 4/6/03
http://www.shutterfly.com/osi.jsp?i=67b0de21b33928e40550

[Calmegja]

My eldest is almost 8, and I have to wholeheartedly agree with, whatever age they are, that's the best age to be.

Honestly, I love the tiny infant stage, but there are so many more amazing stages that follow, I can't even explain how wonderful some of the things can be. My almost 8 year old is such a complete little person, it blows my mind. I look at my other children, and I see them following along behind her, and I know we're in for one terrific ride with every last one of them.

Just enjoy every day.......

[colleenfs]

I, too, keep finding myself saying, "This is such a fun age." Every month! So obviously, I am enjoying Julia more and more as time goes by. At 17 months, she is talking so much - there is a new word every day. She walks and runs and climbs. She has a lot of fun these days, and that makes me really happy. I just melt when she smiles at me and says, "mama." That is simply the BEST.

That said, I do miss the newborn stage. Little babies are just so intoxicating, and they smell so good! But I don't miss nursing every 2 hours and getting no sleep. Julia now sleeps @ 12-13 hours straight each night and naps @ 2.5 hours a day. I am finally getting some time to get back to the things that make me happy as "Colleen" and not simply as "mommy."

I'm sure we'll have tough times ahead as we enter the "terrible twos," but it is an important developmental step for every child to express their independence and their will. It too will pass, and then there will be another exciting phase to experience.

Enjoy EVERY minute!


Colleen
Mama to Julia 1-10-02

[Melanie]

People gave us all sorts of unwanted 'warnings,' too. I don't know what goes on in their homes, but like everyone said, IT JUST GETS BETTER. Just this AM I said to Dh, "Happy 2nd Father's Day!" And he said something like, "This is a lot better than last Father's Day." So, of course I'm trying to remember what disaster occurred last year and he said, "No, what I mean is, he is so much more fun this year! He can DO STUFF." LOL Our son is 19 mo and has just started talking a lot, and adding phrases to his word list. It is so much fun to hear him say, "There's my mama."

Yes, I occassionally miss the little bundle of cuddle which will sleep anywhere, but I wouldn't give up my son saying, "Crackers!" and "Thank You!" for the mysterious I-have-no-clue-what-he-wants crying.

[kfcboston]

Thanks so much for the bright future to look forward to! I share all of your feelings about cherishing these times while looking forward to what's to come. I try hard not to wish away these times when things aren't going well, and do find myself looking forward to him becoming more of a "real person" too. I can't wait for him to discover the world, and for me to discover more of him!!

Happy Father's Day!

[Audreymom]

I think parents do this at every age. Right now I've been on complete bedrest for 2 months and I can't tell you how many times parents have said "enjoy all your rest b/c when the baby comes it is going to be SOOO tiring and terrible for 6 weeks". It drives me nuts b/c bedrest is NOT relaxing at all - I've never been more exhausted and worried. But I've learned that most of the time it is people trying to "help".

[KathyO]

Ah, the rose-coloured glasses of memory... I think when people see an infant, they remember the sweet little coos and gurgles, and the teensy adorable clothing, and completely forget the colic and the gas and the interrupted sleep and everything that came with it. Yes, you will look back on these times fondly, but when they're off and married and having their lives, you'll look back on the whole thing fondly.

So much of it comes down to your attitude (which, incidentally, sounds like a really great one). When we had DD, we got a number of congratulatory emails. One, from an acquaintance of DH's, was mostly a nonstop moan about, "Say goodbye to spontaneity in your life..." and just a big long litany of things that he felt he'd lost with having kids. Thanks a lot, Danny. The other, from a friend of my brother's, was a litany of all the fun she was having, that she never knew came with the whole childrearing thing. She's Japanese by birth, so her written English is charmingly fractured, and I adore the description of her checking on the kids who had been quiet for a bit too long, and finding that they had smeared their faces with shoe polish. "Sometimes I am have a hard time to keep my lecture face on!!" Guess who's enjoying their kids more?

I have a 2-year-old, and while I occasionally have wistful thoughts about the days when she would STAY WHERE I PUT HER, I wouldn't trade back for anything. And I look forward to the age when she can really get into the local child-oriented events, and I look forward to having actual conversations with her, and baking cookies together, and I look forward to her being old enough that we can go travelling and she can really relate to what she's seeing.

Don't worry - there's lots of fun ahead!

Cheers,

KathyO

[Andrea S]

>I think my favorite thing in the world is her walking down the street holding hands with me and DH. It's so sweet I want to cry

awww that is so sweet!! That brings tears to my eyes.

Andrea
mom to Andrew 8/14/02

[brubeck]

So on Saturday we went out to lunch with the kids. Or tried to. Amy had a super huge tantrum (well, a few actually, it never quite subsided) and we had to leave early. I was exhausted when we got home and felt like I would never be able to eat out again!

Then I check the boards a couple of hours later and find this discussion. I didn't trust myself to respond! :-)

Then last night we had a breakthrough in potty training. Amy used the potty 3 times voluntarily and kept her underwear dry all afternoon/evening! She was so happy, I was so happy, we celebrated and sang songs and generally had a blast. A totally different girl!

So to answer your question, yes the good times get better, but in some ways the bad times also get worse. It goes hand in hand.

I should point out that you get comfortable with each new age/development and start to take it for granted. Andrew is just on the verge of sitting and it somehow slightly bothers me that I can't just leave him sitting with some toys: he falls over a couple of minutes later and cries to be sat up again. It also bothers me that I can't just give him a cup of milk and some snacks and tell him to be on his way, I have to feed him. With Amy these things are not issues at all! However Andrew was a perfect angel Saturday at lunch hwile his sister screamed. So each age has its pluses and minuses. :-)

[jal]

I always find that my "favorite" age is whatever age Sarah is currently!

Patrick is only 10 months old, but I already see the wisdom in this statement.

Every month, Patrick presents us with a different challange.
Every month, Patrick presents us with a different joy.

[sparkeze]

Each age does definitely have it's pluses and minuses!

I do miss the infant stage when DS was so small and non-mobile, but I can honestly say that it has gotten a LOT better! Yes, he slept a lot, but I had to hold him whenever he slept! Yes, he didn't constantly get into things, but he was completely attached to my body the whole time! I don't miss the lack of sleep and hours of crying.

Now that he's older he's much more interactive, which is so much fun, and he gives me hugs and kisses which are 100X worth all the sleepless nights. I think it gets better and better!

[Melanie]

>Now that he's older he's much more interactive, which is so
>much fun, and he gives me hugs and kisses which are 100X
>worth all the sleepless nights. I think it gets better and
>better!

BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU SAY THAT!! Ds was about 6 weeks old for his first Christmas and just starting to smile and definitely NOT sleeping. We were in a hotel room (no SWING! I wish that take-along thing was around then). I was talking to him and he smiled and I said something like, "Oh that is worth all the sleepless nights!" Guess what? One of the worst nights ever!!

Mommy to Jonah