SeekerMage
07-10-2003, 12:55 AM
Fricken Fracken no good miserable biological parent!!!!!
Sheesh...I need to vent or Im gonna explode...Im sooo tired of this never ending roller coaster ride...will it never end?
Long story...and sheesh its a doozy...we have our three year old daughter by legal guardianship through the state....she is our second cousin on my husbands side...and we have had her since just after her second birthday when her mom more or less abandoned her...the state got involved...and so did we and basically we were handed her for guardianship...partly with the mother contesting but it was either sign her over or she goes to the state...so she agreed finally.
Any how....the father has already agreed to hand her over to us for adoption...always has because he feels that we are good for her and as long as he has some contact
he is happy...all well and good.
The mother on the other hand....just so you know both parents have mentalitys of about junior high level....is a constant roller coaster...one minute she is ready to hand her over...the next she thinks she is getting her back....and its been like this off and on for a year!.....well recently she got married...sheesh thats a whole other story...and she stated that she wanted to hand her over to us because it wasnt fair that her new hubby should have to raise another mans kid.....and she stated this a few times...seemed like she was finally gonna hand her over ....well we contacted a lawyer...set up a meeting and low and behold she doesnt show...even though she said she would!!!!!!!
Soooo we give her a call to find out why she wasnt there...she mumbled some excuse and went on to say that she was probably pregnant...sheesh that poor kid if she is....and that she wanted DD back....either now by temporary custody...when she was five or six...or she would totally hand her over to us only if she got to see her more often! As it is we have bi weekly visits with both parents...mom one week dad the next....these are hard enough as it is with our busy schedule not to mention its kinda hard on DD! And the fact that legally we dont have to let her see them at all, we are only doing it to be nice, let her know her family etc. But she just doesnt understand this because she doesnt work and has all the time in the world. Did I mention she was like a little teeny bopper who lives the life of a kid? Movies, going out, talking trash etc? She keeps saying she was lied to that she should be able to see her when ever she wants...yet she doesnt realize how good she has it because of DD was in foster care she would have none if any visitations! ARG!
Sooo basically now Im beside myself...we have all the papers signed and can file them at any time...but if we do then our guardianship is almost void and it will be easier for her to get ahold of DD....not that a judge will hand her over...but its still a possiblity as she is the natural parent. We are ready to fight and we told her so, and if we have to we will just wait a few more years for the adoption (especially since its really just a name change...but then she is really ours if you know what I mean...now its kinda like she is a loaner and we feel we have to walk on egg shells over the littlest things!)but sheesh! With a new baby on the way we hoped to finally make everything permanent...complete the family finally....high hopes and all! Its just really frustrating...I dont know how much more of this roller coaster I can take! It goes on like this all the time....If you knew more of the situation you wouldnt believe it...heck I should write a book but everyone would think its fiction!...did I mention she was on the street for a while...was shot at, the gun jammed so she was beaten with it instead (and she thinks this was cool and nothing to be concerned about!!!!) on top of the fact that she has no job, and her hubby will be out of work in a few weeks/months and plans to live on the severance with no concern of getting another job...and she thinks she is pregnant (if not she is trying and she has only been married a few weeks) and capable of taking care of a three year old when she herself doesnt bathe on a regular basis!! I wont even get into DD babyhood and how she supposedly ate a whole big mac and fries,when she was only six months old if that because she went straight to fast food and skipped baby food all together, or the fact that she was in the car while mom was drag racing and out till all hours of the night!
OK OK IM done ranting now! I could go on for hours...and I already have and barely touched the surface. I shouldnt complain too much,,,we have DD legally and she is happy and healthy and the light of our lives. I just hate the thought of she not really "really" being ours with the possiblity that one day she can be taken away. Especailly with the hope of her adoption finally goign through...its just a little tough. My hormones are obviouslly acting up and just that fact that the mom couldnt show up to the lawyer to tell us any of this face to face really aggrivates me...guess I wanted a fight and didnt get the chance is all!
thanks for letting me rant...I needed it otherwise im gonna start crying! :( I hope things settle one of these days...
