WWYD? Invited to MILs expensive retirement party!

[mom2kandj]

This isn't really a bitch, but more of a peeve...

Last week I was contacted by one of MILs coworkers asking for a picture for her retirement party. The organizers plan on framing the picture and having all the attendees sign the mat to personalize the photo. We went out of town this weekend for a family reunion and I didn't manage to get any good shots of her. Well, they called yesterday and I quickly emailed two pictures hoping that one would work. Well, here's the email I got back...

*Thanks for your help. The retirement luncheon will be on February 24th and the cost will be 30.00 which will include the lunch, tax, tip and gift. Hope to see you there.*

Yes, I'd love to attend to celebrate this day with her(This is the only job she's ever had and she's been a social worker with LA county for over THIRTY FIVE years!), but don't feel that it would be appropriate for the kids...not to mention the price tag for lunch!

I'm thinking that I'll offer to babysit my niece so that my SIL and DH can attend childfree and represent the family. Do you think this would work? TIA for your input!



Rose
mom 2 Katie 12/02/00
& Jack 04/16/02

[Dcclerk]

Rose, I think that is a perfect idea. Round these parts, $35 is starting to sound like a bargain for these shindigs, so I'm completely sympathetic. K&J are absolutely gorgeous, charming, sweet kids, but because of that, they might steal the show if they came. You will just be looking (and being) very thoughtful by making it so that your DH and SIL can go childfree. Unless your MIL is unreasonably self-involved (which I know can happen;) ), I think your plan is the best possible option for everyone.

[NEVE and TRISTAN]

When you say "SIL and DH" do you mean her DH or your DH???

I'd do everything in my power to get your DH there...and if you can staying home and watching the kids so that that can happen is an excellent gift in itself...


Neve
AKA "mama2be"-forgot password
and Baby Boy Tristan born @UNC
Feb 25, 2003
Brother to 3 pups "gees" and 2 kitties

[McQ]

I think that sounds like a wonderful idea. A win-win if you ask me.

Allison
~ mommy to Declan 3.24.03

[mom2kandj]

DH would be my husband and therefore, MILs two kids (hopefully) would be attending. FIL passed away before DD was born and MIL leans heavily on DH. FWIW, DH is in agreement with the plan and now, hopefully I can get SIL to jump on the bandwagon, too. :)


Rose
mom 2 Katie 12/02/00
& Jack 04/16/02

[mom2kandj]

I thought I had it all worked out! DH was convinced and had even talked to his mom about it! Then she called me last night and...

SHE THOUGHT HE WAS JOKING about me staying home with the three grandkids and letting her kids come to the party kidfree!

She says that all her coworkers know how much her grandkids mean to her and she REALLY wants them there! I told DH about MIL's plan and we totally agree that it is not appropriate for them to be there! Now, how do we convince grandma????

I thought my plan sounded too good to be true...

Rose
mom 2 Katie(12/02/00)
& Jack(04/16/02)

[pritchettzoo]

Does she understand how much it would cost to have the kids there??? If so, is she willing to foot the bill? Good grief!

Can you have a family cookout for her on the weekend following the party? Something that would be remotely enjoyable for the kids too?

Anna
Mama to Gracie (9/16/03)

[gravymommy3]

Rose,

It sounds like your MIL really wants her co-workers to see her grandkids. We all now how Grandmas like to brag about them. I can't imagine you would be charged for the kids to eat - especially if you brought their own food (Or let them eat off your plate.)

If she has her heart set on them being there, then go. If they are disruptive, then it's on her and she will think they are being cute anyway.

[jesseandgrace]

I don't know if this is possible, but how about just stopping by the event with the kids, maybe at the end of everything? That way you won't be there for the lunch part but your MIL gets to show off the kids. Just a thought.

[vikivoly]

Rose,

I think I'm with Amy on this one. If you don't go and take the kids your likely to come across as being stubborn and un-caring.

[Melanie]

Your idea was grand (and generous), but it's her party, so if she wants her grandchildren there, then it's appropriate for them to be there...KWIM? I think they are so young, just don't buy them a ticket if it is a money issue, or at the very least not the little one. I don't understand why children would be inappropriate at a retirement luncheon for a social worker, maybe I'm misunderstanding?

Assuming of course that you're local to her and it's not a big problem for the children to go, or it's not terribly late at night, etc.