I am so annoyed--am I being unreasonable? My mom and sister have really made me mad.

[caffeinedreams]

My mom and sister just announced they are going to Europe this fall with 2 other relatives. Last summer, they took a 2-week trip with my sister's 3 kids and I was not invited--my mom said to me "You and Davis (my DH) can afford trips. Your sister can't, so I am going to treat her." This time around, mom claims my sister is paying her own way, but I don't buy that because my sister is a single mom with a lower-paying job who has to get money from my parents to pay for everyday needs, including my mom buying her a new car a year ago and making the payments for her. My mom said to me "We did not invite you because we knew you could not go." No, we can't because we can't afford it right now and my husband is in school, so he could not go at that time even if we could afford it, and if we could afford for one to go, I can't just go because the good price they are getting is based upon an even number of people going and I would throw that off.

My DH is a full-time student and we have a child, so we are really no better off financially than my sister, and my mom already pays for practically everything for my sister and her kids, which she does not do for me or mine. My family and I have not taken a vacation in a few years for financial reasons. I don't expect everything to be equal all the time and I certainly don't want or need to be financially supported by my mother, but this has really ticked me off. I bit my tongue the last time they took a trip and did not say anything, but this is way too much IMO. Even if my sister paid her own way, I know my mom would pay for her meals and all other daily expenses.

Then, to top it off, my mother suggested that I could babysit my nieces while they are gone! I was so shocked by all this that I did not say anything, but the more I think about it, the madder I get.

I guess I just want to know if I am being unreasonable here or if I have a right to be totally angered by this. I don't want to be a childish brat, but the idea that they are planning a trip to Europe that I'm not invited on and then have the gall to suggest I babysit has me livid.

Any opinions are welcome, and it does help to vent a bit here!

[liya]

Well yes i would get me mad up to a point but then again it just would wear off cause at the very end your sister will someday pay for all these free trips...i dont know thats the way i think of it...mostly the only thing that would outright piss me off would be them having the gull to ask me to babysit..I mean who cares about your stupid trip but find someone to take care of your KIDS....cause you have your own you know...

i totally understand the full time student thing...but maybe your mom takes pitty on her for being a single mom..which shouldnt be and im not in anyway rewarding her for it..But maybe she thinks she needs company i dont know...

but the babysitting thing...no way that was low very low!!

[AngelaS]

Wow, that is nervy! I'd be venting too!

As for the babysitting, you COULD babysit. For a price....such as $5 an hour X 24 hours X however many days, PREPAID before they leave! Then you could spoil your nieces postively ROTTEN and have a ball with just them and no evil mommy or grandma to spoil your fun! They would talk about the visit to Aunties house for YEARS and beg grandma to take their mean ol' mom on vacations for years to come.... Bwaaahaaahahaha!!!

[memedee]

I believe we should love our children equally but that does not mean give them the same things.
Sometimes one needs more help financially etc.
As far as helping her out with her children and their needs.
However, a trip to Europe does not fall into that category.
If your mother is treating her to this luxury and I agree with you she definitely is she should be treating you to something too.
That is if she doesnt want you to feel hurt or resentful.
The answer to the babysitting is NO I couldnt.
Ther is no way on earth I would do that.
That would only compound the feelings of resentment you already have.
As far as the trip to Europe with your mother...well it wouldnt matter how much fun your mother is .Your sister does not have a partner to share her life with and a trip to anywhere would not fix that.Maybe that was your mothers intent to try and make her a little happier and she thinks you are already happy.
I am sure if your sister had options ,she would choose a husband and staying at home.
That said I would still say no to the babysitting.That is just too insensitive.

[farsk]

Caffine Dreams,

Be forewarned that with only 19 days left until my due date in the sweltering south, and having Generalized Bitchiness Disorder (GBD), I am not truly responsible for what comes from my keyboard and on to your screen.

HOW BITCHY!!!!!!!!!!

A cheer-me-up-trip is a trip to the mall and a new outfit and a nice dinner, not a two week trip to Europe!!!!! (Keep in mind that my own mother had to count out Easter candy to ensure that my sister and I got equal amounts). Now that we're adults, my mom does more (financially) for my little sister, but it does not bother me at all because DH and I can go and do as we please (at least until Ellen arrives!) That being said, my mom would never pull this two-weeks in Europe thing and then ask me to babysit. The nerve! There is no way in hell that I would babysit, no matter how much I loved my nieces and nephews.

You are not being childish. You have a legitimate right to be upset. I guess my retort would be, "so mom, it's you and me at a luxury resort in the Caribbean next year, your treat!" Unfortunately, priding myself on my southern-ness, I guess I would really say, "How Nice", instead of "F^ck You!" (sorry for my use of language....sometimes it just comes out!)

-Shannon
Mom to Ellen (edd 7/28/2003)