Sheesh...I need to vent or Im gonna explode...Im sooo tired of this never ending roller coaster ride...will it never end?
Long story...and sheesh its a doozy...we have our three year old daughter by legal guardianship through the state....she is our second cousin on my husbands side...and we have had her since just after her second birthday when her mom more or less abandoned her...the state got involved...and so did we and basically we were handed her for guardianship...partly with the mother contesting but it was either sign her over or she goes to the state...so she agreed finally.
Any how....the father has already agreed to hand her over to us for adoption...always has because he feels that we are good for her and as long as he has some contact
he is happy...all well and good.
The mother on the other hand....just so you know both parents have mentalitys of about junior high level....is a constant roller coaster...one minute she is ready to hand her over...the next she thinks she is getting her back....and its been like this off and on for a year!.....well recently she got married...sheesh thats a whole other story...and she stated that she wanted to hand her over to us because it wasnt fair that her new hubby should have to raise another mans kid.....and she stated this a few times...seemed like she was finally gonna hand her over ....well we contacted a lawyer...set up a meeting and low and behold she doesnt show...even though she said she would!!!!!!!
Soooo we give her a call to find out why she wasnt there...she mumbled some excuse and went on to say that she was probably pregnant...sheesh that poor kid if she is....and that she wanted DD back....either now by temporary custody...when she was five or six...or she would totally hand her over to us only if she got to see her more often! As it is we have bi weekly visits with both parents...mom one week dad the next....these are hard enough as it is with our busy schedule not to mention its kinda hard on DD! And the fact that legally we dont have to let her see them at all, we are only doing it to be nice, let her know her family etc. But she just doesnt understand this because she doesnt work and has all the time in the world. Did I mention she was like a little teeny bopper who lives the life of a kid? Movies, going out, talking trash etc? She keeps saying she was lied to that she should be able to see her when ever she wants...yet she doesnt realize how good she has it because of DD was in foster care she would have none if any visitations! ARG!
Sooo basically now Im beside myself...we have all the papers signed and can file them at any time...but if we do then our guardianship is almost void and it will be easier for her to get ahold of DD....not that a judge will hand her over...but its still a possiblity as she is the natural parent. We are ready to fight and we told her so, and if we have to we will just wait a few more years for the adoption (especially since its really just a name change...but then she is really ours if you know what I mean...now its kinda like she is a loaner and we feel we have to walk on egg shells over the littlest things!)but sheesh! With a new baby on the way we hoped to finally make everything permanent...complete the family finally....high hopes and all! Its just really frustrating...I dont know how much more of this roller coaster I can take! It goes on like this all the time....If you knew more of the situation you wouldnt believe it...heck I should write a book but everyone would think its fiction!...did I mention she was on the street for a while...was shot at, the gun jammed so she was beaten with it instead (and she thinks this was cool and nothing to be concerned about!!!!) on top of the fact that she has no job, and her hubby will be out of work in a few weeks/months and plans to live on the severance with no concern of getting another job...and she thinks she is pregnant (if not she is trying and she has only been married a few weeks) and capable of taking care of a three year old when she herself doesnt bathe on a regular basis!! I wont even get into DD babyhood and how she supposedly ate a whole big mac and fries,when she was only six months old if that because she went straight to fast food and skipped baby food all together, or the fact that she was in the car while mom was drag racing and out till all hours of the night!
OK OK IM done ranting now! I could go on for hours...and I already have and barely touched the surface. I shouldnt complain too much,,,we have DD legally and she is happy and healthy and the light of our lives. I just hate the thought of she not really "really" being ours with the possiblity that one day she can be taken away. Especailly with the hope of her adoption finally goign through...its just a little tough. My hormones are obviouslly acting up and just that fact that the mom couldnt show up to the lawyer to tell us any of this face to face really aggrivates me...guess I wanted a fight and didnt get the chance is all!
thanks for letting me rant...I needed it otherwise im gonna start crying! :( I hope things settle one of these days...